No.5995
Thank you. I've felt something bad right now. I was looking at the wikipedia page for pettanko,
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pettanko and it mentioned Tainaka Ritsu, so I try to look up a picture of her, find the K-ON! wiki, and it shows her birthdate as
August 21, 1991. Jesus hell this makes me feel old. K-ON came on during 2009. She'd be 29 by now. She's older than me by 4 years, so I'd be a freshman when she was in her senior year. It's all just so jarring I guess. It's so weird to see someone older than you in high school. I don't know if I could watch the anime anymore.
My highschool days weren't great. My life right now is pretty bad too. It's not horrible, but I'm not in a good place now and I'm breaching the point of no return. Even if I recover, I'm sure the memories of inadaquacy will haunt me for the rest of my life. I probably wouldn't feel so bad if I were in a better position I guess. I hope to get better soon.
>>5994I have tourettes. The vocal tics aren't as bad as the motor ticks. I used to put my hands above my head grasp my hands together, and do a weird moan when I was in elementary school. It was bad and loud. I didn't really get teased for it thankfully. My vocal ticks are now just throat noises and no motor ticks. I'm very glad for that. If anyone makes fun of you, you can always shame them for making fun of someone whose brain is different from them and shame them for someone else's disabilities. Never stop thinking that you're not to blame here. Once you stop thinking that, the ticks (and maybe other people) start to get ahold of you. I refuse to take blame and feel no shame. If it's tourettes, do the same.
No.5997
Demons
No.5998
>>5995>breaching the point of no return.What do you mean by that?
>memories of inadaquacy will haunt me for the rest of my life.They lose on power with time and there will be new ones covering previous.
Focusing on past is the silliest thing to do, you really shouldn't.
Thank you for those words.
Have you been taking meds for it?
If so I would appreciate some info about how it changed your daily life.
>>5996I had similar problem untill I noticed that kindly telling people no with reasoning why gets rid of being drudge and others actually start to respect you.
No.6051
>>5998Generally the point of no return is after 25, but as of now, I'm 25 with no real career. It's more of a point of no return for my psyche. However, I keep on hearing other people graduate college at this time and start their career, so the pressure is lessened there.
>They lose on power with time and there will be new ones covering previous.Focusing on past is the silliest thing to do, you really shouldn't.
I have recurring dreams about it. It's my main depressor honestly. I hope it'll eventually go away, but I'll always remember the first 25 years of my life, 1/3rd of my life, being miserable. I still have 2/3rds of my life at least.
>Have you been taking meds for it?If so I would appreciate some info about how it changed your daily life.
Not at all. The tics really aren't noticeable anymore. I still make noticeable sounds, but only some people bring it up. If they do, I'll just explain to them I have Tourettes. Most people understand. It's generally understood that if you make fun of people who have a condition, you're a douchebag and hated. It's in the movies, at least.
No.6052
>>6051>I'll always remember the first 25 years of my life, 1/3rd of my life, being miserableIf you had a bad time growing up, it's a heavy burden for the rest of your life.
No.6094
>>6052I just realized something luckily. Of the 25 years of my life, till 18, I wasn't too stressed. From 20-25 I started failing classes. Five years isn't long at all. I think I can manage getting out of this mess and do well with my life.
I hated school, but it was nowhere near as bad as seeing people of my age range leave a wageslave job while I stay. Soon, I think I can get out myself. Good luck to me. I'm working hard on working + school.
No.6096
>>6094Could have been autistic burnout.
No.6102
>>6096That made me laugh, ngl. I don't have Autism, but I was overreacting. I was looking at my late 20s as an independent section of my life instead of a small section of my overall life. I've grown, and I hope to outgrow my current job. I might actually be fine since my father got into I.T. at 25 (except with a degree in comp sci). If I manage to get my foot in the door and graduate before 26, I'll be pretty happy.
My mood kinda fluctuates between intense worrying and these realizations.
No.6204
>>6190uh oh, it looks like someone ate too much Halloween candy. I bet your mommy and daddy had a real hard time putting you to bed last night.
No.6205
>>6190I know how that feels, liz. I don't think I'll be going anywhere else soon. At least we can be poor together though.
No.6243
>>6228America has always been a corrupt place, being founded by a bunch of Freemasons and all. But now it's become very transparent how broken things are, which is good in a sense.
No.6269
>>6268Why would you post such a creepy image on a comfy board faggot.
No.6275
>>6268>they tell me I'm already enrolled in a virtual classroom but I can't for the love of god find it Oh hello I had the same shit happen to me. Missed three weekends because of that.
Imagine that IT school which is in top 5 in the city has tons of outdated links on their website.
Thanks to that I was connecting to Skype virtual classes that nobody used.
Fortunately I made a smart decision of talking to some random guy in class and we exchanged contacts.
He told me that they're using MS Teams when I asked lately what's up.
Anyway check your school email or personal one for info.
No.6290
>>6289Not even like conspiring, it's just that their common behaviour is off, or wrong, not right, but they behave like that normally.
Like a dog that tears off a part of his skin, he's not harming you, but what he's doing is wrong and it gives the sensation of a nightmare where wrong is the norm, and illegal is legal, where red is considered blue and denying it brings a world of trouble.
No.6291
>>6290Just think less, you silly.
You're overthinking stuff
No.6295
>>6287Yea its really jarring.
Weird to see how reactionary others you once thought normgroids turn into the very cancer you make fun of and laugh at online.
I honestly take it for granted that Im not mentally handicapped like these people are.
Truly peak clown existence.
No.6326
>>6325cute pic
good job getting off the pill jew
No.6336
>>6329Which one? You're among friends here.
No.6346
>>6326Thanks, so far I'm constantly angry and sad for no reason. It's so annoying
No.6348
I FUCKING HATE RETROARCH
No.6353
Wizchan is a mixed bag. Sometimes it's full of warmies, sometimes not.
