No.
7600
>>>seriously applying for a job today. >Previously I wasn't taking it
>seriously
Good good now I seriously have some brain damage. Previously my previous healthy brain was making things too hard, seriously guys
No.
7604
There is a certain tradeoff between life and death. When you are alive and thriving you are infested with normal people and die at their hands. They'll never notice, just go on to feed off something else. When you are slightly ill, you attract certain kinds of insects that carry retardation. They mingle with normal people, but are at the same time incompatible, turning you into incomprehensible mess of normalcy and nihilism. When you are morbid crabs come into play to chew your rotten flesh. And only when you're dead are you finally left the fuck alone.
No.
7617
>>7606Imaginary friends are just a way to cripple your mind. What is more robust is magic. It gives you a universal support that does not fail anywhere. In any circumstances, in any predicament, you turn your soul to magic and flow on its generous torrents. Nothing is a hindrance to you. Waifus and tulpas are just a way to be in denial, to conceal and mutilate your desires of intimacy into schizophrenic delusion. Not like magic at all. For he who wields magic knows that things are given and taken by the Universal Order as is necessary for the proper operation of the whole. As such a mage doesn't need anything except his spells of wisdom. And if intimacy is not granted to him, he will rather die fighting against the Evil God than yield to negative disposition. Always remember that magic springs from the Beneficial God, as such it is the only substance that never fails to aid you in this struggle against vice.
No.
7618
>>7617Yeah that did not work for me.
This brain is too warm, gonna stay with my midget.
No.
7628
>>7626Are you on the Autism spectrum? Sorry if I'm assuming, but it's only to say that the recruiter was being a bit intolerant if you were. What he said didn't sound very helpful, but it's not like I expect him to have the qualifications to help anyways.
No.
7629
>>7628Head doctors were saying that I should get tested.
Normal people ask me if I'm autistic.
Communicating with aspies felt like the most natural way of contact and they were saying that I'm not like others.
Parents didn't bother to check me and it would be pricy to do now.
I'm definetely not autistic.
No.
7631
Work 8, sleep 8. The rest dissappears in like 2 hours top.
I forgot how it feels to wageslave.
No.
7644
My weight is precisely 69 kilos
No.
7646
>>7644mine is 120
lol, i could crush you like a turtie
No.
7668
Things have been going well, lately. I've been cooking more, so I have a lot more energy. More energy means easier cooking, which means MORE energy. More energy also means doing more things and getting tired earlier, which means a better sleep schedule, which means MORE ENERGY. It won't last forever at all, but I hope this post finds me in the future and I remember that cooking my own meals makes me better off.
No.
7669
>>7668What drugs are you on
No.
7670
>>7669Carbohydrates, really. I try to eat a lot of beans and vegetables.
No.
7672
Turns out Forest Anon inseminated a girl. I didn't even know he had a partner. How could one even expect it when the guy's living in the woods 24/7? Crazy. The post of him showing the actual fetus is two months old, so the kid will be born in December at the earliest.
No.
7673
>>7672Could you please not bring those things up? Thanks
No.
7684
>>7672I hope you envy him and suffer, Wizard.
No.
7685
>>7684Why would I? It's not my ideal life. I don't even want a kid or partner. Sorry if it offended you or anyone else. I'm just reporting something I found (frankly) astonishing. He's been mentioned on Wizchan a few times, so I assumed some people on Lizchan would wonder about him. I personally, was wondering where he was. I guess I know now.
No.
7687
>>7685>mentioned on Wizchan a few times, so I assumed some people on Lizchan would wonder about himNot him but isn't there like only one person here interested in wizchan lol
No.
7688
>>7687I more assumed that people here were originally from wizchan. Still, it was quite a long time ago since he was mentioned. I can't even remember when. Maybe I'm chasing phantoms?
No.
7690
>>7688Yes people here are from wizchan and they are here exactly because wizchan has bow become crabchan and has nothing to do with either wizardry or virgin culture. The key word is culture. What you have on wizchan is the opposite of culture.
No.
7692
>>7691I am not mentally sound but if you want you can create a thread somewhere and if I manage to squeeze some energy out of my ongoing breakdown I'll talk with you.
No.
