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Bury yourself in the ground lizzie
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File: 1716450824405.jpg (175.31 KB,1536x2048,20240523_024809.jpg)

 No.7549

Wah waah posts go here

  No. 7555

File: 1716568082967.png (8.74 KB ,271x274 , yosup.png )


  No. 7557

Nothing worse than few good days and back to the shitty baseline.
I've been feeling well for 3 days, it never went on that long.
I thought that everything will be good nie but no, just some contrast to make it more painful:ddd

  No. 7558

It doesn't hang lizzies… Not even a little bit. 😭😭😭😭😭

  No. 7559

File: 1716789607624.png (400.71 KB ,625x597 , Screenshot_20240527-020010….png )

>>7558
Whaaat?
At least make your cry posts clear and not some cryptic pussy message with emojis, amateur

  No. 7560

Nvm i'm not done, why do even christian's get sad over bad things that happen.
Like bitch, that's god's will. Embrace your saviour's decision.
Don't question, praise your lord

  No. 7561

>>7560
Life is an illusion. Chop wood, carry water even

  No. 7562

File: 1717325273883.jpg (29.54 KB ,500x500 , fd05c437-8ae9-44ce-9095-09….jpg )

Took my vents and schizo ramblings on reddit and got banned on 4 accounts in two weeks lol
I'm just going to use steam comments for that from now on.
lizchan is too slow for the amount that I'm pumping out

  No. 7583

>>7581
Lol are you still visiting wiz?
btw boyposter/andrew the cunt was mod there for few years

  No. 7584

>>7583
No, I've left it for good now. I don't even know why I stuck around as long as I did. Pure inertia, I guess. There is a special place in Hell for them

  No. 7585

>>7562
what's the problem though? you find a place and keep yourself there til people haul your ass of. slow board? you're blessed! so much place to yourself! ahh, you're concerned about being "cringe"? fuck it. you'll feel much better once you do

  No. 7586

>>7560
>why do even christian's get sad over bad things that happen.
because they are fake. truly wise people who recognize god and his will don't get upset. also pain is painful, that's a factor and all people have different pain thresholds. too much pain and you loose your mind, can't be blamed for that realistically

  No. 7588

dads health seems like its getting bad hes had a nasty cough for the last year thats been noticeably worse the last month or so and his voice sounds weak and raspy and hes obviously not 100% there mentally im not ready to find him dead but i think itll happen soon

  No. 7589

>>7588
At least you are an adult, my dad died when I was 10, as a kid it was weird because you don't know anything and experiencing that as a kid is just something… I think that's why I became such a shut-in anti social person in the first place. I don't know your relationship with him but just cherish every moment if you want with him.

  No. 7592

Wet dreams were again at it and I didn't manage to wake in time. I'm fuming

  No. 7595

I can't relate at all to feeling upset about family members passing away not even parents.
They've got what they raised, me not being able to fix all this bullshit solo just shows how much they've fucked up.

>>7585
>so much place to yourself!
Too easy to spot
>"cringe"? fuck it. you'll feel much better once you do
I've been doing this for years and looking back at my post, it's really scary, basically in a loop and things getting only worse lol

>>7586
Woah you're smart
>different pain thresholds
Still can not believe that most of people just don't get it, I'm always labeling them as dumb npcs.
My threshold is so fucking low that living feels like a joke

>>7592
Whaaaat I thought only kids get that, you are not faping or something?
Had it happen only once as a youngling.

  No. 7603

>Whaaaat I thought only kids get that
I am sort of a kid myself, though it never happened when I actually was a teenager. Only started to happen once in a while since I stopped jerking off for good.

  No. 7605

>>7603
>stopped jerking off
U silly thing why would you do that? lol
It's either manual or automatic JIZZ IN YOUR PANTS

  No. 7607

>>7605
My will is more important to me than some shallow pleasure. I maintain that fap goes against getting magic and does not allow you to fully disregard females. Got banned for this on crabchan more than once lmao. You really want to have a debate?

