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Bury yourself in the ground lizzie
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 No.5993[Last50 Posts]

Remember Lizzies it's bad to hold negative emotions since they build up.


Today I was bullied by vocal tics.
In those few past days I had like few of them unlike motor ones.
I'm really starting to get worried since making weird noises is fucked up

I've found some worrying info.
>Chronic motor tic disorder is a condition that involves brief, uncontrollable, spasm-like movements or vocal outbursts (otherwise called phonic tics), but not both. If both a physical tic and vocal outburst are present, the condition is known as Tourette syndrome.

I really hope it's not tourette. Already have social phobia/anxiety and it would be too much for me to handle.
On top of that meds to make the symptoms more bearable would turn me into zombie. Ahhhh fuuuuck
I'm wondering if I should book a visit to psychiatrist asap or just wait a little longer because I have them for 9 days only.
I wouldn't care if it was mild but my arms are literally sore and it's getting worse.


Thank you. I've felt something bad right now. I was looking at the wikipedia page for pettanko, https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pettanko and it mentioned Tainaka Ritsu, so I try to look up a picture of her, find the K-ON! wiki, and it shows her birthdate as August 21, 1991. Jesus hell this makes me feel old. K-ON came on during 2009. She'd be 29 by now. She's older than me by 4 years, so I'd be a freshman when she was in her senior year. It's all just so jarring I guess. It's so weird to see someone older than you in high school. I don't know if I could watch the anime anymore.

My highschool days weren't great. My life right now is pretty bad too. It's not horrible, but I'm not in a good place now and I'm breaching the point of no return. Even if I recover, I'm sure the memories of inadaquacy will haunt me for the rest of my life. I probably wouldn't feel so bad if I were in a better position I guess. I hope to get better soon.


I have tourettes. The vocal tics aren't as bad as the motor ticks. I used to put my hands above my head grasp my hands together, and do a weird moan when I was in elementary school. It was bad and loud. I didn't really get teased for it thankfully. My vocal ticks are now just throat noises and no motor ticks. I'm very glad for that. If anyone makes fun of you, you can always shame them for making fun of someone whose brain is different from them and shame them for someone else's disabilities. Never stop thinking that you're not to blame here. Once you stop thinking that, the ticks (and maybe other people) start to get ahold of you. I refuse to take blame and feel no shame. If it's tourettes, do the same.


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I hate being forced into situations or organizations I neveer asked to be apart of. The worst part for me is being told to be grateful for it and say thank you as im kicked around by others so they can feel good about themselves.




>breaching the point of no return.
What do you mean by that?
>memories of inadaquacy will haunt me for the rest of my life.
They lose on power with time and there will be new ones covering previous.
Focusing on past is the silliest thing to do, you really shouldn't.

Thank you for those words.
Have you been taking meds for it?
If so I would appreciate some info about how it changed your daily life.
I had similar problem untill I noticed that kindly telling people no with reasoning why gets rid of being drudge and others actually start to respect you.



Generally the point of no return is after 25, but as of now, I'm 25 with no real career. It's more of a point of no return for my psyche. However, I keep on hearing other people graduate college at this time and start their career, so the pressure is lessened there.

>They lose on power with time and there will be new ones covering previous.

Focusing on past is the silliest thing to do, you really shouldn't.

I have recurring dreams about it. It's my main depressor honestly. I hope it'll eventually go away, but I'll always remember the first 25 years of my life, 1/3rd of my life, being miserable. I still have 2/3rds of my life at least.

>Have you been taking meds for it?

If so I would appreciate some info about how it changed your daily life.

Not at all. The tics really aren't noticeable anymore. I still make noticeable sounds, but only some people bring it up. If they do, I'll just explain to them I have Tourettes. Most people understand. It's generally understood that if you make fun of people who have a condition, you're a douchebag and hated. It's in the movies, at least.


>I'll always remember the first 25 years of my life, 1/3rd of my life, being miserable
If you had a bad time growing up, it's a heavy burden for the rest of your life.



I just realized something luckily. Of the 25 years of my life, till 18, I wasn't too stressed. From 20-25 I started failing classes. Five years isn't long at all. I think I can manage getting out of this mess and do well with my life.

I hated school, but it was nowhere near as bad as seeing people of my age range leave a wageslave job while I stay. Soon, I think I can get out myself. Good luck to me. I'm working hard on working + school.


Could have been autistic burnout.



That made me laugh, ngl. I don't have Autism, but I was overreacting. I was looking at my late 20s as an independent section of my life instead of a small section of my overall life. I've grown, and I hope to outgrow my current job. I might actually be fine since my father got into I.T. at 25 (except with a degree in comp sci). If I manage to get my foot in the door and graduate before 26, I'll be pretty happy.

My mood kinda fluctuates between intense worrying and these realizations.


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>If I manage to get my foot in the door and graduate before 26
If you don't wanna feel lonely, I also kinda hope that for myself.


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You need to go to sleep!


uh oh, it looks like someone ate too much Halloween candy. I bet your mommy and daddy had a real hard time putting you to bed last night.



I know how that feels, liz. I don't think I'll be going anywhere else soon. At least we can be poor together though.


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I can't believe my banana republic had a better election than the leaders of the free world


America has always been a corrupt place, being founded by a bunch of Freemasons and all. But now it's become very transparent how broken things are, which is good in a sense.


Freemasons > Jews


yes exactly, you know what's going on


"It's the mystery of the droods, they all have an attitude."


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>try to charge money to my prepaid debit card
>it's been a whole day and my money hasn't been deposited yet
>wanted to play Sakuna Of Rice and Ruin
>keyboard controls were an ungodly abomination and I'm too poor to buy a decent controller
>enrolled to college for a programming course since the ones I found online were absolute dogshit (not american so I don't have to worry about muh debt)
>they tell me I'm already enrolled in a virtual classroom but I can't for the love of god find it and I don't seem to be inscripted in anything according to my profile
>have to be asking to total strangers in the internet if they're inscripted to the very same course in hopes they give me the URL of the classroom
thank god there's drugs in this world


Why would you post such a creepy image on a comfy board faggot.


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Because that's how I feel, queer.