7713
>>7712Lucky for you. Looking young is nice. I have hair all over my face and I just can't care to do anything about it. I also figured that if I don't shave it doesn't grow. Unfortunately I have shaved before around chin and a bit to cheeks so there's a lot of stupid hair there, but the rest is just some soft growth. I look a bit monstrous because of it. Recently seen a guy with the same condition and was disgusted. Then remembered I'm the same. Good thing actually. Makes people think twice before speaking to me. Perfect. I dislike people. But if I shave I look like a child lmao.
No.
7714
Some huge fatass pig is sitting in their car with engine on for over an hour.
It's too hot to close the window and it's too loud to sleep.
I should have bought some stoppers.
If I was American with a gun I would shoot this fucker into both knees, watch him cry then finish him off. Then myself
Situations like these make me want to start taking steroids and drugs while keeping the place nice and quiet.
One day, one day.
It is certain that I'm not gonna leave without making some change for the better
No.
7722
Lmao I love this quote
>Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you
No.
7723
blood in my veins is deathly cold
the fiercest ice will tremble and melt
as i ruthlessly continue to mold
your doom, as i strengthen my pelt
my wings shall spread, wider than Asgard
mortals shall fall, their corpse mutilated
bow down in terror, for i am a Lizard
behold my power, quintessence of hatred!
No.
7724
another way to write the last verse could be
my wings shall spread, wider than Asgard
mortals shall fall, their corpse mutilated
behold my power, the power of Lizard
i am the terror, i am the hatred!
i like this one more tbh
No.
7725
hideous dominance of wicked blood
engulfs your world, so full of food
tasty warm bloods, we're playing a game
i am the hunter and you are the prey
in the dark corners i shall thrive
in the midst of the carnage i shall live
screams of agony my music of joy
cries of despair my lovely toy
life force dwindles, you numbly gasp
splay of your bowels is last
of the thing you'll see
my claws! my claws know not mercy!
conquer! conquer, devastate and dance
on their gods and flimsy suns
on their wishes and hopes
sneering at their hateful vows
remember, all hatred belongs to me
and to you belongs to flee
to flee me!
murderous tyrant, i feast on your flesh
exultant, i cut and slash
swinging my tail to break your bones
devouring you right after your sons
cheer up human rats and greet your bane
despair and let me reap your grain
i'll stomp it in ground and spit upon
of your desecration i'll make me a crown
and with the end of the world withing my reach
i feast as the strongest Leech
on callous cruelty gently i lean
in raucous voice i yell that i win, i win
conquer! conquer, devastate and dance
on their gods and flimsy suns
on their wishes and hopes
sneering at their hateful vows
their ruin turn into your paradise
their stinky warmth in the beautiful ice
such beautiful ice!
No.
7739
Pretty bruh day to be honest. Also I noticed when I go outside I immediately overly focus on internal thoughts, ignoring everything around as much as possible. Feels strange. As if my imagination is somehow more real.
No.
7741
WAKE THE FUCK UP LIZARDS! IT'S TIME TO SLE-E-E-E-E-E-P!!!!
No.
7742
on dreary landscapes of violent gore
i work through my days to forge my lore
denying weakness and denying light
bound by the oath to reptilian might!
No.
7743
>>7741HELL YEAH LIZZA! THAT'S WHY I HAVE MANY ALARMS SO I CAN GET SOME 5MIN SLE-EEEPS
No.
7744
>>7743lmao. i generally have two kinds of mental alarms. one is when i know i have to wake the fuck up in a very unusual time, so usually i wake up just alright. the other type is when waking up is mundane. then i set it 30-60 mins before i have to actually wake up and then just delay them successively until i know i'm doomed to open my eyes.
are you in a similar position?
No.
7745
>>7744I also have two types and every is painful.
1st I'm gonna wake up at 6:30
That will send me to bed early
never happened2nd consists a lot of alarms that go after each other randomly with breaks between 5-10-15 mins.
Mostly 5s and I still manage to squeeze in some sleep in that short time.
>until i know i'm doomed to open my eyes.Same, that's why I'm late 10-25mins.
It's always like that.
Unless mommy wakes my grown-up assGoing back to sleep and falling when really tired is the best feeling ever.
No drug or accomplishment (not that I have any) comes close to that.