  No. 7608

File: 1718894478870.jpg (396.5 KB ,1536x2048 , GHvoSlzb0AAdQWV.jpg_large.jpg )

>>7607
>You really want to have a debate?
Fight me

>does not allow you to fully disregard females

Wh-what? Maybe you are crab yourself because to me it makes no sense.
Just don't fap to 3dpd, hell even not to anime girls.
Go for mlp, feral furries, rag dolls. The possibilities are endless.

If only human depictions get you hard then you're repressing your warm blooded horniness.

if you're not degen, uuuh did you know that u can just fap for physical pleasure without imagining things?

Sexual tension is not something that you cant kill. You can repress but it will be always here.
That's how we are wired. Oh and I'm not talking about need to fuck.

It's much better to keep your apebrain in harmony and not force it against the nature.
Postnut clarity is real

  No. 7609

Can kill*

  No. 7610

>Fight me
Not in the mood. A few days ago I was unhealthily agitated (had a lot of nervous tension that built up). Now I'm slack.
>Go for mlp, feral furries, rag dolls.
Go fuck your bed for all I care, if you are really that helpless against your libido. I don't see a point of going to all the trouble of forcing myself on imaginary dolls.
>Postnut clarity is real
Stopped having after like 19 years old. Don't remember, honest. I feel weak and depressed after fap. The pleasure is only during the act and declared war against it. You have sex haver mindset which you try to disguise as something benign, but deep down under all those lies there sits a small crabbaby that will eventually grow and you'll remember my words but it will be too late.

  No. 7611

>>7610
>had a lot of nervous tension
From not fapping probably, jkjk
>if you are really helpless against your libido
>sex haver mindset
Not at all, Im going to stop rn and report weekly just to prove a point.

You are the one with mindset that has negative effect for some reason.
When it's natural thing, yet makes you sad and depressed.

>crabbaby that will eventually grow

Nah, everything voluntary or I'm just special snowflake.
But honestly cant really distinguish if I'm selfmade liz or just mentally ill from the start.
But I still do not wish to fuck anyone.
Incels make me sick, I will never understand how they can be so sex focused yet clueless or too retarded to just git gud and bang some ogre.

I really enjoy this conversation with you.
I'm open-minded, would love to read more.

  No. 7612

>>7611
>I really enjoy this conversation with you.
Everyone does until they don't anymore. People think I'm joking when I tell them not to get friendly, hardly anyone ever pays proper attention to it. And then one day y'all just need to 'sort your things out' and as far as I'm concerned that takes forever.
>I'm open-minded, would love to read more
Can you really tell me what's this open-minded thing and how exactly it manifests? I too am 'open-minded' so long as the new stuff allows me to get done with shit more quickly, so to say, but there are certain things which just exist as part of my global state or whatever and are not subject to change even though they are seemingly a matter of opinion. I've been alternating between defending fap and nofap for quite a while now and I found it doesn't have anything to do with 'open-mindedness'. It's just my global state that I side with one thing or the other, there are no reasons, no real arguments, just a way thoughts go. I'll probably never explain it properly, but whatever.

  No. 7613

>From not fapping probably, jkjk
I got mad at first, then ate some doughnuts and yeah it's not impossible. I don't know. I remember I used fap as a sort of scheduled recreation, I planned how I'm going to work hard (or hardly work hahaha) and then I'd launch into a long porn watching session. Later got sick of porn (couldn't find anything I haven't seen anymore, lol, and I'm too lazy for private trackers) and switched to fantasies, which were pretty good, but at some point stress got too crippling and I somehow was starting to fap less and less and less and now I'm completely opposed to the idea. Also fantasies are not as reliable as porn, they only work when you're really horny, that is haven't fapped for a week or two maybe. Still better than porn that is a complete disaster for mental health. Anyway I don't really know why I nofap if we're speaking technically. It's now more on spiritual level. I want to try and embrace magic as much as I can so I do nofap as well. Fap reinforces and feeds the sexual desire in you in ways you don't notice until you decrease your fap to one time in several months. After you fap once you want so badly to return to it, and it takes a lot of weeks to stop the insane urges. The urges become easier and completely manageable after some time. Then you get sick or whatever, you mental health fucks up, your will says good night and here you go. Now how am I supposed to be a mage? If a pretty woman works around my insecurities (I'm not repulsive, I suspect some might want to seduce me just for the sake of it, I think they find pleasure in destroying holy virgins, filthy demons! That's mostly delusions though so far no women showed any interest in me, some were nice enough to openly say that's I'm probably gonna remain virgin forever, lmao they were so right) what will I do? I need will that is stronger than the desire. I need magic that can't be dispelled by evil. So basically it's an OCD-like thing, I have a lot of that. I find something that doesn't look right and then launch into fixing it at the expense of my life, all the while it's completely irrelevant to anything. It's the same. I just kinda imagine a possible threat and launch into building a huge castle against an attack that's never coming. So yeah you basically don't even need to read any of that to know that I'm not well in head probably, so I don't know. What were we talking about?
>Not at all, Im going to stop rn and report weekly just to prove a point.
What do you mean?