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Arigato for the nightmares :3


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>they tell me I'm already enrolled in a virtual classroom but I can't for the love of god find it
Oh hello I had the same shit happen to me. Missed three weekends because of that.
Imagine that IT school which is in top 5 in the city has tons of outdated links on their website.
Thanks to that I was connecting to Skype virtual classes that nobody used.
Fortunately I made a smart decision of talking to some random guy in class and we exchanged contacts.

He told me that they're using MS Teams when I asked lately what's up.

Anyway check your school email or personal one for info.


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Don't you guys sometimes believe you're living in a nightmare, and everyone living close to you is exacerbating that nightmare and perpetuating it?


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this week for sure. it definitely felt like the people around me were conspiring to stress me out


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Not even like conspiring, it's just that their common behaviour is off, or wrong, not right, but they behave like that normally.
Like a dog that tears off a part of his skin, he's not harming you, but what he's doing is wrong and it gives the sensation of a nightmare where wrong is the norm, and illegal is legal, where red is considered blue and denying it brings a world of trouble.


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Just think less, you silly.
You're overthinking stuff


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maybe I should sleep better


Yea its really jarring.
Weird to see how reactionary others you once thought normgroids turn into the very cancer you make fun of and laugh at online.
I honestly take it for granted that Im not mentally handicapped like these people are.
Truly peak clown existence.


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>dark winter
more like CRINGE winter.
This year is ass and nothing happened.
Youd think warmies would learn by now not to trust the mediajew and not fall for imaginary hype.


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Yesterday I had a visit to neurologist specialised in tics.
Turned out that yet another psychiatrist gave me unnecessary jewpills so I'm off from them.
Good news is that I'm not sick but stressed by everything which resulted in dissociative movement disorder.
Soooo if I learn to chill out or just stress less then it will be gone.
Bad news is that I have to spend cash on therapy because it's getting worse and it looks like my self observation doesn't move forward. Sooo there goes my cash.

At least I'm slowly returning to my intelligence. I've never expected jewpills to make me that dumb. I couldn't remember where I left things that I had in hand half a minute ago and talked the same shit to the same certain family members while not remembering it up to 4 times.
BTW I had small doses (literally the smallest possible) which were "too low to be helpful", yet it fucked me over.

Fuken jeeeews


cute pic
good job getting off the pill jew


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>local imageboard just closed down out of a sudden
Goddamnit, it was a shithole yes but it was very cathartic seeing it, also the paranormal section it had was fucking great. Lots of crazy wackos, stories and untapered knowledge.
I'll miss it man, God dang it.


Which one? You're among friends here.


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voxed.net, it was a shithole, but it was my shithole


Thanks, so far I'm constantly angry and sad for no reason. It's so annoying


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Whenever I hear warmies say the phrase "live your best life" I get really mad for some reason. I just want to respond with a firm "fuck you".




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Why? Are you not living your best life?


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sure liz, everything is going exactly as planned


Wizchan is a mixed bag. Sometimes it's full of warmies, sometimes not.


I can't even be bothered to look at the site anymore. That sites been dead to me for a long time now.


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helped my dad unload some gasoline
now I smell all like gas and ass


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So I'm moving out and tomorrow signing papers.
My Boss had connections with person renting a flat so it was cheaper since it has two rooms I asked a trustworthy guy that I know for 6 years (I wouldn't call him a friend).
That relation looked like this
>yo can help me with x
There never was a situation which would have negative effect on trust

Today that guy changed his mind and I have to pay the rent and flat deposit all by myself until I find some random to live with.
since obviously I don't have any other person that I talk with

The problem is that I only have a half of money for the upcoming payment (8 days if I remember correctly)

Which forces me to sell almost every belonging of mine.
I'm going to have nothing more than phone and clothes for few weeks.

No furniture is there nor stuff like plates.
If it wasn't bad enough I'm forced to move in and live there for like two weeks without stove and electricity

I CANNOT cancel signing the papers since renter already prepared the flat to look okayish.
On top of that he's the one who rents place for Boss' office.
If I did it would destroy the trust of those two people and worst case scenario he would charge more money from Boss out of anger or fire me just because.

Now I'm truly alone lizard when I can't rely even on family.

I'm not sad or angry, just surprised. Well at least there will be some semi-interesting blogposts from me.


Couldn't you find a studio apartment or basement suite in your area on craigslist or something? You shouldn't have to sell all your belongings to get a months rent. And the roommate thing sounds like it could be a nightmare, I figured guys that post here would prefer to live alone.


So you have to pawn your stuff. I foresee ramen noodles in your immediate future.


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Just tried talking to my mother asking why she is angry.
Instead of answer curses were spelled and things that happened years ago were brought back.
I calmly asked why she always wanted to kick me out but now she doesn't when has less money, is it all about money?
More curses and shouts were spit at me.
It's kinda sad when there is no one at home that can talk like an adult.

The whole flat has stupid placement of things. Like super tiny shower room is inside one room and the toilet is outside of the flat, next to the front doors.
It's gonna be fucking hard to find someone else to live with.

This is not bery nice. Bury pink gril help


I would prefer to live alone. The thing is that the whole offer was quite cheap when divided by two.
I can not quit since that could do some trouble since the Boss taken his time to get it so cheap and he is also renting office from that guy.
Studio wouldn't be cheaper than this offer and renting a single room could be a nightmare since there are other people.
Unfortunately ramen noodles are not that cheap here


>renting a single room could be a nightmare since there are other people

Other people outside of your place. Your studio apartment would have a lock on the door.

>ramen noodles are not that cheap

Do you live in Nunavut or something? Ramen is cheap everywhere.


>is it all about money?
It might as well be.


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Nevermind, looks like I just made up the whole "I CANNOT cancel signing the papers".
I'm losing my sanity and the worst part is I'm being told about this from others and I can't see it.

I'm not sure if I understand but there are no offers like that it's either entire flat or just a room with everything else shared.
>Ramen is cheap everywhere.
Never noticed it until now,I've seen only two Brands of ramen noodles and one is imported expensive hot stuff,weird ,weird.
I guess it's just a combination of meternal (animalistic) instincts and money,nothing more than that.


>I'm not sure if I understand

A studio apartment is just an apartment with a room and a bathroom, no bedroom. One might not be available in your area. My city is so damn expensive that they're the only places somewhat affordable for a guy making minimum age. And even then they rent for over $1000 a month.