No.6354
>>6353I can't even be bothered to look at the site anymore. That sites been dead to me for a long time now.
No.6361
>>6360Couldn't you find a studio apartment or basement suite in your area on craigslist or something? You shouldn't have to sell all your belongings to get a months rent. And the roommate thing sounds like it could be a nightmare, I figured guys that post here would prefer to live alone.
No.6362
>>6360So you have to pawn your stuff. I foresee ramen noodles in your immediate future.
No.6364
>>6361I would prefer to live alone. The thing is that the whole offer was quite cheap when divided by two.
I can not quit since that could do some trouble since the Boss taken his time to get it so cheap and he is also renting office from that guy.
Studio wouldn't be cheaper than this offer and renting a single room could be a nightmare since there are other people.
>>6362Unfortunately ramen noodles are not that cheap here
No.6365
>>6364>renting a single room could be a nightmare since there are other peopleOther people outside of your place. Your studio apartment would have a lock on the door.
>ramen noodles are not that cheapDo you live in Nunavut or something? Ramen is cheap everywhere.
No.6367
>>6363>is it all about money?It might as well be.
No.6368
Nevermind, looks like I just made up the whole "I CANNOT cancel signing the papers".
I'm losing my sanity and the worst part is I'm being told about this from others and I can't see it.
>>6365I'm not sure if I understand but there are no offers like that it's either entire flat or just a room with everything else shared.
>Ramen is cheap everywhere.Never noticed it until now,I've seen only two Brands of ramen noodles and one is imported expensive hot stuff,weird ,weird.
>>6367I guess it's just a combination of meternal (animalistic) instincts and money,nothing more than that.
No.6369
>>6368>I'm not sure if I understandA studio apartment is just an apartment with a room and a bathroom, no bedroom. One might not be available in your area. My city is so damn expensive that they're the only places somewhat affordable for a guy making minimum age. And even then they rent for over $1000 a month.
No.6376
I meant coming back to it. Oh and did lizadmin got rid of delete post option?
No.6377
>>6376Isn't the delete post option visible to you?
No.6379
>>6377Nvm, the fault was on my device. It works now
No.6382
>>6375>corona stuff more cringeEver since covid hit Italy it's been total cringe here. People seen the footage of hospitals in Italy and worked themselves into a hysteria, when later I found out that Italian hospitals always get oversaturated like that because of the high geriatric population.
First it was the idiotic lockdowns where a lot of the businesses I enjoy going to got shut down and everyone got to stay at home and not work except for me. And now that the stimulus payments have dried up it's the fucking maasks and social distancing rules. I could care less about holidays being cancelled and clubs being shuttered tbh.
No.6413
Not even halfway through and I'm already sick of December. I just want this stressful consumerist month to end.
No.6414
I'm after payday and it turned out that it's less than was stated. It's even below the minimum wage.
I don't understand. Everything was done great and praised yet this happens.
Welp if the next one will be similar then new job must be found.
SHIEEET all my hype for this is gone.
>>6413Retail?
No.6415
>>6414If you're asking if I work retail then no. I hate the gift giving aspect of the holiday. I don't know what to get anyone, I don't really like shopping, and I don't even like receiving gifts. People always get me things I don't want or need and it always results in more clutter around my place.
No.6416
>>6415It truly is better to give than to receive.
No.6418
>>6416I'd agree with that. I've never been comfortable with being given things by other people. I'd be happy if people just got me beer and lotto tickets for shitmas, things that I would actually enjoy getting and won't clutter my place up.
No.6421
>>6419Of course you'd feel that way when you don't shop at Waitrose.
No.6422
>>6421Why, does Waitrose not do the mask shit?
No.6426
>>6422It's a joke because it's higher up the price chain. I'm not even a bong.
No.6452
>>6451It's like the worst aspects of the people you hate increase exponentially this day and new years' eve. Fucking hate it, I wish I could just shut myself down in my room and don't have to interact with anybody, but that's an impossibility when you live with your parents
No.6453
>>6452I guess I have it easy compared to you.
No.6456
>>6454I can't stand family get-togethers. The only people in my family I find tolerable are my grandparents and it's because they're about as isolated and broken as me. Thank God this month is almost over.
>Probably all those Lizzies are deadNot me (Homer in bed).
No.6457
>>6454Would you be surprised if I told you that I was three out of those images?
No.6458
>>6457You were only suppose to be in one. How can we ever have a nice lizchan group photo with cheaters like you?
No.6466
>>6465>Damn that clown xDImo The most normal people talk to themselves almost always when focused/angry/annoyed.
So many do this, I don't think anybody will look at you differently, except me lmao
No.6467
>>6466>most normal peopleI think I do it in excess, to the point where I might come across like a schizophrenic. I sometimes have to stop talking while in public and force myself to speak internally.
>except me lmaoer you motherfucker… bastard dur shithead… faggots…
No.6468
I always do things in last moments.
Did the same with whole studying.
Today I understood that it's time to actually do something.
Checks 3 sites of university where all the info should be stored.
>everything>is>E M P T Y>LITERALLY NOTHINGWow great so the whole education system is in the middle ages. If you didn't pay attention on web classes then you know nothing. It's not even recorded or something.
I was so sure that there will be at least some info when to pass exams and stuff that I didn't bother checking. Since it was obvious to me.
IT school so they will for sure make use of the Internet. Well nope. Even my previous shitty schools had online book with all the necessary info.
I have no idea for what I was paying but gotta quit this shit
Hmmm so what do I do now to not work for the lowest wage till I die?
I have no idea, so lost. I don't want to be an adult, my vision is being crushed by retarded reality.
Damn, I'm manbaby after all with no skills nor plans for the future.
>>6467>probably because of all the time spent alone.I don't think it works like that.
I'm no expert but I think you just got used to talking out loud, gotta break the habit.