No.
7747
…Could have 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Instead I screw with my clock.
You can call it sleep edging
No.
7750
I'll be dead by evening. Unfortunately not literally.
No.
7755
>>7753What's yours? Mine is kebab
No.
7758
>>7755Southern (US) food. It was cube steak with white pepper gravy and collard greens
No.
7763
Been a while. So since I'm here hark ye lizkids my speech of truth unbound! To survive you have to work, but having to work makes survival purposeless. It's an ultimate checkmate. How do these normalfags live their lives happily while slaving away day after day? It's so sweet to neet through life you can relax with books, games and anime when you feel like it and then plunge back into some fun things to do with your pc or whatever. This shit beats the daylight out of me.
No.
7766
>huge discount on average quality beer
>buys 16
>slowly sipping 1 with water from time to time
>gets headache
No.
7781
Glad to see lizards still alive.
No.
7782
I had a strangest dream. First I illegally got into someone's flat and killed the owner, installed linux on their laptop and started developing some software on it. Then I decided to get into the next flat and rape its owner, but I was constantly delayed by some people. I was very angry but it never got to unleashing my sky breaker. And then I was building a huge bath in a very aggressive and dangerous environment. I had a few friends with me. Somebody tried to bully us for doing monkey's job and we beat them badly. They ran away crying and cursing. Somehow these were the most pleasant dreams in quite a while.
No.
7784
This month I've been getting more comunication from HHRR.
Hopefully I get a job and my dad has to do less hard work, it isn't fair for him tbqh.
No.
7785
>>7784Good luck liz
I quit mine today, may we find something decent
No.
7786
How do we solve the GOTIS (Girl on the internet syndrome) pandemic?
Seems like almost all corners for incels got cornered by retarded roastoids. I hate it.
No.
7787
>Girl on the internet syndrome
What's this?
No.
7788
>>7786>How do we solve the GOTIS You need to become girly boy on the internet and kill the competition.
Dude what's the point of browsing the Incelnet?
<-comedy goldAren't you going to become even bigger one by doing this?
Why would you do that?
Just git gud and bang some chick if that's what you desire and leave this site afterwards.
Don't sink in it.
But honestly
>How do we solve the GOTISIf you stop acting like incel there will be less breeding ground for attention whores and problem is solved.
I hate your kind so much that I would sacrifice my lizdom to make it disappear, no homo
No.
7790
>>7788I genuinely don't understand what you're talking about, I'm just sick of roastoids ruining internet communities with their shitty posts.
Sincerely, I wish they were all dead, but humanity would die with that so, what the hell
No.
7791
>>7790Males have always been largely preoccupied with females, rendering the latter more or less the only point of their existence, thus letting themselves be enslaved by and subjected to transient pleasure and mundaneness of fake non-lonely existence. If you but have a feeling towards them, you're one of them. Hating them means thinking about them, be preoccupied by them and thus be one of them. The only way out of suffering is becoming a lizard. And that implies removing all and every feeling and desire pertaining to males, females and their relationship. Their existence and superiority are a fact. You accept it and just wait for sun to warm your cold blood. That said, all solutions are within. This is the way of lizards. If you can't begin to comprehend the depths of the saying "know thyself", though, you should probably return to wizchan and be bitter about "roastoids" there.
No.
7794
>>7791>If you but have a feeling towards them, you're one of them. Hating them means thinking about them, be preoccupied by them and thus be one of them. Counterpoint: I wouldn't even think about things as disgusting as womeme if they didn't permeate good communities in the internet.
No.
7796
>>7794You sound like your desires need cleansing. Lizardize yourself more thoroughly. We must win somehow.
No.
7798
Oh my Great Lizards, these high pitched voices of children drive me crazy. I want to drink up their light forsaken blood and dump their skins in the deepest depths of the damn hell.
No.
7849
There is some inexplicable charm to abandoned places. People are truly a bloat.
No.
7855
i hope this charge of post nut clarity is enough to finish at least something otherwise my adhd or whatever the fuck it is is gonna kill me brutally. i don't think it's adhd tbh, i can't be ill xDD i think it's something simpler but since i can't fix it anyway, why not label it as per modern trend
yes i'm retarded, likely at least
No.