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Is it just me or after corona stuff more cringe showed up?

I can't stand it.
ALL I want do to is to tell people to kill themselves.
It's kinda edgy but also cringe.


wanted to see how is it going on lizchan, left it like 3 years ago and oh my I regret it


I meant coming back to it. Oh and did lizadmin got rid of delete post option?


Isn't the delete post option visible to you?


Nvm, the fault was on my device. It works now


>corona stuff more cringe

Ever since covid hit Italy it's been total cringe here. People seen the footage of hospitals in Italy and worked themselves into a hysteria, when later I found out that Italian hospitals always get oversaturated like that because of the high geriatric population.

First it was the idiotic lockdowns where a lot of the businesses I enjoy going to got shut down and everyone got to stay at home and not work except for me. And now that the stimulus payments have dried up it's the fucking maasks and social distancing rules. I could care less about holidays being cancelled and clubs being shuttered tbh.


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looking at the empty beer cans all around my place makes me feel self-conscious


Not even halfway through and I'm already sick of December. I just want this stressful consumerist month to end.


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I'm after payday and it turned out that it's less than was stated. It's even below the minimum wage.
I don't understand. Everything was done great and praised yet this happens.
Welp if the next one will be similar then new job must be found.
SHIEEET all my hype for this is gone.


If you're asking if I work retail then no. I hate the gift giving aspect of the holiday. I don't know what to get anyone, I don't really like shopping, and I don't even like receiving gifts. People always get me things I don't want or need and it always results in more clutter around my place.


It truly is better to give than to receive.


I'd agree with that. I've never been comfortable with being given things by other people. I'd be happy if people just got me beer and lotto tickets for shitmas, things that I would actually enjoy getting and won't clutter my place up.


I feel like I'm going insane! I don't want to be on this planet anymore.


Of course you'd feel that way when you don't shop at Waitrose.


Why, does Waitrose not do the mask shit?


It's a joke because it's higher up the price chain. I'm not even a bong.


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I fucking hate christmas.


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It's like the worst aspects of the people you hate increase exponentially this day and new years' eve. Fucking hate it, I wish I could just shut myself down in my room and don't have to interact with anybody, but that's an impossibility when you live with your parents


I guess I have it easy compared to you.


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>everyone cleans stuff
>awkward sittings
>yummy food

It's not so bad.

We didn't celebrate it like year ago. NOOOOOOO
Probably all those Lizzies are dead. RIP
me on the bottom right corner


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Cont. It's so sad.
It just reminded me how everything felt much better then.
Now there is just emptiness.

Fuck liz that left 2nd reincarnation unpaid even though we could donate and stated our will.
I still have no idea why he didn't do shit nor told us about it. BUT after some time posted on wizchad
Like okay but 3 lizards wanted to help AAAAAAAAAAA


I can't stand family get-togethers. The only people in my family I find tolerable are my grandparents and it's because they're about as isolated and broken as me. Thank God this month is almost over.

>Probably all those Lizzies are dead

Not me (Homer in bed).


Would you be surprised if I told you that I was three out of those images?


You were only suppose to be in one. How can we ever have a nice lizchan group photo with cheaters like you?


I have many clones


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I've developed a bad habit of talking to myself, probably because of all the time spent alone. Most of the time it's just swearing in frustration. I probably seem crazy to the normies that catch me doing it.


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>Damn that clown xD

Imo The most normal people talk to themselves almost always when focused/angry/annoyed.

So many do this, I don't think anybody will look at you differently, except me lmao


>most normal people

I think I do it in excess, to the point where I might come across like a schizophrenic. I sometimes have to stop talking while in public and force myself to speak internally.

>except me lmao

er you motherfucker… bastard dur shithead… faggots…


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I always do things in last moments.
Did the same with whole studying.
Today I understood that it's time to actually do something.
Checks 3 sites of university where all the info should be stored.
>E M P T Y

Wow great so the whole education system is in the middle ages. If you didn't pay attention on web classes then you know nothing. It's not even recorded or something.
I was so sure that there will be at least some info when to pass exams and stuff that I didn't bother checking. Since it was obvious to me.

IT school so they will for sure make use of the Internet. Well nope. Even my previous shitty schools had online book with all the necessary info.
I have no idea for what I was paying but gotta quit this shit

Hmmm so what do I do now to not work for the lowest wage till I die?

I have no idea, so lost. I don't want to be an adult, my vision is being crushed by retarded reality.
Damn, I'm manbaby after all with no skills nor plans for the future.

>probably because of all the time spent alone.
I don't think it works like that.
I'm no expert but I think you just got used to talking out loud, gotta break the habit.
Easiest solution is ball gag. Harder - therapy idk


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getting really sick of dishonest people, especially the types looking just to backstab for fun or change the narrative to make you believe for a second they did nothing wrong

and IM suppose to be more trusting of people? and whats worse is if i trust one side, the other will get upset and have a go at me. fucking animals all of them


>Hmmm so what do I do now to not work for the lowest wage till I die?

Normies get ahead in the workplace largely by networking and having confidence. Believe me, I've seen them bullshit their way into positions a thousand times. You'd need to have some awesome skills to make up for your lack of these attributes and even then your expected to have some social skills.

You might have to come to terms with the fact that you're not a high valued human. I did.


>You might have to come to terms with the fact that you're not a high valued human.
Oh that explains much to me.
I mixed up being valuable person with valuable human. Thank you for that reality check.
I guess I will just stick to being no one. Forcing myself to fake Chad-like behaviour maybe could make my situation better although I would suffer every second of it.

Anyway how did you bare with that fact? Tried to fight it or just gave up?


>how did you bare with that fact?

I developed low self esteem that bears down on me everyday.

>Tried to fight it or just gave up?

ha I'm probably the worst person to give life advice. I dropped out of a bunch of things. High school, college, the military. If you think you can handle the pressure of dealing with various responsibilities maybe try to advance a little in life, but if you get overwhelmed easily people need to learn to meet you where you're at.


This weekend gonna be great just slept 11 hours so I will have plenty of energy
>wakes up
>urinary tract infection


It could always be worse. At least your tract infection will probably go away after some antibiotics.

