No.
8019
Hmm that makes me wonder how lizards deal love unto each other. Do the rub tails or whatever, lmao?
No.
8021
>>8019Like this
Our numbers are low, I suggest mandatory handholding to combat this
No.
8022
>>8021Yeaah lets grub Ihato he's experienced running the site I'm sure he'll agree to run some mini-lizs as well ahaha
No.
8033
I was a bit less miserable today hooray!
No.
8068
>>8067Everything depends on your cost of living and buying power
Not sure if you don't understand that or just want to flex
No.
8069
>>8068I just got no idea how much is a lot or how much is too little. I originally though 800 for another job was a lot, but now I just got no idea
No.
8073
Decided to read this thread but it's full of my rambling so I backed out. Terminal onlineness lol
No.
8075
>>8074Your ramblings don't give me pain. Mine do.
No.
8082
>>8079Subjective experiences tend to be exaggerated. Plus I'm a retard. Also school taught me to be a poser to lighten or prevent harassment and I never went out of this retarded habit. When you exaggerate things arbitrarily it might end up being funny so they won't have to dedicate their day to making your life miserable. You know what I mean. I didn't known of healthier ways back then.
No.
8175
Damn I just woke up but anxiety and existential horrors are already creeping in. I wonder how much effort it will take to actually get out of my bed. I feel very dull, like I'm already dead but still afraid to be "separated" from the body or whatever
No.
8178
Wish I got some brain as well I hate to repost the same thing 999 times because there's either a typo or my dumb ass clicked to reply a wrong thread. Why am I so stupid
No.
8179
>there's either a type
Guess what? I meant 'typo'. There's going to be no paradise for me
No.
8186
>>8185The ramblings of a mad man.
No.
8187
>>8186I dare you. I'm as sane as Buddha
No.
8188
>>8187Dare me what? I'm mentally insane I think for the most part.
No.
8189
>>8188>insaneInsanity is just a label for enlightenment. Hail Raptor, don't heed the wailing of worms.
No.
8191
Speaking of enlightenment, it's either just a good day, hopefully, or I am about to take another turn in my cyclothymia (just a label I'm not diagnosed). If it's the latter I might need to cut my internet wire for while. This rush of directionless energy overflowing is insane. I can't use but I feel like burning alive. Can't explain. There's just too much to put in words
No.
8193
How many times will reality slap my face before I fucking break? God pass down some copium to me.
No.
8194
It was just a good day after all. Sometimes happens when you're depressed. You just suddenly start feeling good. Fortunately life immediately fixed that. Imagine having a stressless week in a row, start feeling good and then be crushed again. Can't remember just how many times I've been through this. God at least let me find some music. I don't know what to do. I'm fucked in every way and there is nothing I can do. I wish I wasn't god damn cripple
No.
8196
Actually it all boils down to not wanting to die. Fix that and I'm all right. Just gimme rope
No.
8197
>>8196>>8194I enjoy your posts anon. Keep posting.
No.
8199
>>8197>Keep postingHow do you find will to struggle on a sinking ship and does it make sense at all? I sketched my situation right now and considering how I can't recuperate and make an effort, I am now fucked. I could do something about it if I started a few weeks earlier but I couldn't pull myself together then, and I can't do it now.
I was never ready for such life. And even putting aside complaints, there is inherently no point. I'm just set up for an empty purposeless existence. I could bear with it if I had means to at least make it comfortable, but it looks like I will most probably soon be forced to *really struggle hard* just for the right of living a life that isn't worth it.
It's nice that you enjoy my posts. Unfortunately you experiences don't translate into me. I don't enjoy my posts at all. Yea don't feel anything about them at all, except pain of course. Pain is always there just for lulz of whatever.
Thought how to properly finish this post and ended up imagining how I would hang myself, haha. Burn it all
No.
8200
Yeah lizards sorry. I'll probably still be around for some time, maybe even a year or two but watching it all unfold I see unfortunately suicide is my destiny. It's scary as fuck, but the fact of killing yourself itself doesn't make me feel bad anymore. I learned that it is actually a very handy and often reasonable thing to do to avoid embarrassing yourself more than is proper.
No.
8201
>>8199>>8200I can see how suicide is tempting for people like you. Not trying to throw a pity party, but my clinical depression started since I was a teen and with meds hasn't gone away. I just could not go through with it because of religious reasons and my family.
No.
8202
>>8201I don't have a lot of space for suicide either, actually. I've sketched some ideas on how it could be done in secret from everyone, but that will take lots of time, so I think of it as of a long term investment. Liz I would endure anything but my consciousness doesn't allow me. Physical struggle be damned, but emotional pain is too much to bear
No.
8207
I feel strings of madness tugging at me but I'm exhausted so there is nothing left to disturb in me. It roughly feels like lying on a hot pan but be unable to really feel it. It's my daily report! I've been rambling how I'm screwed lately, and today's the day. Tomorrow, a new stage in my life begins, literally. I've never hit the floor as low as this time. I guess the lesson here I should learn is that you do not choose where you're going to fail, so you should instead simply stop giving a fuck. Oh no, I failed!? Fuck it. I must not care. In the long run, it changes nothing. I've been at it for a year now, forcing myself to stop expecting and desiring, but God knows how hard it is in reality. But it's the only sensible thing to do. In the end, you just die or kill yourself. So long as it's bearable I should simply exist just because I can. I just need to live up to this mindset. It's not simple at all
No.
8211
>>8209Meanwhile I don't exit my house during strong wind because it would blow me away
No.
8213
Why god
Why
No.
8214
I've god addicted to listening to music before sleep. Can't sleep otherwise. The problem is that I sometimes end up wasting hours in vain to find something good to sleep to. You can imagine it ain't no happy music.
No.
8216
LOL, triggered OCD, ruined everything even more, and now post compulsion anxiety is kicking in. I want to claws my brains out :D
No.
8217
It's actually neither OCD nor whatever I know of. A random distraction just caught my attention and before I realized what's happening it was already hours too late. At the end I was even aware that I must stop and I just simply couldn't. It takes another person to snap me out, otherwise I'd do it until finish or complete exhaustion. I don't know what the fuck it is.
No.
8218
>>8217Bot says
>The person is describing a situation of procrastination or getting lost in a distraction.
No.
8219
>>8218I wish your bot was more useful than rephrasing what I just said.
No.
8222
I feel like I'm reaching enlightenment for the hundredth time :O
No.
8224
Panic.
Try imageboards. Fail.
Try music. Fail.
Try games. Fail.
Try going outside. Fail.
Try to fix shit. Fail.
Good thing I am still trying to do something, bad thing it's weeks too late.
No.
8225
>>8220I recognize that artist
Wouldn't be surprised if it was a chick
They draw the filthiest things