  No. 7614

>But honestly cant really distinguish if I'm selfmade liz or just mentally ill from the start
Haha took me a while to figure that one out, but I'm not self made certainly. Was the same pussy craving bastard as everyone else back then until slammed my face right into reality. Figured I don't want to be unhappy and miserable, so that implied I can't become crab, now there's no way around it, I must become mage or die until I disgrace myself with crabdom or whatever they call it. I think magic itself is great, but there's something wrong with my head, I feel sick often these days and my nerves are very weak. I don't even get truly stressed anymore I just turn off and go sleeping and let the world burn. Had an important thing going on a few days ago I was so on edge with tension I was shaking literally, even though there were realistically no reasons to be anything but mildly concerned.
>But I still do not wish to fuck anyone.
I'm sure you have somebody to fantasize about. That's where I perceive greatest weakness and breach in magic defenses. I too do not wish to fuck anybody real, because they one way or another interact with my insecurities. Now it's time to get rid of insecurities and have real defenses for a time. Some real freedom, that can't be taken away by fancy manipulation. Those who break through your insecurities necessarily become your vulnerability, you tend to attach to such people for some reason. Now if somebody breaks through defenses, well congratulations you're on quarantine now, let's see how much you're really worth.
>Incels make me sick
Pretty much this. A shame they overtook wizchan

  No. 7615

Damn I feel so embarrassed every time I launch into long posts in this state I'm now. I need AI assistant that will turn my internet off every time evil tries to size my mind again.

  No. 7619

>>7612
>I tell them not to get friendly
Why would you even say that lol
>'sort your things out'
That's what almost everyone is going to tell you since they don't know the answer too.

I'm "open-minded" as I don't hold my beliefs tight and I like to hear opinions of others so I can challenge theirs against mine.
>What do you mean?
Proving that controlling libido doesn't mean shit and that it changes nothing for the better in real world.
Morals are for normies, it doesn't matter to what I crank it or if I don't do it at all.
>>7614
>I was the same pussy craving bastard as everyone else
And you call me crabbaby lol
>I'm sure you have somebody to fantasize about
Nope

  No. 7620

>>7619
>Why would you even say that lol
Honesty.
>That's what almost everyone is going to tell you since they don't know the answer too.
Is it a problem to tell to fuck off? I personally don't find it to be a problem. Fuck off. See? Doesn't hurt.
>Proving that controlling libido doesn't mean shit
Yes it does prove shit. It is a sign of strong willpower and self control. It is when you reject libido not because you're cast out by society, but because you recognize that yielding to it can't give you anything of value and that pleasure is nothing but an intricate sophism.
>it changes nothing for the better in real world
I'm tired of hearing this retarded argument over and over again. I don't give a fuck about your real world. There's me, there's my mind, there's my reason, and there's the Beneficial God that says that my responsibility lies only and only in maintaining the well being of my mind and reason. Fuck off with your real world. Today you say
>Morals are for normies, it doesn't matter to what I crank it or if I don't do it at all.
as an excuse to jerk off, tomorrow you will say it as an excuse to fuck a succubus. Normies have no morals. Morals are only given to those who succeed in embracing magic.
>And you call me crabbaby lol
I didn't, but yes I think that if you don't stop jerking off you won't end up well. The sexual desire will grow, than sexual frustration will be brought to life, and then finally you'll either wake up one day being crab, or druggie or whatever else means of escapism are available to virgins.
>Nope
Yeah and how do you get horny without experiencing any horny thoughts? And if you don't get horny why do you jerk off? Wink me if they hold a gun to the back of your head.