A lot of older guys get constipation all the time and have to lug around bowels full of feces that won't come out. Imagine trying to enjoy a nice meal when you haven't taking a shit for three days.


Just eat mung bean sprouts.


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I've been eating nothing but bean sprouts for a week and I still can't take a dump!


Try douche maybe


heh I think you mean an enema


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I have something in my skin in my left leg right next to my crotch. It's red and it burns and it feels as my skin is about to fall off.
My whole body is falling apart


sounds like you may need to see a dermatologist my lizard


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I've been having such a hard time remembering things lately, every couple of minutes I have a brain fart. I feel like an old man.


Same here but mine is from drug abuse when I was a dumb teenager what's yours from anon?


I have similar problem but it's caused by me going on autopilot.
Rather shitty autopilot.
In that state I'm not focused at all and tend to turn off all the logical thinking resulting in many mistakes.
I may be turning into warmie flesh running purely on instincts lol
My theory says that this happens from too much stimuli.
What drugs and how often?
I've been using dxm once a month at max as teen and I think it had no negative impact on me except my social phobia getting worse for like a week or so


>drug abuse when I was a dumb teenager

Exactly the same with me probably. I developed quite the drug habit when I was a teenager. I'm afraid that by the time I'm in my 40s I'm gonna be a drooling burnout.


It was DXM abuse for me but I did it way more often and didn't really care if it was triple C's or not which also fucked with my memory. Glad it didn't fuck with you as bad as me anon.
Same here that is also my fear.


It's the worst mainstream drug to take frequently especially at young age.
Were you aware of that? Or just didn't bother to study the substance.

I'm sure that if I didn't look things up it would end in taking it more often.

My pseudo suicide attempt included 1275mg of it.
Fortunately for me, it had no negative effects.


>My pseudo suicide attempt included 1275mg of it.

Wow, and was that in purple drank or gel caps? Correct me if I'm wrong but that must of been like 5 bottles of syrup. I hope your internal organs are ok.


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>excited about days off during weekday wage drudgery
>spend all weekend sleeping

every weekend I'm like this. I haven't even finished getting my grocery shopping done yet


2 x 300mg gelcaps + 300 syrup + and some round tablets

Like year after this I had every organ checked and they scored better than average. So it didn't affect me in any way.


That must of been a pretty big handful of gelcaps, you must of swallowed like 30 of them. You would probably need to take way more to overdose. It sounds like you took enough for a long and heavy trip, I hope you enjoyed it.


Some old women gave me shit today for not wearing a mask. I wanted to snap at her but I knew everyone around would all jump to her defence. Why can't people just mind their own fucking business?


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Oh please not this topic again.


we're all having to deal with this mask shit right now. this is the vent thread you know


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>spend all day playing video games
>still suck at them

it feels like I'm wasting my life away


>still suck at them
Are you actually playing to get better or just a matter of habit/addiction?
There is a huge difference between those two even if you don't notice it yourself, speaking from experience.
It's all about thinking through every move and learning from mistakes instead of running on autopilot.

>it feels like I'm wasting my life away

It is a waste if you see it as one.

I noticed that my life will be a waste whatever I do since some personal problems just can not be solved.
So I do not feel bad about wasting time because it was "kinda predefined" from the start.
I'm free to do anything I want


>playing to get better or just a matter of habit/addiction

More of the latter than the former truthfully. I'm trying to use save states less so I can get better at games but I still play badly. I have poor concentration so my mind is always wandering off the game, leading to frequent deaths.

>personal problems just can not be solved

I guess that's true for me too.


You *are* wasting your life away with video games and that is a fact. There is nothing transferable to other parts of your life that you can obtain from video games. People attacked Joe Rogan when he mentioned this because he made a stupid comparison with judo where with judo you can eventually open a dojo or whatever. It's stupid, as sports are just as equally as non-transferable as video games. Unless you devote your entire life to a video game or sport you will not get anywhere with it but even if you do then it comes maintaining your high ranking which you will not be able to do indefinitely.

There are two ways you can succeed in life: become one of the best in something that already exists, or invent something new and become successful simply because you were the first person to invent it. As it turns out former is much harder than the latter and with diminished returns. There is a reason why businesses usually look for NEW business opportunities rather than look at who they can compete with. Of course, you can be mediocre at something that already exists (which is where most of us are), or invent something that nobody gives a shit.

There are also many ways to fail at life as well which is get addicted to drugs, get arrested, fall extremely ill etc. video games are usually not going to destroy your life the way many other things would but it would not bring anything to your life either, that is unless you declare your life *is* about playing video games. Which is dangerous because it's not sustainable. You will eventually starve or fall I'll and video games are not going to help you there. I guess at least nowadays there are ways to make your life worth with video games such as streaming (not getting into the fact watchers are themselves wasting their life) if you truly want to make your life revolve around nothing but video games. It's just that video games are in general a poor thing to devote your life to, not that you should never play vidya, sports or read books etc. just because they are dead ends, because devoting your life to being productive 24/7 is going to devoid your life of any enjoyment and in and of itself is a wasted life.

I talk about this as someone who devoted his twenties to giggling at stupid shit on the internet every day for 16-17h and someone who thought a lot about wasting his life. I have a degree (a Ph.D) at giggling at stupid shit. I don't know how to transfer my skill of giggling on stupid shit. Starting a meme channel sounds like a stupid idea to me even though it's probably the only thing that can make these years spent worth. So for all intents and purposes, my life is wasted for a little bit of gratification occurring intermittently and I imagine video games are the same way.


>There are two ways you can succeed in life

That all sounds very hard. I don't think I can monetize anything I'm good at. I'm just gonna lay down and rot.


Huh I've got banned on my pc for spam but never did anything that broke the rules what.


Maybe your IP accidentally matched somebody else's who was spamming?


File: 1613178232049.jpg (21.35 KB,640x426,mess.jpg)

My dream is to be retired by 40. If I can't accomplish this I think I'll go insane.


How old are you now, liz?
How much more to go?


early 30s. if I can pay some things off and then work for a few more years I might just be able to pull it off


obligations and wage slavery have gotten me so worn and stressed out these past couple of days, it feels like a steam roller drove over top of me


I apparently have seven months to gtfo of my parent's home. They might be moving or something. I have a sister who I can live with for as little as 300 a month. It's a steal and might secure my life for a little longer. Otherwise, I'm going to have to die or go homeless. I would rather choose the former.