7856
>>7855Hmmm wouldn't getting shit done first be more rewarding and motivating?
I think you're using your spells in wrong order lizza
>think it's something simpler but since i can't fix itTry to get yourself checked, that would show you the ways to at least find some methods that could help
Things are going to stay the same or get worse for sure if you don't act on it.
+it's easier to die if you tried all the possible methods to help yourself
No.
7857
>>7856>Hmmm wouldn't getting shit done first be more rewarding and motivating?the shit's been playing on my nerves like some fucking Beethoven or whatever, I DO NOT GET MOTIVATED FROM DOING THIS BORING STUPID FUCKING REPETITIVE BULLSHIT, it's been driving me crazy for years now, i think i need a change but i've grown incapable of accepting the reality outside so yeah whatever
i can't even fucking sleep like a normal lizard
it's driving me nuts the tension is insane every time i have to do this fucking shit again i feel like i'm sitting on fucking needles, I JUST CAN'T KEEP GOING
picrel is me making a lasagna with the BLOOD OF THEIR FUCKING CHILDREN
No.
7860
>>7857>I DO NOT GET MOTIVATED FROM DOING THIS BORING STUPID FUCKING REPETITIVE BULLSHITHaha that's literaly my view on life
>i can't even fucking sleep like a normal lizardBeen there, I always had to got myself to state where I was literaly falling asleep standing because otherwise my thoughts would torment me
>with the BLOOD OF THEIR FUCKING CHILDRENloled
>clever therapists or whatever probably can untangle thisYeah therapist would be the most reliable thing.
Other than that self-observation and reflection, like journal or some shit - I was doing it in my head and that helped me understand why I am and act like this.
Then it's easier to work with therapist /or even chatgpt to get yourself to know better (not great but sometimes it can show you the direction or make your behaviour look less crazy)
>FROM HUMANS? GO FUCK YOURSELFI get it but unfortunately some problems can not be solved or explored solo.
What helped me open up was seeing them as tools, sure some might be dull but every opinion outside of your head has some worth as it can help you understand reality better - you don't have to agree (most will be dumb but in such cases it shows you that others are also limited beings, I often get jellous of their stupidity)
You are bothered by own issues for a long time and external help is needed.
If you were able to handle it solo then you would have already fixed this (the pain would already motivated you).
Or perhaps not, maybe you need more suffering but that's just too risky to wait for the answer to reveal itself.
You are not going to get used to the feelings that trouble you.
It will only get worse and make you lose sanity
No.
7861
Lol "flood detected" had to change device
a. I signed up for the cheapest with the highest review score - will see how it goes tomorrow!
b. fuck it, yolo. You don't have to trust anyone, we are just money for them, I mean clients, um patients!
c. ask parents/get some part-time job - I get how hard and harmful that may be for you but it's still not worse than doing nothing about it and continuing to be in your current state.
I've gained two additional mental disorders from forcing myself to work when I was not ready but hey it's better than being hobo.
Pointing this out so it so I don't sound like git gud bro.
>can't even do that i am so mentally wrecked i'm not even up to killing myself because lol why i'll die eventually anywayBeen there but it gets worse, my subconsciousness gained their own voice and started tormenting + giving me very unpleasant visions.
It sounds cool when I write haha but that's really fucked up thing and sadly there is nothing good about it. Can't reason with it nor control it, annoying little shit that will make sure you spiral down even harder so it can die with you.
>didn't finish shitSame, I can't bring myself to finish anything for a few weeks already. Tried organizing stuff in drawers so everything is out and it's even worse before I started.
At least I have enough motivation to keep the room free of any stuff that might start to stink.
>>7858Hnghhhh this pic is so cute and the color scheme is beautiful.
No.
7862
Cont of
>>7860 >>7861
Ligga act up, I don't want you to get worse and suffer any longer.
I didn't fix any of my shit yet - taking first steps.
Still suicidal and nothing really changed but I'm fed up with prolonging my life any longer and being on egde of quiting.
Gave myself deadline of 18months, already wasted 5.
Can't imagine myself making it that far, wanna join me in this journey?
No.
7863
thank you liz i don't know what to answer though, head empty. i rage quit yesterday again, digging even a deeper grave for myself. escapism goes rampant
No.
