No.
7277
>>7257It's been about a week and a half. How are you doing? Are you staying clean and sleeping well? Do you have a place to stay? I hope you stay safe out there. At least in the U.S., the pigs like to harass homeless people.
No.
7278
I find it pretty much impossible to do drugs like alcohol, watch mo
YO What the heck?
The formatting on this post screwed up big time.
Okay, it's back to normal.
Anyways, it's hard for me to do drugs or watch movies. I can't really celebrate holidays, either. My brain says to keep doing the same stuff and that starting things is hard. Also, work gets me tired, and after sleeping after work, I only have like, four hours to do stuff, so I want to have fun. You can't blame me for that, can you?
No.
7292
My mind is a prison and sleep is the key
I want this nightmare to end
I want to be FREE
The internet is the jailer,
My prison is vast,
My world is a sea of gray
present mixes with past
I'm tired, man. While in some people's youth, they regret their choices and ignorance when they were kids, but instead of that, I made no choices. Life has become a blur that passes me by. And while these things, people, events, pass me by, I find myself unable to care or even express myself. I see kids younger than me go on to other things while I feel like I'm in a time loop. Even typing this out or saying all this, I have these doubts in my head. Even wizchan and this site give me no relief. I see the sad posts on wizchan and I end up feeling nothing. I come to this place, and it's pretty much dead. There's really no other place I go to.
If this were a video game, I would have turned off the system and restarted my game, but I can't restart my life and I don't want to turn it off.
No.
7293
woo bud, sounds like you gotta let go of many things and ideals that are keeping you weak and strive for the best from this clean image of yourself.
No.
7294
>>7292What
>>7293 Liz said.
Also that may sound like rambling, but maybe it will help you like it did for me.
You should get rid of someone's thoughts/views about you from your head.
Untill you realize that these thoughts are fake and basically previous experiences on loop, it's gonna hurt.
I mean, it's super rare to self hate without experiencing it first from outside world.
No.
7297
>>7296Yes, I'd like to be normal, but it seems I forgot the memo and got stuck in these lairs for too long.
No.
7298
>>7297>I'd like to be normalAhahah. Wrong chan buddy
What's up with people like you? Going to places where others are reclusive by choice.
To cry about loneliness and their failed normie life.
Can't you just fuck off to a place dedicated for such issues?
Why shit all over this place with your normal faggotry…
Is this concept so hard to grasp?
No.
7300
>>7298It's not healthy to believe things that way bud.
No.
7301
>>7300>not healthy to believe things that wayHaha what way? Sounds like you have some interesting backstory about me.
I just pointed to look somewhere while being a dick about it.
Can do it nicely too. LOOK
>>7295Hewlo, if imageboards are not for you…
Perhaps finding some friends in online game might help you.
There are also discord groups but idk how that works.
Honestly the best place to find a friend is getting a penpal through Slowly app.
thought I needed something like that and left after realizing it being different cause Social medias are not a place for it.
It is a lengthy process but I believe that everyone can find their soulmate if they try long enough.
>Will I be forever alone?No, don't worry about it. Some day you will not feel like that but first you must put some effort into it and keep trying.
FIRST STEP WOULD BE RESPECTING THE FUCKING NORMS ON SOME DEAD SITE THEN TRY IRL. WITHOUT THAT YOU WILL BE A ANNOYING FUCK-UP LIKE YESTERDAY
No.
7393
Sometimes I think "I don't want to do this any more", but I don't know what I don't want to do. The closest thing that comes to mind is "everything". It's not about doing something else in life, but life itself is tiring. I'm sure other people have thought this before, too. I also get this weird feeling or realization that I am one of many people in my community, city, county, state, country, etc. There are other people around, and it's just that we're all separated by our houses. Weird feeling.
No.
7443
>>7442>IT'S A KILLER MIGRAINE I wish
No.
7444
>>7443no killing just a lot of puking.
Right after preparing bunch of food the aura hit me.
Well with the plate full it would be shame to wait few hours.