>7 months
That's a lot of time to prepare for this. You got this liz


if he's anything like me he'll procrastinate for the next six months, playing video games and trying not to think about the inevitable


File: 1614184674979.png (500.2 KB,800x498,Jeb_Bush.png)

Does anyone here ever feel so stressed out that it feels like their head is going to explode?


>head is going to explode
Hahaha no,
rather make my head explode



God this hits so true. Luckily my sister is a liar and it's actually seven years. I hope I don't screw up.


>don't screw up

yes exactly, try be as low profile as the furniture so when they finally move they'll take you with them


File: 1616287416265.jpg (80.6 KB,700x1245,alzZqwBr_700w_0.jpg)

Okay I'm done with loud normal faggot neighbours

It's about time I get ripped and smash their fucking skulls.

My whole body hurts from a quick workout.
Although one day it will be capable of making destruction and bringing fear into dumb eyes of brainlets.


>loud normies have the wrath of satan upon them

I wouldn't want to be them right now.


Calm down satan.


File: 1616805278501.jpg (157.3 KB,1280x720,snake_eats_lizard.jpg)

Another week of things totally not going my way. Can't a liz ever catch a break?


Tell us what happened now, liz.


Just a deal that I was planning to make fell through. It might still happen but I was hoping to get it done with this week. Nothing can ever go smoothly for me, everything needs to be more complicated than it has to be.


a-am I banned or was the site down? I'm paranoid lizzies.


fug I forgot how to sage


You aren't banned!


if it gets any hotter out I might sweat to death. I wish ac was easier to install


Just keep a fan by your side like I do, no need for AC


when it's gets up to 40C fans don't help that mush



Oh good, I thought it was just me. There was a table error or something and I'm paranoid as hell.


I wish I could blow up the sun.


You might want something like this, it works great for me.


>portable AC
I watched this video saying those suck.


im getting an AC installed today. very exciting.


how dare you get AC before me you bastard


you should get a better and faster landlord (mum) like i have


I'm my own landlord, and I'll openly admit to being a miserly person. I try to always spend as little as possible, even if it means baking in the heat all summer.


how does a lizard end up owning property?


I bought my run down little place many years ago when real estate in my city was cheap. It's nice not having to live with parents.


Had to use the toilet but mother was taking a bath since 20 minutes.
Asked her kindly to just leave it for sec.
She got mad. Explained her that I really have to use it. Nope
Told her that I always leave the bathroom in a sec and that it's really urgent. Nope

Aaaaand I had to choose between shiting my pants or improvising.

Lizards I present to you the shit jar. Great innovation of stealth and emergency pooping.
Just be careful not to sit on it.
I don't even know how to describe my mother, damn. It's not like she was mad at me or anything. What a cunt


I hate it when people don't appreciate the importance of bowel movements. Just remember liz to empty your shit jars at regular intervals. Unlike piss jugs they'll attract flies fast.


Thank you for the tip but that's the last time I used a jar.
That whole situation made me so mad that I decided to move out.
Good timing as my Boss decided to rent a flat.
It has two rooms so I'm staying in one. Quite expensive but that's a huge change when it comes to living conditions.
So far only till 15th October after that he'll decide if I can stay longer or not.
If not then he'll help me with the paperwork and finding something else.

Didn't know that such unselfish people existed irl
Couldn't get more lucky


nice, hopefully you'll get your own bathroom at your new place


File: 1633816575696.jpg (7.59 KB,250x250,3467.jpg)

Made a fool out of myself at the store today. I thought for sure they got the price wrong and was so full of myself until they corrected me. This is the second time this has happened. I really need to start double checking things.


I think i'm starting to become a alcholic


leave it, alcohol sucks

I would rather smoke weed and just be comfy and lazy


I would smoke weed if i had a dealer beer makes me bloated as fuck


based. what do you like to drink liz?


Oh rip

Anyway it's much better for liz to learn to live sober.
Druglyfe always has hardcore downsides sooner or later. Speaking from experience and stuff


just bud light platinum


Never had that beer, I don't think it's even available where I live. 6% light beer, I'd probably turn into a drunk if I could get my hands of that stuff. The 6% beer that I get is a bit rough going down.


What do you drink?


Yikes, I always thought that having certain amount of money will make me feel good and safe.

Turns out I will always feel like depressed retard unless I'm occupied with playing LoL all the time or just come to terms with myself which is impossible, lol
That's really shitty and I haven't played for quite some time.

Got drunk aaaand I can't see sense in anything that I'm doing, no motivation whatsoever.

Got few traumas since I'm oversensitive. If my parents wouldn't rekt me for being myself years ago, I could live my life in peace. Now I'm struggling to do anything while I'm in place to do everything I want.

At least a little understanding from them would help but nah.
They can't see their faults.
I wish they would do the opposite so I could think that I'm not fucked up


I always thought that I'm at fault but lately noticed that those are not my thoughts, just theirs.
I don't know how to fix this.
It's written so deep inside me that at this point my life is being moved by their vision of me.
While I think I'm the one in charge.

Had a talk with them today, basically just took my anger on them but it didn't help.
They still think they did everything right.
Never going to contact them again


File: 1635389565207.jpg (187.97 KB,400x400,wildcat_strong.jpg)

beer - mostly cheap local stuff or whatever is on sale. wildcat is the beer I probably buy the most

cocktails - vodka and dr pepper, caesars, vodka and oj, rum (captain morgan) and coke. I'm a vodka fan, it mixes well with most drinks

I also like to drink jagermeister around this time of the year.


>Never going to contact them again

brutal. they must of wronged you pretty bad


i've had jagermieister but i usually add it with red bull


A jagerbomb? I've been meaning to try one of those.


Yeah, they fucked me up pretty bad

Everyday I'm haunted by the thoughts that they put into me.
Always thought that I'm just fucked up but after few talks with therapist and opinions of other people.
It all makes sense, basically I'm judging my every action just how they would in the worst case scenario.

I'm sure it wouldn't have such effect if my father wasn't tormenting me physically and mentally.