Easiest solution is ball gag. Harder - therapy idk
No.6471
>>6468>Hmmm so what do I do now to not work for the lowest wage till I die?Normies get ahead in the workplace largely by networking and having confidence. Believe me, I've seen them bullshit their way into positions a thousand times. You'd need to have some awesome skills to make up for your lack of these attributes and even then your expected to have some social skills.
You might have to come to terms with the fact that you're not a high valued human. I did.
No.6472
>>6471>You might have to come to terms with the fact that you're not a high valued human. Oh that explains much to me.
I mixed up being valuable person with valuable human. Thank you for that reality check.
I guess I will just stick to being no one. Forcing myself to fake Chad-like behaviour maybe could make my situation better although I would suffer every second of it.
Anyway how did you bare with that fact? Tried to fight it or just gave up?
No.6473
>>6472>how did you bare with that fact?I developed low self esteem that bears down on me everyday.
>Tried to fight it or just gave up?ha I'm probably the worst person to give life advice. I dropped out of a bunch of things. High school, college, the military. If you think you can handle the pressure of dealing with various responsibilities maybe try to advance a little in life, but if you get overwhelmed easily people need to learn to meet you where you're at.
No.6504
This weekend gonna be great just slept 11 hours so I will have plenty of energy
>wakes up
>urinary tract infection
>PP HURTS SO HARD
No.6506
>>6504It could always be worse. At least your tract infection will probably go away after some antibiotics.
A lot of older guys get constipation all the time and have to lug around bowels full of feces that won't come out. Imagine trying to enjoy a nice meal when you haven't taking a shit for three days.
No.6507
>>6506>constipation Just eat mung bean sprouts.
No.6514
>>6513heh I think you mean an enema
No.6529
>>6528sounds like you may need to see a dermatologist my lizard
No.6547
>>6546Same here but mine is from drug abuse when I was a dumb teenager what's yours from anon?
No.6548
>>6546I have similar problem but it's caused by me going on autopilot.
Rather shitty autopilot.
In that state I'm not focused at all and tend to turn off all the logical thinking resulting in many mistakes.
I may be turning into warmie flesh running purely on instincts lol
My theory says that this happens from too much stimuli.
>>6547What drugs and how often?
I've been using dxm once a month at max as teen and I think it had no negative impact on me except my social phobia getting worse for like a week or so
No.6549
>>6547>drug abuse when I was a dumb teenagerExactly the same with me probably. I developed quite the drug habit when I was a teenager. I'm afraid that by the time I'm in my 40s I'm gonna be a drooling burnout.
No.6550
>>6548It was DXM abuse for me but I did it way more often and didn't really care if it was triple C's or not which also fucked with my memory. Glad it didn't fuck with you as bad as me anon.
>>6549Same here that is also my fear.
No.6551
>>6550>dxmIt's the worst mainstream drug to take frequently especially at young age.
Were you aware of that? Or just didn't bother to study the substance.
I'm sure that if I didn't look things up it would end in taking it more often.
My pseudo suicide attempt included 1275mg of it.
Fortunately for me, it had no negative effects.
No.6555
>>6551>My pseudo suicide attempt included 1275mg of it.Wow, and was that in purple drank or gel caps? Correct me if I'm wrong but that must of been like 5 bottles of syrup. I hope your internal organs are ok.
No.6558
>>65552 x 300mg gelcaps + 300 syrup + and some round tablets
Like year after this I had every organ checked and they scored better than average. So it didn't affect me in any way.
No.6559
>>6558That must of been a pretty big handful of gelcaps, you must of swallowed like 30 of them. You would probably need to take way more to overdose. It sounds like you took enough for a long and heavy trip, I hope you enjoyed it.
No.6560
Some old women gave me shit today for not wearing a mask. I wanted to snap at her but I knew everyone around would all jump to her defence. Why can't people just mind their own fucking business?
No.6562
>>6561we're all having to deal with this mask shit right now. this is the vent thread you know
No.6565
>>6564>still suck at themAre you actually playing to get better or just a matter of habit/addiction?
There is a huge difference between those two even if you don't notice it yourself, speaking from experience.
It's all about thinking through every move and learning from mistakes instead of running on autopilot.
>it feels like I'm wasting my life away It is a waste if you see it as one.
I noticed that my life will be a waste whatever I do since some personal problems just can not be solved.
So I do not feel bad about wasting time because it was "kinda predefined" from the start.
I'm free to do anything I want
No.6566
>>6565>playing to get better or just a matter of habit/addictionMore of the latter than the former truthfully. I'm trying to use save states less so I can get better at games but I still play badly. I have poor concentration so my mind is always wandering off the game, leading to frequent deaths.
>personal problems just can not be solvedI guess that's true for me too.
No.6571
>>6564You *are* wasting your life away with video games and that is a fact. There is nothing transferable to other parts of your life that you can obtain from video games. People attacked Joe Rogan when he mentioned this because he made a stupid comparison with judo where with judo you can eventually open a dojo or whatever. It's stupid, as sports are just as equally as non-transferable as video games. Unless you devote your entire life to a video game or sport you will not get anywhere with it but even if you do then it comes maintaining your high ranking which you will not be able to do indefinitely.
There are two ways you can succeed in life: become one of the best in something that already exists, or invent something new and become successful simply because you were the first person to invent it. As it turns out former is much harder than the latter and with diminished returns. There is a reason why businesses usually look for NEW business opportunities rather than look at who they can compete with. Of course, you can be mediocre at something that already exists (which is where most of us are), or invent something that nobody gives a shit.
