No.
7943
lizzies, i made it
they sent me the contract
i may be employed in the very near future
>>7941turn your boobs into the big boobs
No.
7944
>>7943Don't forget to hire us Mr future Richman
>turn your boobs into the big boobsI know what that is, the question is what does it change for you? *picrel*
No.
7946
>>7944>what does it change for you?big boobie
No.
7948
>>7933I need this version of meme where instead of 'comfortable' it would say 'sociable'. You may find it hard to believe but I let my guards slip two or three weeks ago, and now I caught myself thinking that there are actually people who give a damn about me and that trying to become closer with actually makes sense. Now I am experiencing a major setback into my usual misanthropy. I hate my mind for demanding interaction with others. But I guess even lizards get hungry over time, huh? I'll use them if I must, but no getting close. Not ever close. Being partly human is such a nuisance I hate it.
No.
7949
>>7942.
30 years isn't that much. Bless you.
No.
7950
>>7948>I hate my mind for demanding interaction with othersWarmie
>I guess even lizards get hungry over time, huh?Yes, for food that is
>I'll use them if I must, but no getting closeNice mental gymnastics, you know what you want. Unless you don't then be more self aware
I swear there was rule prohibiting talking about wanting to partake in social activities nor mentioning them here.
It was conjoined with current rule 2 in my mind.
I remember no porn rule being added later.
Ihato did you also make some changes to the codex or I'm just living in my own world and in need of pills.
If it's not the first option then I'm hardcore delusional
No.
7952
Hm I actually don't remember if there are rules against it but I'm too sick now to care. Oh just delete them if you don't like them I want be spamming if I'm now welcome.
No.
7953
Fix: won't be spamming.
Also don't forget I'm a lizard laughing at me does nothing to damage me anymore.
No.
7958
Just so you know by socializing I meant using imageboards 8+ hours a day.
No.
7960
I'm scared and feeling extremely uneasy and at the same time pissed.
Motor and vocal tics, the fuck is going on.
Nothing stressful happened in this week, no clue what's up lol
No.
7961
>>7960Tourette syndrome? People think I'm crazy because of this shit. It's not like I can control it.
No.
7962
>>7959haha gotcha
you loose your tail!
No.
7963
>>7961Hah it's cool that you're still around.
We talked about this crap some time ago.
If I remember correctly yours didn't sound like tourette.
We've got some different shit, I tried to look up what doc diagnosed but no such thing exists xd
The search engines got so bad holy shit.
Need to get rid of this habit and just use LLMs
Posting this image if you want to look up more about it.
But it's not like you can do much against these tics on your own
No.
7964
>>7963I am half crazy so don't get upset, but I don't remember us talking. I don't usually talk about it at all, because it's gross. Nobody knows this syndrome and naming it isn't adding anything to the discussion. Modern fags have their dictionary limited to {'autistic', 'schizo'}, so bringing up some real stuff puts you at a disadvantage.
But my tics are real Tourette. I don't experience them know thankfully, but just a few month ago it went so crazy I was literally avoiding people lest somebody sees how I can't stop contorting my face and half my body. At least my vocal tics are not that loud. Actually, the only reason I'm not diagnosed is because I asked the therapist to please not confirm the diagnosis and then never visited them again.
Your screenshot is interesting, I'll look it up. Anyway is it bad for you? Are tics severe? I hope it doesn't get in the way of your life too much.
No.
7965
Wish me luck. I ride towards another wasted weekends to spend time with another set of two legged beings I hate wholeheartedly and sincerely. I can't help fantasizing about killing them but unfortunately it won't help me get food. Just another thing to suffer through. Did it a billion times before. Should be able to withstand it this time as well.
No.
7968
Man I'm completely tired out. No powah whatsoever. Need to recuperate asap.
No.
7969
I fall asleep standing. Weekends. Sweet. Juicy. Yeaa
No.
7972
Same here, 10 hours of sleep 3 days in a row.
I think tonight will be the same lol
No.
7973
>>7964>because it's grossFor me they're proof of destroyed mind, proudly wearing this badge because I knew that it's going to happen but I still fought against it.
>bringing up some real stuff puts you at a disadvantage.This crap is impossible for me to hide so I'm already at disadvantage hahaha
I have to explain this stuff because mine mimic gesture that can be interpreted as "come look at this", "this fucking fly is bothering me",
"nyah my feline ears are itchy"That's most common one, the second one is raising hand as if I was in classroom wanting to speak something. This one has huge autistic energy lol
Like "um please I want to add something to this conversation"
Oh yeah when it comes to face movement I close left eye then sweep my long cat ear to cover it.