Thought that lack of saved money and safe place was the issue.
Unfortunately those problems are with me wherever I am and it doesn't matter how much money I have.

I could pretty much do everything now, yet I'm feeling like shit.
There is nothing that I want to do outside of being isolated.

My own person makes me disgusted and depressed.
No goal, motivation or joy.
Kinda cringe lol


>I could pretty much do everything now, yet I'm feeling like shit.

You say that but you probably feel at least 10% less shitty than when you were trapped with mom and dad.


Father wasn't living there so it was pretty chill.

Actually I feel more shitty now lol
Well door to my room is always open so I will see if it helps when I keep closed.
Maybe such a silly thing will do wonders



-got addicted to cryptocurrencies
-struggling to exchange it to normal currency

-I have a good amount of money in my cryptowallet

Holy shit I'm retarded. Can't bear with my mind so I need to be constantly focused on something which always results in addiction.
It's not like I'm going to use those funds for something meaningful. I'm wearing rags lol
What drives me towards holding it is a opportunity to just save enough funds one day for some shack and be a shut-in till I die.

I will try to start backing off funds tomorrow from what my NFTs are mining.
I was so sure that I won't lose my mind over it, damn


you should try to at least exchange some of your internet monopoly money for real cash, the price could bottom out any day now


Thank you for the reply, I'm going to do it since saneliz word means much to me.


File: 1637202681797.png (178.81 KB,500x600,insane_liz.png)


ha, I wish


I feel like doing so much LSD fucked me up mentally because of one bad trip i had oh well


Oh then I should not take this tip into consideration.
Internet magic money ftw
Had two huuuuge bad trips on LSD and for me it changed nothing.
Psychedelics are just not for me

What happened?


nothing too crazy just was tripping way too hard and couldn't handle the anxiety and felt like i was legit going insane and then ended having a bad mental breakdown doesn't help that i'm lonely and depressed


LSD isn't for people who aren't happy with their life, why do you think all the homeless bums choose crack and heroin over psychedelics. My personal drug of choice is New York Sour Diesel, it always relaxes me.


Good thing I didn't do what I wrote. I'm making x3 daily now lol
Top ten epic internet money


File: 1638222056207.mp4 (40.1 KB,460x460,anne2Vjd_700wv_0.mp4)

I had no motor tics for quite some time. Thought that this chapter is finished

Unfortunately not, it came back like few days ago. It's getting worse and worse.
Can't control my body at this point. Today was my worst second case ever of this bullshit.
My body was making huge jerk movements and vocal tics kicked in.
It felt like my person went outside of my body and started screaming at me while in a body there was someone else.
I couldn't control anything and my hands were hitting me in the head and now it hurts.

What the fuck, my life was going so well. I'm done
I've used to have some mental problems in my life but they were actually easy to understand.
Like "oh I feel like that because something something, it's not real I just think it is"

BUT NOW everything sounds like I'm making this up. Tried to calm myself down thinking hey I'm the one making this. I will just stop and it got worse when I tried

Sounds like I need to take jew pills but I'm scared that it will get worse hahah fuck


Oh wow, now I'm in panic.
I have a feeling like someone will break into the house and harm me or someone already got in.
Wanted to check if the door is locked but I couldn't, I'm scared too much.

The fuck is happening haha
Looks like all my mental illnesses decided to wake up at the same time. Wonderful


my mental illness is less about worrying people might have broken in and more about checking the door 50 times to make sure it's locked


That's why you only take LSD if your depressed AND enjoy psychological and existential horror.
Love horror movies or games while I forget who I am, ascribe grander meanings to things, and get trapped on puzzles for minutes that feel like hours.
Always lock my door and test it, makes piss breaks a pain though.


File: 1638966331773.jpg (1.32 MB,3264x1836,cat.jpg)

The person who raised me died recently, I'm always alone but they were one of the only people who acted invested in me, I took care of them for the last few years and with my declining mental state I did more to darken the mood than lighten it.

I left my cat with their spouse, and for some reason I miss them a lot right now. They'd follow me everywhere, sleep in my lap, bite me when I pet them too much. It's weird realizing the only being that enjoys my company that's still alive, is a cat, probably with stockholm syndrome.


Lost my phone today,had a bank account on it either phone number that doesn't exist anymore.

The only way to switch is to go to bank and show them ID. I also lost it today with my two hoodies in a bag although at different time.

Previously I lost my bank card.

I have no money at hand.
I'm living alone. Guess I'm just gonna starve then.

Holy fuck what the fuck is going on. I keep losing stuff.
Lmfao I guess I need a caretaker

At this point I see no other reasonable fix to this current situation than suicide. Tho I can't afford that either.

That's a lot of stuff to do and interactions with other people.
I'm glad that I have social phobia :-DDDD that's definitely gonna help

Tomorrow I have a ton of shit to do at work. Jesus, it would be so nice to die in sleep today.


Our reptilian lord is trying to teach you all you need is him, lizchan, and an internet connection.
I'm so scared of losing shit I'll constantly tap my pockets every once and awhile and never bring bags with me unless I keep them in my sight.
Couldn't you get a copy of your birth certificate and contact the bank and they'd freeze it?


brutal, why couldn't you keep the cat?


I'm mostly used to solitude, I left them with the old man because he's been married for 50+ years and now his house is empty, they live in a place she could run around and they get along, while i'm having to live in a city now.


File: 1639249335021.jpg (90.87 KB,1020x1020,1509924557255.jpg)

You are right, that must be it!
I'm not scared of losing I just lose things all the time.
I only do the tap for my keys and phone and e-cigs. Rest is not important!

>Couldn't you get a copy of your birth certificate and contact the bank and they'd freeze it?

Fortunately I disconnected my card before losing phone haha.
Well I found my ID it was outside in the bag with hoodies covered by snow. I forgot to take it inside because I was carrying a chair

Now all I have to do is to go to the bank and hope that they will accept my broken in half ID taped with transparent tape. Then I will be able to change the number and install the app.

Although it's not necessary anymore. Thankfully crypto exchange in which I have acc has option to make you a debit card!
I did it yesterday and it's online now, already ordered groceries with it.
Magic internet money literally saved my life

me in the pic


Typical liz, first stage of dementia, digital money investor, one of our cults own prototypes.
What's got you so busy?