7864
Shieeet got diagnosed borderline.
There are 9 types of personality and I've got a mix
>>7863All good, take care
No.
7865
>>7864what's the implication of being bpd?
No.
7868
>>7865Hell, there is no me in me. My persona got obliterated. No sense of self.
I'm basically a corpse that can be molded like play-doh by other people, guided by fear and what people say to me.
Whole viewpoint and "personality" (that I don't even have) can change in a second
"I" am literally fucking dead.
Basically I was in such pain that my brain decided that the best decision is fucking wiping the drive clear.
I'm never going to be able to recover the person that was living in this body and controlling it.
Now there are just instincts left and other's opinions to guide.
And not like I can even count on these because I might just go crazy and do the opposite.
She said that I have mix of borderline personalities (there is probably one or two more mixed in but I will know on Friday):
Avoidant Personality Disorder – Marked by extreme sensitivity to criticism and rejection, leading to avoidance of social situations and close relationships.
Dependent Personality Disorder – Characterized by a strong need to depend on others, a fear of separation, and allowing others to make decisions for them."
Like Ligga what the fuck is this bullshit, those are the opposites.
+don't forget that's not who I was, that's just shit brain made up.
OKAY SO WHAT'S THE POINT OF FORCING MYSELF TO LIVE IF I DON'T EVEN EXIST
Fucking tortures
No.
7869
>>7868I feel for you but can't relate to the symptoms. I'm not exactly in the state of mind when I can lucidly judge about my perception of the world. The only consistent trait about myself is lack of interest in others. I soft of half live in my day-dream-world and it's been like this since early adolescence. That's all I can say for sure. Everything else would be just some sort of a delusion.
No.
7878
Ahaha my parents really think I need a "real woman". How can't these boomers realize how vast is difference between 2D goddesses and 3DPD, beats me.
No.
7887
>>7878Is your Waifu moody and stinky? Yeah, that's what I thought.
You're missing out son, breed so your mother and I don't feel guilty, please :c
No.
7888
>>7887My waifu is consummate, embodiment of pureness and beauty.
>You're missing out sonIt isn't my fault you fucked each other to have fun raising an offspring, you've brought me into a world where gap between imaginary and real is as vast and ever and then gave me a mind that grasped onto beauty and body that stuck to muck. Now I have to live a life of watching beautiful heavens above while trodden by filthy pigs. You Have Fucked For Pleasure Now Pay For This Shit
No.
7894
AAAAAAAAAGRRRRRRHHHHHH
LET MY BLOOD BOIL AND DEVOUR THIS FILTHY ABOMINABLE WORLD!!!
I feel so sick of this pathetic existence I'm trapped into. Even nice things make me suffer because they're so fleeting.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGRRRRRHHHHHHH
LET THE WORLD BURN
No.
7918
How do I distinguish between dyslexia, ADHD and simple inattention when reading/writing?
No.
7924
Hmm it's somewhat late night right now and I feel madness creeping in on me!
No.
7925
Man the Mario movie sucks
If you were to take all the references out of it, you'd have no story whatsoever.
At least the Sonic movie has more coherence, and an actual story.
No.
7926
Sunday. My quiet neighbors woke me up. Then they wonder why I have murderous ideations.
No.
7971
This site will not die. As long as live (haha won't be too long sorry) I will always come here to curse warm bloods if nothing else.
Just imagine somebody coming here and seeing 1000+ posts about WARM BLOOD HATRED. Hilarious!
Raise your tail and swing,
Break their skulls and limbs,
Drink their blood and sing,
Claw these filthy simps!
Spread your wings so wide,
Obliterate away the light,
Fly across this bloodshot sky,
Crush them with your might!
Lizard in disguise,
Hunts for their cheers,
Walks among the mice,
Cackling at their mirth!
And when he lifts the veil,
He drowns the world in sorrow,
Who doubts that he'll prevail,
Who still expects tomorrow?
No.
7977
3C / 37F i don't have any winter clothes.
Pls global warming delete winter I don't want to spend money
No.