There are also many ways to fail at life as well which is get addicted to drugs, get arrested, fall extremely ill etc. video games are usually not going to destroy your life the way many other things would but it would not bring anything to your life either, that is unless you declare your life *is* about playing video games. Which is dangerous because it's not sustainable. You will eventually starve or fall I'll and video games are not going to help you there. I guess at least nowadays there are ways to make your life worth with video games such as streaming (not getting into the fact watchers are themselves wasting their life) if you truly want to make your life revolve around nothing but video games. It's just that video games are in general a poor thing to devote your life to, not that you should never play vidya, sports or read books etc. just because they are dead ends, because devoting your life to being productive 24/7 is going to devoid your life of any enjoyment and in and of itself is a wasted life.
I talk about this as someone who devoted his twenties to giggling at stupid shit on the internet every day for 16-17h and someone who thought a lot about wasting his life. I have a degree (a Ph.D) at giggling at stupid shit. I don't know how to transfer my skill of giggling on stupid shit. Starting a meme channel sounds like a stupid idea to me even though it's probably the only thing that can make these years spent worth. So for all intents and purposes, my life is wasted for a little bit of gratification occurring intermittently and I imagine video games are the same way.
No.6572
>>6571>There are two ways you can succeed in lifeThat all sounds very hard. I don't think I can monetize anything I'm good at. I'm just gonna lay down and rot.
No.6574
Huh I've got banned on my pc for spam but never did anything that broke the rules what.
Lizmods?
No.6576
>>6574Maybe your IP accidentally matched somebody else's who was spamming?
No.6600
>>6599How old are you now, liz?
How much more to go?
No.6601
>>6600early 30s. if I can pay some things off and then work for a few more years I might just be able to pull it off
No.6611
obligations and wage slavery have gotten me so worn and stressed out these past couple of days, it feels like a steam roller drove over top of me
No.6612
I apparently have seven months to gtfo of my parent's home. They might be moving or something. I have a sister who I can live with for as little as 300 a month. It's a steal and might secure my life for a little longer. Otherwise, I'm going to have to die or go homeless. I would rather choose the former.
No.6613
>>6612>7 monthsThat's a lot of time to prepare for this. You got this liz
No.6614
>>6613if he's anything like me he'll procrastinate for the next six months, playing video games and trying not to think about the inevitable
No.6632
>>6631>head is going to explodeHahaha no,
rather make my head explode No.6633
>>6614God this hits so true. Luckily my sister is a liar and it's actually seven years. I hope I don't screw up.
No.6635
>>6633>don't screw upyes exactly, try be as low profile as the furniture so when they finally move they'll take you with them
No.6668
>>6666>loud normies have the wrath of satan upon themI wouldn't want to be them right now.
No.6676
>>6675Tell us what happened now, liz.
No.6677
>>6676Just a deal that I was planning to make fell through. It might still happen but I was hoping to get it done with this week. Nothing can ever go smoothly for me, everything needs to be more complicated than it has to be.
No.6679
a-am I banned or was the site down? I'm paranoid lizzies.
No.6680
>>6679 fug I forgot how to sage
No.6686
if it gets any hotter out I might sweat to death. I wish ac was easier to install
No.6687
>>6686Just keep a fan by your side like I do, no need for AC
No.6693
>>6687when it's gets up to 40C fans don't help that mush
No.6702
>>6681Oh good, I thought it was just me. There was a table error or something and I'm paranoid as hell.
No.6730
im getting an AC installed today. very exciting.
No.6732
>>6730how dare you get AC before me you bastard
No.6734
>>6732you should get a better and faster landlord (mum) like i have
No.6735
>>6734I'm my own landlord, and I'll openly admit to being a miserly person. I try to always spend as little as possible, even if it means baking in the heat all summer.
No.6736
>>6735how does a lizard end up owning property?
No.6748
>>6736I bought my run down little place many years ago when real estate in my city was cheap. It's nice not having to live with parents.
No.6809
Had to use the toilet but mother was taking a bath since 20 minutes.
Asked her kindly to just leave it for sec.
She got mad. Explained her that I really have to use it. Nope
Told her that I always leave the bathroom in a sec and that it's really urgent. Nope
Aaaaand I had to choose between shiting my pants or improvising.
Lizards I present to you the shit jar. Great innovation of stealth and emergency pooping.
Just be careful not to sit on it.
I don't even know how to describe my mother, damn. It's not like she was mad at me or anything. What a cunt
No.6814
>>6809I hate it when people don't appreciate the importance of bowel movements. Just remember liz to empty your shit jars at regular intervals. Unlike piss jugs they'll attract flies fast.
No.6815
>>6814Thank you for the tip but that's the last time I used a jar.
That whole situation made me so mad that I decided to move out.
Good timing as my Boss decided to rent a flat.
It has two rooms so I'm staying in one. Quite expensive but that's a huge change when it comes to living conditions.
So far only till 15th October after that he'll decide if I can stay longer or not.
If not then he'll help me with the paperwork and finding something else.
Didn't know that such unselfish people existed irl
Couldn't get more lucky
No.6816
>>6815nice, hopefully you'll get your own bathroom at your new place
No.6823
I think i'm starting to become a alcholic
No.6824
>>6823leave it, alcohol sucks
I would rather smoke weed and just be comfy and lazy
No.6825
>>6824I would smoke weed if i had a dealer beer makes me bloated as fuck
No.6827
>>6823based. what do you like to drink liz?
No.6829
>>6825Oh rip
Anyway it's much better for liz to learn to live sober.
Druglyfe always has hardcore downsides sooner or later. Speaking from experience and stuff
No.6832
>>6827just bud light platinum
No.6834
>>6832Never had that beer, I don't think it's even available where I live. 6% light beer, I'd probably turn into a drunk if I could get my hands of that stuff. The 6% beer that I get is a bit rough going down.
No.6836
Yikes, I always thought that having certain amount of money will make me feel good and safe.
Turns out I will always feel like depressed retard unless I'm occupied with playing LoL all the time or just come to terms with myself which is impossible, lol
That's really shitty and I haven't played for quite some time.