Welp I got disowned, get to move back with my cat though that'll be nice.


Since I started living on my own, life feels like speedrun.
Days pass so fast, my memory gets worse and I have no energy.

Honestly it scares me deeply, the feeling of losing control.
Like I'm becoming less and less aware of everything going on.

Weird shit, does every adult Liz life feels like that?


Cont. >>6943
Stupid mood swings
Nevermind, now I feel like a badass


i just quit my shitty wage cuck job god fuck this society and shit hole of a planet


Same, I quit my job a few weeks ago. It was a pain leaving because I've been there so long but now it's finally concluded. Hopefully now I can get my mental health back under control.


>fuck this society and shit hole of a planet

woah Lizzies, why did you quit and what were you doing?


i was working a shitty warehouse job i literally told the manager "i'm out" and walked out


plant I was working at was closing. wasn't getting any severance so I just left


I'm trying to get back into IT jobs because they are chill compared to shitty manual labor.


Ah waow, why would you even drop IT.
99% of manual jobs are trash


my dumbass enlisted in the military got out with no skills other than shoot a fucking gun and drive a baby tank yep not much skills


Haha oh shit, you're still here
If I remember correctly this plan was going to turn out rather good?


File: 1640742987742.jpg (79.25 KB,1080x742,1634757974247.jpg)

some Family are dragging me into meeting after christmas and usually rely on me to keep conversations going or to share a smoke with.
It's making me nauseous thinking about it, I've just spent weeks getting up, watching horror movies or gaming, I forget how to act human after so much escapism/isolation.
Like I lose the ability to dissociate or escape for awhile after i'm dragged into social affairs.


didn't really turned out that bad i'm applying for VA benefits and i'll probably become a NEET for a while


File: 1640827218509.jpg (27.07 KB,303x550,81s8ER1h95L._AC_SY550_.jpg)

HONK HONK Lost almost all of my profit in crypto

Dang I was so close to buying cool VAN in which I can live.
Welp easy come easy go. No hard feelings since it didn't change anything for me.
Other than ordering bunch of food.
Still felt like shit and contemplated suicide.

At least now my mind is free of checking charts and stuff.
Well gotta find something else to do


File: 1640832015533.png (407.63 KB,1199x1697,1606857825567.png)

good good, welcome back to the POVERTY ZONE - never leave us


If it makes you feel any better the scratch tickets that I bought today didn't pay out either. If I could just win that $25,000 prize I could take a year off work. Oh well.


File: 1641337139550-0.gif (27.57 KB,160x215,Ms_Kitty.dfa761b4.gif)

Cont. >>6977
Well, I had to fill all that free time and got heavily addicted to League of Legends in like few days lol, again…
I will gladly stay in this zone. It was made for me. Thank you
Oh scratch tickets are cool. They're fun but I'm not gonna risk getting into it hah

I don't feel bad about that unrealized profit. That was fun so I don't mind
Got many NFTs in games and share in project with crypto scholarships that is supposed to launch in Q1 so I'm not done totally.

Watch me not selling it all again when it goes up in value lol


File: 1641341810358.png (171.26 KB,600x600,75e.png)

Oh I'm dumb, just counted NFTs and it's worth even more than that lost profit.
I'm really retarded, totally forgot how much I spent for those.
That's extra dumb how much I put into ponzi magic internet property.

Yet again my own stupidity and lack of critical thinking saved me
When do you Lizzies ape in with me?


Oh no playing games and full isolation does not shut the negative thoughts anymore.
Well, that always worked. I feel like shit

I can't fix the things that are causing it since they're not material at all.
My brain is trying to kill me hah
Stupid crap, has everything it needs and still bothers me


I know, my brain and guts are always sabotaging me. A lot of the time I just want to rest on the couch but the nerves is those two parts in my body keep telling me to be nervous about this or that, making my heart speed up. Not that I would do it but I can sort of understand why some people voluntarily lobotomized themselves back in the day.


File: 1641851559049.jpg (85.63 KB,585x573,serial_experiments_lain_fa….jpg)

Welp got laid off from doing remote stuff.
Now I have to work at place. I was being "not efficient".
Yeah, not efficient. I wonder what I would hear from Boss if I didn't do unpaid overtime hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That just sounds like you have unfinished business that should be taken care of


well i'm not eating taco bell for a while fucking asshole is having a battle right now


>unfinished business

I stress out about nothing. I'm fully aware it's bullshit but like I said my nerves betray me.

stop complaining, you know that taco bell was totally worth the diarrhea


File: 1643322427553.png (111.24 KB,330x477,MJWvnSh.png)

Ah fuck my motor and vocal tics are back.
I have literally nothing to worry about.
Got some money, stable job, living on my own so no one bothers me(renting)
Yet I'm stressed as fuck. Whyyyy

I have to either be focused on work or games. If not then tics are haunting me.
So I'm basically showing middle finger or raising my hand near their faces quite often when coworkes are talking with me lol
At least most of vocal ones appear when i'm alone.
Like saying "hello" "good morning" "quiet" and something like ironic stress laugh.
It's super annoying and I have trouble falling asleep because of that.
Also when those happens my brain feels very umm unpleasant.
Like it would be separated for the time it happens

Hopefully it's just my waifu trying to communicate with me.
Yeah for sure!
No way that there is something wrong with my brain and I will become retarded instead of just dying. Haha
Damn, after rereading all this. It looks worse than I thought. I wonder how crazy it must look like to others hahahah


holy shit, I've been transfered from my room at work to some other one. The lights here are so bright that my eyes hurt. I will have to buy some sunglasses to be able to work here lol
also get a pair of some noise canceling headphones because people keep talking here.