It sounds so retarded ik but I don't think there is any better way to visualize it.
>my tics are realThey for sure are, probably not tourette but tic is a tic. I completely understand why you would hide when they're apparent.
Mine happen so often that I just had to accept this.
>my vocal tics are not that loudSame here when it comes noises, thankfully they happen when no one can hear
BUT in conversation sometimes "hello?" goes between words.
Funny thing is that it's in totally different voice as if scared child said this to make sure there is no one in dark spooky room waiting.
No.
7975
Losing it*
I've spent way too much time writing this, that would explain the terrible mood - all this in my head without outlet rotting inside.
Tomorrow I better be feeling fine
No.
7976
> when I have to make a choice I'm immediately suicidal lol
Liz that's so relatable. I don't have BPD but living constantly stressed, in the past six to ten months I have killed my ego. I really don't feel like an integer person, or a person at all. I feel like a mind trapped in a body. This is so weird I can't explain. The side effect of this is that I stopped giving a shit. Immediate survival is the only thing that still bothers me. I am completely unable to think even three days ahead. I just go with the flow. Also maintaining a character is a constant effort. Always has been. If I don't keep myself in check I just begin sperging out and people have to tell me to fuck off because otherwise I'm going to unload my crap on them until my mine goes blank. The problem with it isn't just the unholy amount of verbal or textual spam I generate, but how I completely change my attitude, point of view and manner of speech in a course of a single fucking day. People just can't get over me behaving like another human being the next day. It's very irritating and I am gradually working up my skill to keep my mouth shut and to avoid unnecessary interaction. This still happens once in a while though.
But lately I've begun to accept that I simply don't have any ego and this a very liberating feeling. Why would I give a shit? It is almost like epiphany. Why caring if it's not me anyway? I personally don't give a shit about anything, it is the other "presence" in me that spurs "humanly" behavior. If it wants to behave like this or like that, why in the world would I care? I only care about some safety precautions, avoiding immediate harm and avoiding provoking unnecessary potential harm. As for the rest, I don't give a shit what that other person in me does. Even this post is mostly written by that other person, since I don't see much point in talking about it.
Not sure how to answer the rest, maybe later. Good luck liz. May the fortune be on your side.
No.
7980
>>7976Haha what the heck, this exactly sounds like me but dialed down a bit.
>I just begin sperging outIt sometimes happens to me then it's shitload of info how much existing pains me.
My logical thinking turns off - expecting someone to fix me in a second.
>I've begun to accept that I simply don't have any ego and this a very liberating feelingThat's the opposite of my thought.
At first I was like that but my mind is too desperated and is constantly trying to latch onto something/someone but it always changes the next day.
I'm happy that we have similar thing going on and it's not excruciating for ya.
Thank you for reply, I wish the best to you too
No.
7982
>>7980>constantly trying to latch onto something/someone but it always changes the next day.Yeah that's the difference between us. I hate defending on others and I'm unhappy that I have to. In my ideal world I am completely independent of other and can just do my own shit privately forever.
No.
7983
>defendent
Sometimes careless usage of auto complete has funny results. Gotta embed PC in my bed to avoid phone posting.
No.
8006
>>7982>that's the difference between usSo I'm the cooler one!
My tics got worse, falling asleep is hard because they happen like every few seconds.
It screws up something because I start dreaming without actually falling asleep fully. Not hypnagogia though.
Stress is killing me and there is nothing to stress about
No.
8011
>>8006>falling asleep is hard because they happen like every few seconds>falling asleep is hardThere is no limit to how much I can rant about it. No my tics never got in the way of sleeping. Instead, I am fucking devastated by anxiety lately. I have absolutely no fucking idea what's the source, but it kills me from inside. I want to go sleep to finally get my share of god damn rest to be able to think at least A FUCKING BIT, maybe because I am FUCKING TIRED OF BEING STUPID AND SLEEPY, but no, each time I try to go to sleep early this anxiety kicks in and puts me in impenetrable misery and mind searing agony. I end up thrashing on my bed like some soulless husk until I am too tired to keep my eyes open and then I finally fall asleep. The worst part of this is that I KEEP FUCKING WAKING UP, each time, each day, each morning or whatever time of the day, I FUCKING WAKE UP AGAIN to repeat this cycle of meaningless unwarranted torture. I lost the count of days, but it has been like this for more than a month at least and it has started… I don't have any idea when it started, perhaps closer to end of the summer or whatever, but it was still somehow tolerable, but somewhere around a month ago, maybe a week or two earlier, there was a SUDDEN DROP, like I was split in two and everything just toppled down. There isn't a single day that I don't have random impulses to slit my own throat and end this for good. I can't see any meaning to this. I see no point to 'just go on bro, dont give up bro' bullshit as well, it makes no sense. What the fuck am I doing in this god forsaken world? Holy Raptor…
No.