  No. 7621

File: 1718972661886.jpg (100.28 KB ,1290x1574 , GNeUekKXsAAAK-p.jpg_large.jpg )

>>7620
>Yes it does prove shit. It is a sign of strong willpower and self control.
I was only talking about myself proving that it changes nothing for ME because I already have strong willpower and self control.
Will let you know when I fail this challenge.
But if I jizz my pants I'm out haha
>I'm tired of hearing this retarded argument (…)
I was still talking myself and my own real world. Idk how yours looks so I wouldn't write anything like that targeted to you.

>as an excuse to jerk off, tomorrow you will say it as an excuse to fuck a succubus

Idk how to reply to that, I'm not chained to morals nor social norms aka normie norms.
But that doesn't mean that I will magically want to fuck someone lol

>sexual desire

This thing is below me I never had it

>then finally you'll either wake up one day being crab, or druggie or whatever else means of escapism are available to virgins

Lmao no, I would just stand up and get someone to fuck.

>if you don't get horny why do you jerk off?

Because for me it eliminates the need for social interaction. It's like a cheat code against apebrain haha
I was very social person but due to social phobia and panic attacks that I used to have dealing with people was quite exhausting.
I don't have these things anymore and prefer reclusive lifestyle.
That's how I see it.
Well my theory will be tested by lack of masturbation.

If I'm correct, will be posting here more often to meet the social interaction requirements.
If I'm wrong then I will just stop being lazy and live a normie life OR realize that I am incel and it was always about wanting someone to fuck BUT I do not believe that getting some ass is a hard task, so then I would probably turn into banger lmao

What do you think

  No. 7622

>>7621
>I already have strong willpower and self control.
Good for you, then. I don't, so I need to work harder on that.
>This thing is below me I never had it
OK so I don't know how to interpret that, care to elaborate? I can somewhat relate, because throughout adolescence I lost interest in [i]real[/i] people, but that's all. The thing that makes you jizz at night is still there and since it doesn't seem like I can toggle it off, I need to hold the reins at least. I still think some succubi can worm their ways in my life and I don't like that. I'm essentially at war with them, there are absolutely no reasons one of them would want to have anything to do with me, so I'm not about to give them free means of biasing my perception to abuse or manipulate me.
>Lmao no, I would just stand up and get someone to fuck.
Doesn't exactly sound magical, if you take my meaning. Seems like you're virgin for fun or whatever. Wouldn't make sense for you not to jerk off, since you don't plan on staying virgin. Don't relate.
>Because for me it eliminates the need for social interaction.
How exactly? Anyway you're here now interacting with a schizo wtf are you talking about?
>If I'm correct, will be posting here more often to meet the social interaction requirements.
Are you saying you jerk off and then doze off until you wake up and jerk off again or wtf? How exactly does nofap influence your need to socialize?
>I do not believe that getting some ass is a hard task
I'm not exactly competent, because I did literally no research on the subject, since I was never interested in getting laid with anyone I met in my life. I don't know if it's easy. If somebody told me now to seduce a girl or be killed I'd probably just walk out of a window. I simply have absolutely zero understanding about how to approach people, much less females. I mean, young people tend to just kinda randomly make connections but that's absolutely bizzare for me.
>What do you think
I think if you have means of living a conventional life, I don't know why you wouldn't. It's theoretically more comfy and safe. Anyway you don't speak much so I'm kinda low on info. I have a deep conflict in me, that I seem to be interested in benefits of human interaction, but seem to be repulsed to the interaction itself. At least I know I'm neurodivergent lol, kinda puts me at ease. Heh time to spellcast a bit.