Got drunk aaaand I can't see sense in anything that I'm doing, no motivation whatsoever.
Got few traumas since I'm oversensitive. If my parents wouldn't rekt me for being myself years ago, I could live my life in peace. Now I'm struggling to do anything while I'm in place to do everything I want.
At least a little understanding from them would help but nah.
They can't see their faults.
I wish they would do the opposite so I could think that I'm not fucked up
No.6837
I always thought that I'm at fault but lately noticed that those are not my thoughts, just theirs.
I don't know how to fix this.
It's written so deep inside me that at this point my life is being moved by their vision of me.
While I think I'm the one in charge.
Pitiful
Had a talk with them today, basically just took my anger on them but it didn't help.
They still think they did everything right.
Never going to contact them again
No.6839
>>6835beer - mostly cheap local stuff or whatever is on sale. wildcat is the beer I probably buy the most
cocktails - vodka and dr pepper, caesars, vodka and oj, rum (captain morgan) and coke. I'm a vodka fan, it mixes well with most drinks
I also like to drink jagermeister around this time of the year.
No.6840
>>6837>Never going to contact them againbrutal. they must of wronged you pretty bad
No.6842
>>6839i've had jagermieister but i usually add it with red bull
No.6844
>>6842A jagerbomb? I've been meaning to try one of those.
No.6849
>>6840Yeah, they fucked me up pretty bad
Everyday I'm haunted by the thoughts that they put into me.
Always thought that I'm just fucked up but after few talks with therapist and opinions of other people.
It all makes sense, basically I'm judging my every action just how they would in the worst case scenario.
I'm sure it wouldn't have such effect if my father wasn't tormenting me physically and mentally.
Thought that lack of saved money and safe place was the issue.
Unfortunately those problems are with me wherever I am and it doesn't matter how much money I have.
I could pretty much do everything now, yet I'm feeling like shit.
There is nothing that I want to do outside of being isolated.
My own person makes me disgusted and depressed.
No goal, motivation or joy.
Kinda cringe lol
No.6850
>>6849>I could pretty much do everything now, yet I'm feeling like shit.You say that but you probably feel at least 10% less shitty than when you were trapped with mom and dad.
No.6851
>>6850Father wasn't living there so it was pretty chill.
Actually I feel more shitty now lol
Well door to my room is always open so I will see if it helps when I keep closed.
Maybe such a silly thing will do wonders
No.6868
Cons:
-got addicted to cryptocurrencies
-struggling to exchange it to normal currency
Pros:
-I have a good amount of money in my cryptowallet
Holy shit I'm retarded. Can't bear with my mind so I need to be constantly focused on something which always results in addiction.
It's not like I'm going to use those funds for something meaningful. I'm wearing rags lol
What drives me towards holding it is a opportunity to just save enough funds one day for some shack and be a shut-in till I die.
I will try to start backing off funds tomorrow from what my NFTs are mining.
I was so sure that I won't lose my mind over it, damn
No.6869
>>6868you should try to at least exchange some of your internet monopoly money for real cash, the price could bottom out any day now
No.6870
>>6869Thank you for the reply, I'm going to do it since saneliz word means much to me.
No.6872
I feel like doing so much LSD fucked me up mentally because of one bad trip i had oh well
No.6874
>>6871Oh then I should not take this tip into consideration.
Internet magic money ftw
>>6872Had two huuuuge bad trips on LSD and for me it changed nothing.
Psychedelics are just not for me
What happened?
No.6875
>>6874nothing too crazy just was tripping way too hard and couldn't handle the anxiety and felt like i was legit going insane and then ended having a bad mental breakdown doesn't help that i'm lonely and depressed
No.6880
>>6875LSD isn't for people who aren't happy with their life, why do you think all the homeless bums choose crack and heroin over psychedelics. My personal drug of choice is New York Sour Diesel, it always relaxes me.
No.6881
>>6868Good thing I didn't do what I wrote. I'm making x3 daily now lol
Top ten epic internet money
No.6885
Oh wow, now I'm in panic.
I have a feeling like someone will break into the house and harm me or someone already got in.
Wanted to check if the door is locked but I couldn't, I'm scared too much.
The fuck is happening haha
Looks like all my mental illnesses decided to wake up at the same time. Wonderful
No.6887
>>6885my mental illness is less about worrying people might have broken in and more about checking the door 50 times to make sure it's locked
No.6890
>>6880That's why you only take LSD if your depressed AND enjoy psychological and existential horror.
Love horror movies or games while I forget who I am, ascribe grander meanings to things, and get trapped on puzzles for minutes that feel like hours.
>>6887Always lock my door and test it, makes piss breaks a pain though.
No.6897
Lost my phone today,had a bank account on it either phone number that doesn't exist anymore.
The only way to switch is to go to bank and show them ID. I also lost it today with my two hoodies in a bag although at different time.
Previously I lost my bank card.
I have no money at hand.
I'm living alone. Guess I'm just gonna starve then.
Holy fuck what the fuck is going on. I keep losing stuff.
Lmfao I guess I need a caretaker
At this point I see no other reasonable fix to this current situation than suicide. Tho I can't afford that either.
That's a lot of stuff to do and interactions with other people.
I'm glad that I have social phobia :-DDDD that's definitely gonna help
Tomorrow I have a ton of shit to do at work. Jesus, it would be so nice to die in sleep today.
No.6899
>>6897Our reptilian lord is trying to teach you all you need is him, lizchan, and an internet connection.
I'm so scared of losing shit I'll constantly tap my pockets every once and awhile and never bring bags with me unless I keep them in my sight.
Couldn't you get a copy of your birth certificate and contact the bank and they'd freeze it?
No.6901
>>6895brutal, why couldn't you keep the cat?
No.6904
>>6901I'm mostly used to solitude, I left them with the old man because he's been married for 50+ years and now his house is empty, they live in a place she could run around and they get along, while i'm having to live in a city now.