7978
So I stay awake half the night because I'm retarded, then sleep through half of the day, essentially ruining the remnants of my life. And when I have to go to work I wake up early without having sleep and end up being useless. This is all shit. Late stage capitalism, wtf. I should be able to just stay at home without having to work and still be able to buy goods. Why do all money have to be spent on wars instead of living leisurely? Fucking morons
No.
7979
>>7978I stay awake mostly because I feel too shitty to fall asleep. Sometimes because I don't feel too bad so I need to experience this fleeting feeling.
But everyday after waking up all that matters in this moment is going back to sleep and later committing suicide.
No.
7984
Meanwhile I still can't fucking sleep. I got a good day's sleep and now my brain fucks around with me again. It doesn't let me get on a stable track.
Lizardly Night covers the sky,
Lizardly Wing commences the fight,
Lizardly tongue spreads the lie,
That warm bloods can save their light!
Come, come, leave your hides,
Leave your shacks and fears behind,
Come, come, call the sunrise,
Believe that you are not blind!
And the hour comes under pale moon,
In the dead of the night we open the gate,
We break the seal and draw the rune,
And their hopes we crush with our hate!
Run, run, faster than shadows,
But you will never be fast enough,
Run, run, torn by our claws,
Beg us for mercy, but we will only laugh.
No.
7985
Laughing at the face of creator,
I head to spill their blood,
I'm gonna rape the refrigerator,
I need to cook some food :(
:DDD
No.
7987
>>7986There are no cages for lizards,
There is nothing for them to fear,
And each day they yell from their hearts,
"Go away with your pedo bear!"
:D
No.
7988
>>7987>no cages for lizardsI've seen enough, nothing interesting.
Might as well be caged pet, certainly better life than whatever this is.
No.
7989
>>7988C'mon liz show me spirit!
No.
7990
Laying in my burrow right now. Casting spells. I shall not loose. God bless.
No.
8019
Hmm that makes me wonder how lizards deal love unto each other. Do the rub tails or whatever, lmao?
No.
8021
>>8019Like this
Our numbers are low, I suggest mandatory handholding to combat this
No.
8022
>>8021Yeaah lets grub Ihato he's experienced running the site I'm sure he'll agree to run some mini-lizs as well ahaha
No.
8033
I was a bit less miserable today hooray!
No.
8068
>>8067Everything depends on your cost of living and buying power
Not sure if you don't understand that or just want to flex
No.
8069
>>8068I just got no idea how much is a lot or how much is too little. I originally though 800 for another job was a lot, but now I just got no idea
No.
8073
Decided to read this thread but it's full of my rambling so I backed out. Terminal onlineness lol
No.
8075
>>8074Your ramblings don't give me pain. Mine do.
No.
8082
>>8079Subjective experiences tend to be exaggerated. Plus I'm a retard. Also school taught me to be a poser to lighten or prevent harassment and I never went out of this retarded habit. When you exaggerate things arbitrarily it might end up being funny so they won't have to dedicate their day to making your life miserable. You know what I mean. I didn't known of healthier ways back then.
No.
8175
Damn I just woke up but anxiety and existential horrors are already creeping in. I wonder how much effort it will take to actually get out of my bed. I feel very dull, like I'm already dead but still afraid to be "separated" from the body or whatever
No.
8178
Wish I got some brain as well I hate to repost the same thing 999 times because there's either a typo or my dumb ass clicked to reply a wrong thread. Why am I so stupid
No.
8179
>there's either a type
Guess what? I meant 'typo'. There's going to be no paradise for me
No.
8186
>>8185The ramblings of a mad man.
No.
8187
>>8186I dare you. I'm as sane as Buddha
No.
8188
>>8187Dare me what? I'm mentally insane I think for the most part.
No.
8189
>>8188>insaneInsanity is just a label for enlightenment. Hail Raptor, don't heed the wailing of worms.
No.
8191
Speaking of enlightenment, it's either just a good day, hopefully, or I am about to take another turn in my cyclothymia (just a label I'm not diagnosed). If it's the latter I might need to cut my internet wire for while. This rush of directionless energy overflowing is insane. I can't use but I feel like burning alive. Can't explain. There's just too much to put in words
No.
8193
How many times will reality slap my face before I fucking break? God pass down some copium to me.
No.