  No. 7695

my molars are starting to hurt and i looked with a flashlight and can see cavities in the back ones and wisdom teeth
insuranceless neet so i just kinda have to rock with it til it gets bad enough to sign off
i always knew itd end like this but its weird to have such a clear deadline

  No. 7697

>>7695
start preparing beforehand. one day they just kinda hurt a bit, the next day it's https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intraoral_dental_sinus and you can't open your mount. trust me i've been through this when i was a kid. it just happened over the course of 2 or 3 days. maybe it'll take longer since you're big and old idk

  No. 7698

>mount
mouth*
lol wtf's wrong with me. i wonder if i have dyslexia or i'm just retarded

  No. 7703

Wah waah my autistic brain is one step from sabotaging me again!

  No. 7704

>>7695
>til it gets bad enough to sign off
Dummy lizzy try to get a job.
Don't kys over some rotting bone.
Survival instinct is stronger than you think and now you're just losing time.
Ik what I'm talking about, had to take a loan for rent because I was planning to kms too lol

>>7703
Ah the liz who never gives out any details

  No. 7705

>>7704
>Ah the liz who never gives out any details
It's bad enough that you're everywhere. I don't know if you stalk specifically me but I'm creeped out that wherever I go there's You. Does wonders to my mental health. I really need a break from image boards, but I don't know of any places

  No. 7706

File: 1721145087989.jpg (95.07 KB ,704x907 , FsC_KTRXwAAZHX9~2.jpg )

>>7705
Thanks for confirming that you are the one who is short on descriptions.
Maybe don't do that when you are suspecting someone is stalking you.

>wherever I go there's You

Ah you forgot about our split personality disorder again.
>don't know if you stalk specifically me
Don't be silly we are not an interesting person, nobody would waste their time on us.
Please take your pills

  No. 7707

>>7706
>Thanks for confirming that you are the one who is short on descriptions.
Me? Who am I anyway? And why exactly am I associated with 'that liz who is short on descriptions'. Oh damn it!
>Maybe don't do that when you are suspecting someone is stalking you.
Don't do what exactly? Should I kill myself to get relieved of all these things? I'm trying to be as indiscernible as possible and yet it seems you've got a spy in my head so you don't even need to move a finger to track me down. I've run as far as I could, on the outskirts of existence, where there are almost no people. I haven't been talking to anyone, I have not been paying attention to anyone, I just tried my best to be invisible and here you are. You got to be kidding me.
>Ah you forgot about our split personality disorder again.
So yeah, basically… yeah! It's just unbelievable. Of all places! This is just some stupid fucking joke. BTW why did you rant recently that I don't respond? You haven't written to my INBOX for several months now. Just thought it a bit odd that you complained, that's all. Yeah I didn't reply to that rant, sorry, but really I've got nothing to say. In fact it was quite… unsettling? Not the right word though… Creepy, maybe. I wish I have enough reason to not end up like you. I mean the way you are so desperate for company. Also, I'm not particularly interested in close human interactions anymore. In fact, ever since I've got on my own bread my mood somewhat improved. Intimacy makes your mind weak and bleak. And blind. I haven't figured that one out, but I don't feel like being nice anytime soon. It's flattering that you stalk me, kinda strokes my ego, but you ought to know the thing like no one else. Unfortunately, I hardly find your character appealing… Yeah so I wanted this to be a fun rant but fucked it up, sorry. I don't have a grudge against you, if that's what bothers you. I just can't allow myself to keep imagining things.
>Don't be silly we are not an interesting person, nobody would waste their time on us.
You are not interesting indeed, I'm another matter though. I am totally interesting, just obnoxious beyond endurance, so you know, I kinda piss off myself. Dunno why. I'm the worthwhile one. I'm the great guy. I'm the GODDAMN HERO! And yeah you're right I'm the one who needs to
>Please take your pills

  No. 7709

Lmao I really regret ruining this rant it could be wholesome, but now it's just a schizo meltdown.

  No. 7710

>>7707
Lol I was joking liz, have no idea who are you xdxd

Unless you are from Georgia the country then lemme pat that retarded head but fr tho how silly u have to be

  No. 7711

>>7710
I'm not silly I'm [spolier]retarded[/spoiler]

  No. 7715

I feel cringe. I need to to wipe the fuck out of this thread somehow without breaking rules. Guess I'll have to come up with some woes to wah waah here until at least I don't have to my previous posts. Don't be schizos lizards it's only fun until it isn't.