No.6908
>>6899You are right, that must be it!
I'm not scared of losing I just lose things all the time.
I only do the tap for my keys and phone and e-cigs. Rest is not important!
>Couldn't you get a copy of your birth certificate and contact the bank and they'd freeze it?Fortunately I disconnected my card before losing phone haha.
Well I found my ID it was outside in the bag with hoodies covered by snow. I forgot to take it inside because I was carrying a chair
Now all I have to do is to go to the bank and hope that they will accept my broken in half ID taped with transparent tape. Then I will be able to change the number and install the app.
Although it's not necessary anymore. Thankfully crypto exchange in which I have acc has option to make you a debit card!
I did it yesterday and it's online now, already ordered groceries with it.
Magic internet money literally saved my life
me in the pic No.6911
>>6908Typical liz, first stage of dementia, digital money investor, one of our cults own prototypes.
What's got you so busy?
No.6916
Welp I got disowned, get to move back with my cat though that'll be nice.
No.6943
Since I started living on my own, life feels like speedrun.
Days pass so fast, my memory gets worse and I have no energy.
Honestly it scares me deeply, the feeling of losing control.
Like I'm becoming less and less aware of everything going on.
Weird shit, does every adult Liz life feels like that?
No.6944
Cont.
>>6943Stupid mood swings
Nevermind, now I feel like a badass
No.6945
i just quit my shitty wage cuck job god fuck this society and shit hole of a planet
No.6946
>>6945Same, I quit my job a few weeks ago. It was a pain leaving because I've been there so long but now it's finally concluded. Hopefully now I can get my mental health back under control.
No.6947
>>6945>fuck this society and shit hole of a planetAgreed
>>6945>>6946 woah Lizzies, why did you quit and what were you doing?
No.6949
>>6947i was working a shitty warehouse job i literally told the manager "i'm out" and walked out
No.6951
>>6947plant I was working at was closing. wasn't getting any severance so I just left
No.6952
I'm trying to get back into IT jobs because they are chill compared to shitty manual labor.
No.6956
>>6952Ah waow, why would you even drop IT.
99% of manual jobs are trash
No.6959
>>6956my dumbass enlisted in the military got out with no skills other than shoot a fucking gun and drive a baby tank yep not much skills
No.6968
>>6959Haha oh shit, you're still here
If I remember correctly this plan was going to turn out rather good?
No.6974
>>6968didn't really turned out that bad i'm applying for VA benefits and i'll probably become a NEET for a while
No.6980
>>6977If it makes you feel any better the scratch tickets that I bought today didn't pay out either. If I could just win that $25,000 prize I could take a year off work. Oh well.
No.6996
Cont.
>>6977Well, I had to fill all that free time and got heavily addicted to League of Legends in like few days lol, again…
>>6979I will gladly stay in this zone. It was made for me. Thank you
>>6980Oh scratch tickets are cool. They're fun but I'm not gonna risk getting into it hah
I don't feel bad about that unrealized profit. That was fun so I don't mind
Got many NFTs in games and share in project with crypto scholarships that is supposed to launch in Q1 so I'm not done totally.
Watch me not selling it all again when it goes up in value lol
No.7009
Oh no playing games and full isolation does not shut the negative thoughts anymore.
Well, that always worked. I feel like shit
I can't fix the things that are causing it since they're not material at all.
My brain is trying to kill me hah
Stupid crap, has everything it needs and still bothers me
No.7011
>>7009I know, my brain and guts are always sabotaging me. A lot of the time I just want to rest on the couch but the nerves is those two parts in my body keep telling me to be nervous about this or that, making my heart speed up. Not that I would do it but I can sort of understand why some people voluntarily lobotomized themselves back in the day.
No.7018
Welp got laid off from doing remote stuff.
Now I have to work at place. I was being "not efficient".
Yeah, not efficient. I wonder what I would hear from Boss if I didn't do unpaid overtime hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>>7011That just sounds like you have unfinished business that should be taken care of
No.7019
well i'm not eating taco bell for a while fucking asshole is having a battle right now
No.7020
>>7018>unfinished business I stress out about nothing. I'm fully aware it's bullshit but like I said my nerves betray me.
>>7019stop complaining, you know that taco bell was totally worth the diarrhea
No.7079
holy shit, I've been transfered from my room at work to some other one. The lights here are so bright that my eyes hurt. I will have to buy some sunglasses to be able to work here lol
also get a pair of some noise canceling headphones because people keep talking here.
I feel like autist
No.7081
>>7079Shut up wagie, those blinding fluorescent lights are there to make you work harder! And take those headphones out, you need to be able to listen to your boss bark orders at you!
No.7082
finally the weekend. 2 short days and it's back to hell.
and yet i have no motivation to do anything
No.7083
>>7081>blinding fluorescent lights are there to make you work harderAah I see, that explains why it's painful for me
>>7082oh yeah, adult life rules when you are in no place to make the rules
>2 short daysI had to do some stuff and on Sunday gotta start cleaning since I'm moving somewhere cheaper and landlord gonna have people coming and lookin. Ahhh that;s gonna be weird
I have to max up my regen on Sunday otherwise I won't make it through the week
No.7114
Past few days I'm cold sweating and feeling really uncomfortable.
My body became much more sensitive.
Craving for something that I'm not aware of.
This feeling is so annoying and it's getting stronger each day.
Idk what's happening
No.7121
>>7118I hate images of "sensitivity scale" or whatever it's called so much
>Positive output -> Positive income>too vagueWhat do
No.7194
>>7192Oh no… I had actually typed out a section where I mentioned that I'm open to doing everything except for religious activities, but I ended up deleting it as it seemed unnecessary.
I've committed my word, which means I'm now bound to follow through on this. Thanks
If anyliz has anything that doesn't collide, feel free to add
No.7195
Almost 6 hours spent on New Testament and seeking info online about it.
