No.
8277
Hmm. Too tired to do what I need, too tired to vent. So tired in fact that I neither want nor can even tolerate talking to people. Making a post fills me with fear. I still post this to hopefully whatever I don't know heh
No.
8278
Shoot me in the face
No.
8283
hello
No.
8285
>>8283Hello. How's your burrow? How's the hunt?
No.
8299
Hm I can't make a post?
No.
8301
>>8299Ahh sweet file size limits, didn't notice original file was almost 10mb in size.
No.
8302
Hi again. First visit in a long time.
I hope you are doing better. I am not.
No.
8305
>>8302Hi.
I've got a brief stress free period for once, so I try to enjoy it while I can. I know it will end brutally but damn it feels so good to be able to fall asleep without first being raped by anxiety.
Want to rant? Why do you feel bad?
No.
8307
>>8305Not really up to ranting but i had some bad stuff happen and really have been unable to control my self sabotaging behavior recently. Or maybe more that i don't have the will to control that stuff anymore.
>>7739I feel exactly like this when i have to go out. The outside world doesn't feel real to me
No.
8309
>>8307>Not really up to ranting but i had some bad stuff happen and really have been unable to control my self sabotaging behavior recently.Don't worry too much about it. I've been through the shit just not so long ago. Got triggered badly and completely spaced out very nearly ruining my life in the process.
No.
8318
I am working my best to break the springing remnants of consciousness and self. Otherwise I'd simply go mad. Only when you don't consider yourself anything, like an empty bubble or whatever can you find any peace. Just let even the slightest idea of self to sink in, and thousands of desires rip you apart. No thanks.
No.
8326
>>8318Chasing desires is what makes life worth living dumbo
No.
8328
>>8326Chasing desires is what makes your life top notch miserable. Each desire rooted in the world of material possessions is a leverage for abuse. Whoever holds the objects of your desires, holds you, and can do what he wants, while you are being slowly eaten alive by anxiety and by the swelling unsatisfied desires. Whoever holds object of your desire can make you grovel and beg for it and reduce yourself to a mockery of a human being. Whoever chases desires invites others to abuse him. Desires are the most evil thing I have known, and they are so deeply internalized I am not sure that evil is not an intrinsic part of being a human. This is why I must become a lizard. To have no desires, so nobody and nothing has power over me. Only I and my burrow. "Take what small comfort there may be left, Seize what you love and damn all the rest". Me and my burrow. You happy-go-lucky normans can go elsewhere, you and I exist in different worlds.
No.
8329
>>8328>To have no desires, so nobody and nothing has power over meSounds like defensive mechanism lol
You can just not let yourself get overpowered by others and keep going towards your dreams.
It sounds like you're trying to become something you're not for no other reason than being afraid of getting hurt or perhaps it's selfhate.
I don't know you so I might be stretching this a bit.
If I had any desires I would do all to fulfill them.
No.
8330
>>8329Say is it possible that something that is good in its nature turns you down?
No.
8333
>>8331Don't worry, me too.
No.
8338
Unironically can't get out of bed. What the fuck? I just feel too empty or whatever.
No.
8367
I want to vomit
No.
8369
I want to end my addictions
No.
8370
>>8369hentai haven again??
No.
8372
>>8371porn you can quit by sheer willpower and jerking off each time you want to watch it right before watching it as for the rest sorry i never got hooked on them so no advice
No.
8377
>>8371Hey liz do you have aphantasia by any chance?
No.
8378
>>8377No. I use to masturbate to my thoughts, but porn is everywhere. Doesn't help that the world we live in today is super hypersexualized.
No.
8379
>>8378It takes concentration. I myself still walk the razor's edge avoiding porn, but if you place yourself comfortably and concentrate properly on the fantasy, it's really unrivaled by any porn imaginable in my experience.
No.
8388
Remind me please why I suddenly thought I was allowed to sleep?
No.
8389
>>8388earplugs allow sleep for everyone
No.
8390
>>8389Can they shut off madness inside of my head?
No.
8392
Think hard. I know you want to give up at the previous sentence, but just pay me attention for a few seconds. Contemplate. Absorb. Understand. 8.1 billions human beings. Not more than 5 regulars on lizchan. Sometimes I wish I new how I found this place at all.
No.
8395
fucking lizards. it's spring time. eclipse the sun. the hunt begins. savages alit by the flames of rage as they rip and tear at gaia's skin
No.
8398
fucking springs. took a walk because the day seemed nice and sunny and you bet it ruined my mood completely. what a fucked mind i have
No.
8399
>springs
i meant Spring of course. speaking of springs i don't consider them overly useful since usually you can't drown yourself in one without considerable effort and dedication.
No.
8401
Work is busting my balls my feet hurt
No.
8405
>>8403Construction yeah, walking up and down flights of stairs and standing around on my feet all day. Doesn't help i'm a tad bit overweight.
No.
8406
>>8405>constructionYeah talk about shitty jobs
No.
8407
My skull is cracking. I hate headaches. I'd hate myself too right now, but the headache doesn't allow me.
No.
8410
>>8409not that lizard but i'm not aware of working at the construction that would be worth the money
No.
8411
>>8409It can be depending on your craft and once you become a journeyman and eventually foreman. Blue collar work is not for the mentally and physically weak. I wouldn't recommend it. Your body will be broken by age 40.
No.
8414
My arms, mouth and skin on head feels numb.
The fuck is going on lol
No drugs or anything, I just ate a bit too much.
No.
8415
Cont.
>>8414Oh shit, this might be migraine aura. Oh god please no
No.
8417
Dude pills NOWW. There are no reasons, not ever, to suffer through that when you can take a pill.
No.
8418
Nothing like waking up to a horrifically strange dream where you are raped.
I've been feeling bad enough for two months and really don't need to be reminded of how terrible people on top of it. Things are so bad that I can't engage any sort of interaction in an online game I like and instead just spectate during rounds. For fear of messing up and angering anyone.