  No. 7716

Way waah people gaslight me that life isn't miserable, that it is interesting and offers unlimited possibilities and whatnot. All the while the only thing that has ever offered me the goddamn possibilities is my computer with video games. Outside of that digital world of unending adventure it's a world of slavery. But back in the day slaves at least didn't get to experience lack of restrictions, so they could redpill themselves utterly and live a life. I instead feel blackpilled and demotivated. Why?

  No. 7717

>>7715
You're overreacting liz.
My sucidial man on estradiol ramblings were much worse
Chill out

  No. 7720

>>7717
>female sex hormone
'course I'm not as bad as him, I'm not a female and don't take hormones to become one.

  No. 7721

Wah waah I'm again at it. I suspect it's very bad for my mental health, maybe already did tons of irreversible damage. But I can't stop it. I am cold blooded after all. I am not meant to be warm. I use your sun to warm myself only so I can eat its children!

  No. 7726

The day's wah waahed completely. What the fuck am I doing with my life.

  No. 7730

why do i get stressed over trivial things to the point of complete brain shutdown
wtf

  No. 7734

Lets see some bussy, bud

  No. 7765

>>7721
Wdym
>>7730
Same liz, to the point of breakdowns and crying because of stress.
Can't deal with basic existing, no difference if neet or not.
I'm thinking about burning some money on herbs or some nootropic shit.

  No. 7772

File: 1725400211719.jpg (219.97 KB ,707x1000 , 1000_F_270455205_x5nIy7Va6….jpg )

>Nothing interesting in this realm
>Ascends to better one

  No. 7774

I disappeared for a while immersing in playing games, watching anime and reading fantasy, and also wagecucking, but I felt completely sick yesterday and I feel shit today. Mentally. I guess it's this stupid Autumn doing unfunny things to my cold blood. Oh lizard god how I long to stretch under the warm Sun!

  No. 7775

I feel my lizard blood raging deep inside

  No. 7776

Are we slumbering through the cold seasons again, Lizards? Shall we not make a bonfire of non virgins to warm up!?

  No. 7777

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>>7776
>bonfire
It's not that cold yet, I recommend something else
>>7774
Same but just vidya and wagecucking.
Rotting in front of screen then same stuff at home and none of it is fun.
Tiresome existence

  No. 7783

Indian boss offered me contract after 3months of trial for literaly the same amount.
Like what the fuck, I've saved him 9k monthly (not usd obv) and my employment cost is 5k.
Also I raised sales by 20% xd
Dude couldn't even fucking find some change for me I guess.
But he gave me a deal make 100 000 of sales then he is going to give me bonus 500.
Yeah I'm just gonna almost double the sales for this amount, worth it.

Working in e-commerce is shit, it's either long nosed fellas or soul-sucking agency (where you need to have good biz talk) .
Nothing in between.

Words of my previous hindu coworkers about their older generation was right.

/

I hate this life so much, got fucking nothing that would make existing worthwhile.
What a hassle.

How the fuck I'm supposed to live comfortably, it's always the same shit just different flavor.
Constantly on edge between "I can't take it anymore" and tired depressed neutral.

  No. 7795

File: 1727278869960.jpg (67.71 KB ,1000x563 , coloring.jpg )

Cont. >>7783
Lmao so there was no issue getting 13% raise and remote Fridays.
All it took was resigning then renegotiating terms haha

Phone call got me really stressed and I must have sounded like total retard but the final result is what matters.

The pay is a bit below if I were to switch to some other employee but don't want to deal with that crap.
At least Fridays will be comfy

  No. 7797

I was feeling quite good for half of the day then lost all will to live again
Bullshit must fluctuate so the suffering doesn't get old

  No. 7802

Had tears in my eyes because of stressful situation at work, it wasn't even targeted at me but I was asked to help there lmao
There was zero responsibility on me here.

My stress tolerance is only getting weaker,
There was literally 0 progress in 6 years despite trying my best to get used to shit.
Nothing helps.