>Give your heart and soul to Jesus Christ
Well to fulfill that it's not necessary to read that pile of garbage.
I'm just going to jump onto New Testament.
Beatiful shitposting loop of dude bred then died over and over again. AH truly sacred text
>6 When Seth had lived one hundred five years, he became the father of Enosh. 7 Seth lived after the birth of Enosh eight hundred seven years, and had other sons and daughters. 8 Thus all the days of Seth were nine hundred twelve years; and he died.9 When Enosh had lived ninety years, he became the father of Kenan. 10 Enosh lived after the birth of Kenan eight hundred fifteen years, and had other sons and daughters. 11 Thus all the days of Enosh were nine hundred five years; and he died. 12 When Kenan had lived seventy years, he became the father of Mahalalel. 13 Kenan lived after the birth of Mahalalel eight hundred and forty years, and had other sons and daughters. 14 Thus all the days of Kenan were nine hundred and ten years; and he died. 15 When Mahalalel had lived sixty-five years, he became the father of Jared. 16 Mahalalel lived after the birth of Jared eight hundred thirty years, and had other sons and daughters. 17 Thus all the days of Mahalalel were eight hundred ninety-five years; and he died. 18 When Jared had lived one hundred sixty-two years he became the father of Enoch. 19 Jared lived after the birth of Enoch eight hundred years, and had other sons and daughters. 20 Thus all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty-two years; and he died. 21 When Enoch had lived sixty-five years, he became the father of Methuselah. 22 Enoch walked with God after the birth of Methuselah three hundred years, and had other sons and daughters. 23 Thus all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty-five years. 24 Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him. 25 When Methuselah had lived one hundred eighty-seven years, he became the father of Lamech. 26 Methuselah lived after the birth of Lamech seven hundred eighty-two years, and had other sons and daughters. 27 Thus all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty-nine years; and he died. 28 When Lamech had lived one hundred eighty-two years, he became the father of a son; 29 he named him Noah, saying, “Out of the ground that the Lord has cursed this one shall bring us relief from our work and from the toil of our hands.” 30 Lamech lived after the birth of Noah five hundred ninety-five years, and had other sons and daughters. 31 Thus all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy-seven years; and he died. 32 After Noah was five hundred years old, Noah became the father of Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
No.7197
I meant 6 for Old, not New*
No.7205
I want a total mind reset. Just, totally erase all of my opinions and put me in therapy to get re-adjusted to the world.
No.7209
I hate people walking their dogs. Most of the time they are well behaved but there are these few instances when they'll get too close, bark or be agressive. And it's not like you can be certain what type of dogs and owners will be trouble. The worst I have had to deal with was some tiny grandma's piece of garbage that unexpectedly bit on my leg.
And keep them on a leash for fuck's sake. I don't care that your fleabag is "very nice and friendly haha :-)" I don't want it sniffing me and I don't want to play with it.
No.7210
>>7209>keep them on a leash for fuck's sakeOops, I never use it but understand your point of view.
Most people are too dumb to train theirs.
Screw your granda's rat. I would have no remorse and send it flying with a kick.
I always keep my cool around any other dogs as compensation makes it worth to get bitten lol
Maybe looking at this like that will help you.
Mine doesn't sniff, worst she will throw you a stick and run away far awaiting for your action.
It's energetic breed (not my choice) and follows my every command so it runs free.
biting it's ear and pretending to eat from the bowl was sure worth it! No.7214
>>7213you're going crazy, life is not so difficult.
what you need are some trials to figure yourself out
No.7215
Woah I didn't notice unnecessary "is" at start.
>>7214I'm not saying it is. Just that's rough to live with myself.
I am the one with issues, not life, aware of that.
>some trials to figure yourself outLike what? Name few and I will go for them
No.7216
>>7215I think I kinda was a bit of an ass there.
Sometimes it just gets tough though. Don't mind it. I think the best way to keep forward is starting to look forward to the future.
I'm sure living and believing this is gonna help a lot.
No.7217
>>7216>was a bit of an ass therehaha not at all
>look forward to the futureYeah when you have some goals or stuff to want done then sure, then sure.
Got none like that.
Hmm most likely I am just overthinking shit. Will try to dumb down, will post how it went
No.7219
>>7218Shit happens Liz, from what you were running away?
If you have the need to dose from time to time maybe get something less destructive.
I hate alcohol, the line between feeling great and losing memory is too thin. Also hangovers suck, never worth it.
No.7220
>>7219Shit day.
Now I am slightly better, just gotta avoid feeding the bad things.
>>7217I think eventually you might figure it out. I figured out what I wanted to do with life the moment I realized most of my thoughts weren't really my own and it was just the same as schizos on imageboards believed.
No.7221
>>7219>Also hangovers suck, never worth it.Hangovers are strangely rare for me. I might have had one or two but not enough to count.
>from what you were running away?My house is host for a real piece of shit, and I am doomed to
coexist with this fucktard.
At least until I get a good enough job that lets me live somewhere else, but then comes my sister with this stupid thing about
you gotta live with your dad so that the land isn't usurped by others and i just wis- no, I will soon enough send it all to hell and just build a life of my own.
I don't care about the loss in money, I just want to be able to be at fucking peace for one second of my life.
No.7222
There's too much to know. Too much to learn. I really don't care about the outside world. Still, I have to learn to live. I can't be without skills. Also, to the people I knew of in highschool or my previous jobs, I'm dead. Don't talk to me. I just want to be alone.
No.7223
>>7222>too much to know. Too much to learnThat's what happens when you wake up too late, I'm in the same spot though. Too bothersome to catch up, hitting exit sounds like good alternative for me.
>>7221>so that the land isn't usurped by othersWhat, how does it works?