8012
Remembered a melody, triggered OCD, can't remember/find the actual sound track. I'm on brink of despair
No.
8013
Omfg writing on phone and pasted shit instead of copying it, lost whole message lmfao.
It took so long write.
>>8011So in short:
1. order some sleeping pills lizza
2. rel rel rel
3. you have to make sense or find it in something
-
I was going to cut myself but my mind reminded me that this shit doesn't help with suffering and is just messy.
So I bought alcohol for the weekend.
Prob gonna order some harder stuff tomorrow when I sober up, or diy psychiatrist drugs.
Got no hope at all but I've still got 554 days before I kill myself, so that's quite some time to figure stuff out.
After trying diy prescriptions, I will get therapy, after therapy I might as well throw away my lizardence and see what people see in love.
Can't Rel at all and on top of that im asexual but it doesn't really matter if you die Liz or not.
But heck might as well try, I'm not a failed normie and could get it whenever I wanted it but, I see no point in it nor pleasure.
So that will be literally last thing I try, finding a soulmate lol
So drunk I can't walk straight, SWAG!
alcohol is so lame, I already broke my code by buying this shit but I don't see any meaning in self preservation that's why I went for it. I don't drink at all
No.
8015
>>8013>order some sleeping pills lizza Yeah been thinking about it for a while, sleeping pills that hopefully make you sleep an eternity
>Got no hope at all but I've still got 554 days before I kill myself, so that's quite some time to figure stuff out.I hope you do figure it out, it is unfair that the most superior race on earth has to suffer such ridiculous bullshit
No.
8016
>>8015>that hopefully make you sleep an eternityHaha sleeping for eternity is optimistic approach, I hope it's like that.
Before making your last order you might as well get some junkie shit tried out, ofc first starting with therapeutic stuff in safe dosages then some real crap.
Go for ket, lsd, mdma, mushrooms but don't just ingest it like a retard, read stuff how it's used in alternative therapy and educate yourself.
>hope you do figure it outThanks, how about we go on therapy and be put on some jewpills?
I've already tried but could try this again tho only if you're in.
If you've got any other recommendations, let's do it together then.
Got nothing going on and I need a leader haha
AAAAAA AAA.
Mmm the feeling of sobering up from alcohol is terrible. Coming back to reality is so quick, at least other shit changes perception for longer. What a waste
No.
8020
>>8016>Got nothing going on and I need a leaderI wish you knew how paranoid I am about therapists and their pills
No.
8031
Woof woof! D-don't give up, goshojin sama! Woof!
No.
8034
>>8031nvm, I already gave up on this idea and just want to die.
I'm never going to find anything that sticks, can not ressurect myself no matter what.
Endless search for something that could live in this body.
No.
8036
Cont.
>>8034Nevermind! My mother forced me to piss outside again lol
Didn't bother to ask before taking bathtub then when I was begging also nope.
Had to go outside like a good boi.
Now my language will be limited to barking and woofing.
We're are so back
No.
8037
>piss outside
Just what exactly do you mean
>Now my language will be limited to barking and woofing.
Woof woof!
>Endless search for something that could live in this body
I was about to ask if you aren't too obsessed but then haha you get it right?
Sadly knowing how mental illness is from the inside it is likely you can't resurrect yourself because you brain doesn't allow you. To most people persistence comes naturally or whatever, or they learn to cope naturally, idk when your head is a mess trying isn't very helpful because your brain still ends up undermining all your effort and dumping you back into the sewers of mental agony
No.
8041
>>8037>piss outside >>piss outside
>Woof woofIndeed
>too obsessed Yes
>you can't resurrect yourself Yes
I was once a liz while I still am one, but my drive has been wiped.
Dependent personality disorder is the most fucking gay sickness there is, dysphoria got nothing on this shit.
>copePup found aromantic Owner
Fuck this piece of shit world that made retarded
This will end sooner or later then I can just die. Fucking shithole where you can decide for yourself only at 18.
Was smarter than these cunts that raised me.
Fucked up life for me and all I could do was experiencing rot and suffering.
Liz brain fucked to the point of becoming warm. This is some bullshit joke scenario , I'm ashamed of everything, signing out