I should chew more
No.
7529
You're just lazy, smart people are lazy.
You are not depressed and even worse at faking it.
I envy warmies and their willpower that shatters every diagnosis and freakout.
Is everyone like that or is it just blood-related thing?
No.
7531
>>7529nah, depression and mental illness is real and should be taken seriously. People with mental illness should get help and medication, and it's much more common than we think. Also, it's important that mental disabilities are as recognized as physical disabilities. Much love, liz. <3
No.
7533
>>7531I agree but it's over for me.
Replied with 232 words but that was the most pathetic thing to ever be posted on this site.
My greatest fear is losing control and sanity.
Worst thing is that I never had any of it even to begin with and I had no idea until recently.
The voices - distinctive like imaginary friends.
The amnesia, and in the place of it, invalidated stories.
Most fond memories, fake.
Can't call myself a human,
I am the courier of disease
41% n DID
No.
7540
The internet and society is poison. Seems like the internet wants you to waste as much time as possible while people are trying their best to make the lives of other people they don't like as bad as possible (and making everyone else's lives bad as well). Oh, and companies do that too. Paying as little as possible and giving as little benefits as you can definitely makes the lives of most people even worse.
No.
7542
>>7540>The internet and societyYou don't have to be a part of it just touch grass
>the internet wants you to waste as much timeUh yeah, you're the product.
No.
7545
I'm done, feeling so terrible and suicidal that I have a burning sensation in my chest.
No real issues, just my mind.
Had two good days and now it's even worse than before. AAAA I HAVE NO WAYS TO COPE
GOD GIVE ME A VISION, DELUSION SO STRONG THAT IT WILL FIX ME
MAY I HAVE ONE THEN I WILL SPREAD YOUR WORD EVERYWHERE I GO
No.
7552
Cont
>>7533Questionable content
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>Holy shit I'm gonna fucking ropę>Wait maybe trannies know something that I don't>Lurk>What the, it's exactly how right-wing extremists say>it's a kink>hivemind>"euphoria boner"???I've never been more disgusted in my life.
It feels like I am the only one suffering from this illness.
Best comparison I could think of are fags when they accept/find out that they prefer men and then start fucking them /have fantasies about it.
That's what they are all doing.
I'm not like that, I never wanted to be born with such delusion and tried everything to get rid of it. How can they even be happy about finding out lol
I have exhausted all my options. Well I will just be a man on estrogen, that doesnt make any less liz than I am now.
I won't turn into a woman or become less of a man that I am now.
If you disagree then you are just a faggot trannylover, *drops mic*
No.
7553
>>7533>>7552Oh no. I didn't reply and now his brain broke. :(
I'm sorry that you feel it's over for you. It's obvious you have a lot of demons and self esteem issues as well. If you can, please seek help. Not a single person here has the skills, experience, or resources here to help you, and only you have the ability to get the help you need. I wish you luck and hope for the best for you in the future.
No.
7556
>>7553>now his brain brokeYes
>ask warmies for helpWaste of money and time, difference between me and them is too big for it to make any sense.
If no liz is able to come up with anything then only I can solve these problems or get killed by them.
Did injection yesterday and pierced through thigh muscle by mistake, stings like a bitch lol.
At least this gave me some sort of internal peace, as it is the last method to aid myself.
If nothing changes for the better mentally in a year then I quit.
No.
7565
don't troon out anon holy shit
No.
7566
>>7565>don't troon outWould never do that.
I am just a man who lost battle with mental illness, this shitty delusion sounds silly but it destroyed me beyond repair.
I have never crossdressed or pretended to be something else
and never willJust a cursed liz, please don't imagine me in other ways.
And since I tried everything, now it was either getting pentobarbital or estradiol.
So obviously I went for the latter as it is supposed to make this suffering from this shit more bearable.
I can always cure and cleanse myself with death later.
As I was saying it's worse now but I'm slightly less suicidal now lol
No.
