No.
8459
I wonder if this shit counts as OCD? Probably not? It's nothing like the gay wikipedia describes. But Jesus Raptor! Just what the fuck did I just do? I sank something like two hours into void doing some useless shit just because an imageboard post triggered me. What the actual fuck?
Is this ADHD? Fuck like hell I know. The gay DSM-V and the gay wikipedia describe some abstract shit that honestly I don't know can be applied at all. But there is something along the lines of "fuck it lets just do whatever I find immediately rewarding!". Yeaah! Why not? Why not fucking ruin your life every fucking time, EVERY FUCKING TIME when it seems things are going okay, it just happens and fucking ruins everything.
Please tell me, enlighten me, why the fuck is it so hard to stop focusing on spontaneous shit? It is so fucking frustrating. There is no pattern, no anything. It just randomly possess my mind, completely. It's so bad that if my own house was burning I'd still linger on the spot trying to satisfy the compulsion before the fire reaches me.
Jesus fucking Raptor, what the fuck did I do yesterday? I haven't spent a split second thinking. The fancy just struck my stupid brain like a bullet and I completely, entirely stopped giving a fuck. Fucking crazy. It only gets worse, somehow. Always worse. Always enlarging the magnitude of my inability to keep myself in my own fucking Raptor forsaken hands.
>I will not rant today, I will nooooooooot
Yeah sure as fuck.
There is nothing more sickening than the motive behind these rants. Nothing so fucking gay as my own attempt to what? Why do I do it? I certainly don't feel like ranting is the punishment. Through years it became sort of enjoyable, but it is so gay that I have to rant somewhere somebody might at least see it. It is fucking ridiculous. Absolutely abominable, me. I wish it was something acquired as I grew up, but this shit is deep in my retarded genetics. Fuck it.
No.
8476
>>8466Totally can relate to your vents.
I guess that's what to happens to overanalytical minds with no purpose.
But it's hard to find it when nothing sparks interest.
At least your body is yours.