8194
It was just a good day after all. Sometimes happens when you're depressed. You just suddenly start feeling good. Fortunately life immediately fixed that. Imagine having a stressless week in a row, start feeling good and then be crushed again. Can't remember just how many times I've been through this. God at least let me find some music. I don't know what to do. I'm fucked in every way and there is nothing I can do. I wish I wasn't god damn cripple
No.
8196
Actually it all boils down to not wanting to die. Fix that and I'm all right. Just gimme rope
No.
8197
>>8196>>8194I enjoy your posts anon. Keep posting.
No.
8199
>>8197>Keep postingHow do you find will to struggle on a sinking ship and does it make sense at all? I sketched my situation right now and considering how I can't recuperate and make an effort, I am now fucked. I could do something about it if I started a few weeks earlier but I couldn't pull myself together then, and I can't do it now.
I was never ready for such life. And even putting aside complaints, there is inherently no point. I'm just set up for an empty purposeless existence. I could bear with it if I had means to at least make it comfortable, but it looks like I will most probably soon be forced to *really struggle hard* just for the right of living a life that isn't worth it.
It's nice that you enjoy my posts. Unfortunately you experiences don't translate into me. I don't enjoy my posts at all. Yea don't feel anything about them at all, except pain of course. Pain is always there just for lulz of whatever.
Thought how to properly finish this post and ended up imagining how I would hang myself, haha. Burn it all
No.
8200
Yeah lizards sorry. I'll probably still be around for some time, maybe even a year or two but watching it all unfold I see unfortunately suicide is my destiny. It's scary as fuck, but the fact of killing yourself itself doesn't make me feel bad anymore. I learned that it is actually a very handy and often reasonable thing to do to avoid embarrassing yourself more than is proper.
No.
8201
>>8199>>8200I can see how suicide is tempting for people like you. Not trying to throw a pity party, but my clinical depression started since I was a teen and with meds hasn't gone away. I just could not go through with it because of religious reasons and my family.
No.
8202
>>8201I don't have a lot of space for suicide either, actually. I've sketched some ideas on how it could be done in secret from everyone, but that will take lots of time, so I think of it as of a long term investment. Liz I would endure anything but my consciousness doesn't allow me. Physical struggle be damned, but emotional pain is too much to bear
No.
8207
I feel strings of madness tugging at me but I'm exhausted so there is nothing left to disturb in me. It roughly feels like lying on a hot pan but be unable to really feel it. It's my daily report! I've been rambling how I'm screwed lately, and today's the day. Tomorrow, a new stage in my life begins, literally. I've never hit the floor as low as this time. I guess the lesson here I should learn is that you do not choose where you're going to fail, so you should instead simply stop giving a fuck. Oh no, I failed!? Fuck it. I must not care. In the long run, it changes nothing. I've been at it for a year now, forcing myself to stop expecting and desiring, but God knows how hard it is in reality. But it's the only sensible thing to do. In the end, you just die or kill yourself. So long as it's bearable I should simply exist just because I can. I just need to live up to this mindset. It's not simple at all
No.
8211
>>8209Meanwhile I don't exit my house during strong wind because it would blow me away
No.
8213
Why god
Why
No.
8214
I've god addicted to listening to music before sleep. Can't sleep otherwise. The problem is that I sometimes end up wasting hours in vain to find something good to sleep to. You can imagine it ain't no happy music.
No.
8216
LOL, triggered OCD, ruined everything even more, and now post compulsion anxiety is kicking in. I want to claws my brains out :D
No.
8217
It's actually neither OCD nor whatever I know of. A random distraction just caught my attention and before I realized what's happening it was already hours too late. At the end I was even aware that I must stop and I just simply couldn't. It takes another person to snap me out, otherwise I'd do it until finish or complete exhaustion. I don't know what the fuck it is.
No.
8218
>>8217Bot says
>The person is describing a situation of procrastination or getting lost in a distraction.
No.
8219
>>8218I wish your bot was more useful than rephrasing what I just said.
No.
8222
I feel like I'm reaching enlightenment for the hundredth time :O
No.
8224
Panic.
Try imageboards. Fail.
Try music. Fail.
Try games. Fail.
Try going outside. Fail.
Try to fix shit. Fail.
Good thing I am still trying to do something, bad thing it's weeks too late.