7568
>>7567>can be cured awayLol you didn't have gender dysphoria if it went away. Just something else that fooled you into thinking like that. Real shit doesn't just leave you when you think it through.
Like you can't delete delusion with facts.
Schizophrenic can tell themselves that stuff he's hearing is not real but it will still be here.
>can be cured away without estragen if you really want itLiz… haha I tried everything in 12 years of having this delusion . I never wanted to be this.
>accept being gayFrom what you're writting it seems like you were homophobic fag and you picked thought of being a woman to make it more acceptable in your eyes.
When it comes to me it never was an issue.
Idc if I'm getting off to monster girls or some furry gay crap.
>can't change biological realityYes, but I can change the hormone balance in my brain and hope it gets better.
>by taking girl pills you will just end up killing yourselfI think you've missed the part where I was deciding between ordering execution pills or hormones.
I'm already on DIY stabbing myself with needles. If I didn't go for this I would already be dead.
>Why don't you get /fit/ and hairyI was already jacked and bald with facial hair and it didn't change anything, made me feel worse.
>and be a top instead lol?I don't even like being top fictional scenarios.
If I were interested in banging people acting like this, it would just make me more dysphoric and suicidal.
No.
7571
>>7570>then I will not keep on telling you how to fix itOh no no, please tell me all the ways to fix it.
Perhaps there is something that I have not tried yet.
That's why I made this post, so I would be grateful if you could write more about it, thank you Liz
No.
7572
>>7571read Ray Blanchard's theories on autogynephilia and make sure that you don't have that. 99% of all trans people really just have AGP. If you have felt this way for 12 years though, IDK, that may be legitimately gender dysphoria but I just think you should be completely 100% sure because that diagnosis is bandied about very freely and we are talking about a major life change. And dont get bottom surgery
No.
7573
>>7572>autogynephilia and make sure that you don't have thatWell sadly I do not have this, not a single thing in the paper is relatable.
Can I get it somehow? I would rather "suffer"
be coomin from being fetishist.
Just joking, looks like I'm fucked.
GG unless you've got more stuff
No.
7575
>>7572>>7573Looks like on the wikipedia pages Ray Blachard's theory is controversial and his works are used by anti-trans people and websites. Also, it seems like trans people themselves aren't accepting of the theory. If you look into his theory, best look at the opposition as well.
No.
7576
>>7574Yeye changing wheels won't make me Ferrari, it's not like I'm ever going to be able to afford it lol.
Hopefully better luck next life.
>>7575His papers have some retarded moments that make no sense or disregard people that are only suffering while not being fetishists.
I could singlehandedly make his work complete by providing additional info and correcting his statements xd
Typical doc who knows everything.
>best look at the opposition as well. Tranny community will disregard everything negative, only allowed thoughts are positive.
They're saying you can't be AGP because it's not real, then call their dong a clitty while having euphoria boners as they wear dress.
Even worse are detrans retards that either got hit with psyops or were not sure about who they are, and now blame the system/society lol
The only correct stance is transmedicalism, yet this set of beliefs is considered transphobic by most fags XD
Everything else is fetish or effect of mental issues and misunderstanding.
I've started getting into these topics/communities just recently and damn.
It really makes me want to go full jihad on these fools for making bad rap. My research is done.
That's all from me about this topic.
Current me is made out of learned behaviours that replaced what I once was, and now being steered by mental illnesses.
There is no me in me.
I'm just gonna try not to kill myself heh
No.
7579
>>7578gay? yeah I'm happy, bud ;)
No.
7663
>>7632Oops nvm back to baseline state, dealing with normies at workplace is too much for me to bear.
Definetely gonna kill myself sooner or later.
Next month gonna get some fentsanyl and heroine.
I hope it will be fun
I don't really drink but today I was bouncing of the walls, cut myself and cried a bit lol
No.
7665
I really haven't done anything worthwhile in about 3 weeks, so this time, I swear, I promise, promise(!) that I'll definitely do something this week (lol). I definitely won't phase through the entire week in what seems like a day.
yeah, right.