If it's like that I would try to survive there. Houses are too expensive
No.7225
>>7223It's common for people to just take others land here
No.7227
Politics are everywhere. Just leave me alone. No more people. No more society. I just want to stay in my room. Too bad I have to work on my feet. More suffering.
No.7229
>>7227>Too bad I have to workAh a fellow wageslavie, whatcha doin
This job made me feel e-commerce and anything related to it.
JUST 3 MORE MONTHS TO SURVIVE, unless they kick me sooner which would be unfavorable and that has high chances.
GRRR hear how angry I am at everything!!
No.7233
>>7229I do retail at a gas station. The job's tiring and my legs hurt, but I leave at 3 PM at the latest, so I can rest for the rest of the day.
No.7239
>>7233Update: The gas station is getting more customers and management wants us to pick up the pace. We'll still be paid the same, of course, but we just have to move faster. I don't think they're going to be assigning more workers, either. I want to leave.
No.7245
Too bad you don't have an Aldi nearby. Their cashiers have stools.
No.7248
>>7247One day, long ago, I decided to use Linux Mint. When using it, I realized a lot of programs, like their document program, ran faster. Also, their version of "windows explorer" or whatever was also faster. Microsoft word always froze up when saving, pasting, etc. while explorer would freeze up when searching. Never for Linux. I don't like using the command line very much, but I much prefer it over the Windows command line. It's way more powerful, flexible, and accessible imo. Nowadays, I've only used linux on my laptop, but it's finally lost network connectivity, so I stopped using it. I might get it repaired or something.
No.7257
>JUST 3 MORE MONTHS TO SURVIVE, unless they kick me sooner
Oops, got kicked out 2 weeks ago.
But my mood is better now.
I think that the issue was being too active mentally with no proper way of reliefing stress.
After getting bored and staring at walls/lying down for most of 3 days it did the magic.
Will test this one out when I feel terrible again.
Also stopped reading Bible, sorry to Liz who recommended it.
It's just not for me.
No.7277
>>7257It's been about a week and a half. How are you doing? Are you staying clean and sleeping well? Do you have a place to stay? I hope you stay safe out there. At least in the U.S., the pigs like to harass homeless people.
No.7278
I find it pretty much impossible to do drugs like alcohol, watch mo
YO What the heck?
The formatting on this post screwed up big time.
Okay, it's back to normal.
Anyways, it's hard for me to do drugs or watch movies. I can't really celebrate holidays, either. My brain says to keep doing the same stuff and that starting things is hard. Also, work gets me tired, and after sleeping after work, I only have like, four hours to do stuff, so I want to have fun. You can't blame me for that, can you?
No.7292
My mind is a prison and sleep is the key
I want this nightmare to end
I want to be FREE
The internet is the jailer,
My prison is vast,
My world is a sea of gray
present mixes with past
I'm tired, man. While in some people's youth, they regret their choices and ignorance when they were kids, but instead of that, I made no choices. Life has become a blur that passes me by. And while these things, people, events, pass me by, I find myself unable to care or even express myself. I see kids younger than me go on to other things while I feel like I'm in a time loop. Even typing this out or saying all this, I have these doubts in my head. Even wizchan and this site give me no relief. I see the sad posts on wizchan and I end up feeling nothing. I come to this place, and it's pretty much dead. There's really no other place I go to.
If this were a video game, I would have turned off the system and restarted my game, but I can't restart my life and I don't want to turn it off.
No.7293
woo bud, sounds like you gotta let go of many things and ideals that are keeping you weak and strive for the best from this clean image of yourself.
No.7294
>>7292What
>>7293 Liz said.
Also that may sound like rambling, but maybe it will help you like it did for me.
You should get rid of someone's thoughts/views about you from your head.
Untill you realize that these thoughts are fake and basically previous experiences on loop, it's gonna hurt.
I mean, it's super rare to self hate without experiencing it first from outside world.
No.7297
>>7296Yes, I'd like to be normal, but it seems I forgot the memo and got stuck in these lairs for too long.
No.7298
>>7297>I'd like to be normalAhahah. Wrong chan buddy
What's up with people like you? Going to places where others are reclusive by choice.
To cry about loneliness and their failed normie life.
Can't you just fuck off to a place dedicated for such issues?
Why shit all over this place with your normal faggotry…
Is this concept so hard to grasp?
No.7300
>>7298It's not healthy to believe things that way bud.
No.7301
>>7300>not healthy to believe things that wayHaha what way? Sounds like you have some interesting backstory about me.
I just pointed to look somewhere while being a dick about it.
Can do it nicely too. LOOK
>>7295Hewlo, if imageboards are not for you…
Perhaps finding some friends in online game might help you.
There are also discord groups but idk how that works.
Honestly the best place to find a friend is getting a penpal through Slowly app.
thought I needed something like that and left after realizing it being different cause Social medias are not a place for it.
It is a lengthy process but I believe that everyone can find their soulmate if they try long enough.
>Will I be forever alone?No, don't worry about it. Some day you will not feel like that but first you must put some effort into it and keep trying.
FIRST STEP WOULD BE RESPECTING THE FUCKING NORMS ON SOME DEAD SITE THEN TRY IRL. WITHOUT THAT YOU WILL BE A ANNOYING FUCK-UP LIKE YESTERDAY
No.7393
Sometimes I think "I don't want to do this any more", but I don't know what I don't want to do. The closest thing that comes to mind is "everything". It's not about doing something else in life, but life itself is tiring. I'm sure other people have thought this before, too. I also get this weird feeling or realization that I am one of many people in my community, city, county, state, country, etc. There are other people around, and it's just that we're all separated by our houses. Weird feeling.
No.7443
>>7442>IT'S A KILLER MIGRAINE I wish
No.7444
>>7443no killing just a lot of puking.
Right after preparing bunch of food the aura hit me.
Well with the plate full it would be shame to wait few hours.
I should chew more