If it continues to develop like this I'm going to have mental breakdowns because someone looked at me in a weird way!

It's like part of me is out of control.
Even if I look at situation in calm and logical matter which proves there is nothing wrong or to worry about - my body just disregards this info and shows me middle finger.
By doing whatever the fuck it wants, can't even fucking talk normally then.
Voice is too shaky and stuttering.

Healthy diet, lots of movement, dedicated time to wind down each day, enough sleep and no fucking difference.

Losing sanity and control with each day

  No. 7805

>>7802
Liz I relate to this so much I want to scream.

  No. 7807

File: 1728325598865.jpg (21.97 KB ,480x381 , aRwqG7bd_700w_0.jpg )

>>7805
Shit sucks at least there is two of us.
We should change something or many things but I can't figure out what though.

Social phobia in early age caused by mother that betrayed me.
Depersonalization started setting in and being hikikomori made phobia worse.
Then traumatized by father - so whenever I see even slightly upset person I'm going crazy.
All these things forced me to become "actor" and that fully destroyed what I am.
But I forgot who I was even trying to be.

I guess this acting is putting a lot of stress on me.
Okay, then I will just stop and problem solved. But I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHO I AM.
I KNOW MY ILLNESSES! but there is nothing more than that.
That's the only thing that guides me.

There is nothing that I want, making decisions destroys my mental state.
(probably because mother decided/destroyed my life and I can't revert this)

Woah all this venting at least pointed into right direction.
I'm just gonna make choices that are comfortable, no morals, fuck everyone that doesn't have it worse.

Later I will focus on finding myself or creating something that is more fitting.

  No. 7808

File: 1728430899340.png (1.35 MB ,1178x999 , tears in the rain.png )

really feeling like killing myself rn
i fucked up three trainee tests for software development, my dad is treating me like shit, and I am basically 26 years old and got nothign to show for it.
i hate it so much

  No. 7809

>>7808
It's okay Liz if you failed then you most likely have other more troubling and not passing these tests were result of this.

Caused by your parents or things out of your control.

We're guided by past the only freedom we have is how we will experience present time

  No. 7810

My back and knees are starting to hurt yep I'm officially getting old

  No. 7812

File: 1728595765581.png (140.72 KB ,299x420 , Screenshot_20241010-232239….png )

Well that's a first one, won the fight with urge to beat up mother then killing myself.

Great success that I celebrated with beer and extinguishing cig on my wrist

  No. 7813


  No. 7815

File: 1728685843995.jpg (83.39 KB ,766x940 , 2884366288_preview_THE TWI….JPG )

mom told me to stop standing around like a little bitch(faggot was a word but it's lost in translation) and push the car seat.
That's my trigger word and everyone in family knows it.

I lost it and started punching the seat, skin tore on my knuckles and started bleeding.
>was that manly enough?
But she didn't reply and decided to get offended and not talk to me xD (I didn't break shit)

Aaaaaah Lizzies I'm losing it

  No. 7826

>>7815
Liz, rage control.

  No. 7827

>>7826
Imagine I'm still the calmest person in the entire family :d
Got 3 words like that and it's trauma thing I have thanks to father beating me.

I would shrug it off if some random called me that (not like it ever happened).
But own mother that caused all this by her stupidity and knows how it makes me feel?
That's just asking for a show of untamed rage.

Sure she might have had brainfart and said this without thinking.
But she doesn't even use such language, on top of that no one would ever say such shit to any person unless they hate/despise them.
So that was subconscious thing.

My reaction was the opposite of what her word described.
My behavior was adequate to the situation, sometimes you have to correct people's beliefs to not get eaten alive.

  No. 7828

>>7827
Uncontrolled rage only hurts you. Malice must be precise and cold blooded. Emotions get in the way. You need to cool your blood down. Adding upon the pile of hatred thoughtlessly only causes the pile to multiply itself. If you want to be happy liz you must strive to make the pile as small as possible. Hatred is fed from two sides, always. One side is not enough for hatred to persist. If they don't stop, attack precisely and with a purpose. Don't be rage driven cattle. Be lizard.



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