I feel like autist


Shut up wagie, those blinding fluorescent lights are there to make you work harder! And take those headphones out, you need to be able to listen to your boss bark orders at you!


finally the weekend. 2 short days and it's back to hell.
and yet i have no motivation to do anything


>blinding fluorescent lights are there to make you work harder
Aah I see, that explains why it's painful for me
oh yeah, adult life rules when you are in no place to make the rules
>2 short days
I had to do some stuff and on Sunday gotta start cleaning since I'm moving somewhere cheaper and landlord gonna have people coming and lookin. Ahhh that;s gonna be weird

I have to max up my regen on Sunday otherwise I won't make it through the week


Past few days I'm cold sweating and feeling really uncomfortable.
My body became much more sensitive.
Craving for something that I'm not aware of.
This feeling is so annoying and it's getting stronger each day.
Idk what's happening


File: 1690751148628.png (712.5 KB,640x1171,ceo grindset.png)

>Remember Lizzies it's bad to hold negative emotions since they build up.
It's also bad to revolve around them because they become your most common uhhh, thing?
So when you have to deal with life it becomes harder because of the negative output you deal with.
Positive output -> Positive income
CEO Grindset


I hate images of "sensitivity scale" or whatever it's called so much

>Positive output -> Positive income

>too vague
What do


File: 1692650440977.gif (2.68 MB,640x480,967c361d0b1b29ff4c4cb0792c….gif)

For past few years I think about killing myself daily.
There is nothing that motivates me to live and not existing is simply more favorable.
Already did everything I wanted to and at this point it's just getting tiresome.

So I ask you for suggestions on what to do with this state, in exchange I will do that stuff and report here from time to time on how it's going.

My brain chemistry is fine. Couldn't really think of anything that needs improvement when it comes to living conditions.
As I'm fine with how the things are.
Not struggling or anything.

Most common recommended things that I already tried:
-therapy and jewpills
-tripping balls on psychedelics (idk how other people get life-changing results from this)
-tulpas (rofl)

It's just getting so strong that I'm close to ordering stuff to be done with.
Might as well try random things you suggest before I get motivated enough.


File: 1692651511016.png (245.92 KB,360x504,1690860170180949.png)

Give your heart and soul to Jesus Christ (i.e. the only thing you haven't tried).


File: 1692654406834.png (881.46 KB,1090x1129,123.PNG)

Oh no… I had actually typed out a section where I mentioned that I'm open to doing everything except for religious activities, but I ended up deleting it as it seemed unnecessary.

I've committed my word, which means I'm now bound to follow through on this. Thanks

If anyliz has anything that doesn't collide, feel free to add


Almost 6 hours spent on New Testament and seeking info online about it.

>Give your heart and soul to Jesus Christ

Well to fulfill that it's not necessary to read that pile of garbage.
I'm just going to jump onto New Testament.

Beatiful shitposting loop of dude bred then died over and over again. AH truly sacred text

>6 When Seth had lived one hundred five years, he became the father of Enosh. 7 Seth lived after the birth of Enosh eight hundred seven years, and had other sons and daughters. 8 Thus all the days of Seth were nine hundred twelve years; and he died.9 When Enosh had lived ninety years, he became the father of Kenan. 10 Enosh lived after the birth of Kenan eight hundred fifteen years, and had other sons and daughters. 11 Thus all the days of Enosh were nine hundred five years; and he died. 12 When Kenan had lived seventy years, he became the father of Mahalalel. 13 Kenan lived after the birth of Mahalalel eight hundred and forty years, and had other sons and daughters. 14 Thus all the days of Kenan were nine hundred and ten years; and he died. 15 When Mahalalel had lived sixty-five years, he became the father of Jared. 16 Mahalalel lived after the birth of Jared eight hundred thirty years, and had other sons and daughters. 17 Thus all the days of Mahalalel were eight hundred ninety-five years; and he died. 18 When Jared had lived one hundred sixty-two years he became the father of Enoch. 19 Jared lived after the birth of Enoch eight hundred years, and had other sons and daughters. 20 Thus all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty-two years; and he died. 21 When Enoch had lived sixty-five years, he became the father of Methuselah. 22 Enoch walked with God after the birth of Methuselah three hundred years, and had other sons and daughters. 23 Thus all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty-five years. 24 Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him. 25 When Methuselah had lived one hundred eighty-seven years, he became the father of Lamech. 26 Methuselah lived after the birth of Lamech seven hundred eighty-two years, and had other sons and daughters. 27 Thus all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty-nine years; and he died. 28 When Lamech had lived one hundred eighty-two years, he became the father of a son; 29 he named him Noah, saying, “Out of the ground that the Lord has cursed this one shall bring us relief from our work and from the toil of our hands.” 30 Lamech lived after the birth of Noah five hundred ninety-five years, and had other sons and daughters. 31 Thus all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy-seven years; and he died. 32 After Noah was five hundred years old, Noah became the father of Shem, Ham, and Japheth.


I meant 6 for Old, not New*


File: 1692792771521.jpg (78.83 KB,686x386,hq720.jpg)

OOOOPS, lost my job where I was responsible for marketplace accounts.
I will keep quiet about it and not tell anyone.

>not enough contact with client

>didn't build good relations with them
I was hoping that it won't be issue, mb.

>I didn't ask for extension of cotract

^That is supposed to be asked about month before the end

I feel like something is crushing me from inside but at the same time pumped to git gud somewhere else.

Maybe that's what I needed kick into other direction.
The question is which?


File: 1692798697724.png (1.16 MB,944x944,asfnjiyguhhjukli.PNG)

At least I kept my posivity and head on while talking through phone with my superior.

Asked him if maybe they have anything that needs help and I will act as support.

But just received a message that there may be some stuff for me.
And it will be more like part-time.

GREAT, already got a list to ask who needs help.
Pretty good!!

hahahahha key is trying and proposing, I'm shocked it worked.
In free time I will try to get back to programming.


I want a total mind reset. Just, totally erase all of my opinions and put me in therapy to get re-adjusted to the world.


I hate people walking their dogs. Most of the time they are well behaved but there are these few instances when they'll get too close, bark or be agressive. And it's not like you can be certain what type of dogs and owners will be trouble. The worst I have had to deal with was some tiny grandma's piece of garbage that unexpectedly bit on my leg.
And keep them on a leash for fuck's sake. I don't care that your fleabag is "very nice and friendly haha :-)" I don't want it sniffing me and I don't want to play with it.


>keep them on a leash for fuck's sake
Oops, I never use it but understand your point of view.
Most people are too dumb to train theirs.
Screw your granda's rat. I would have no remorse and send it flying with a kick.

I always keep my cool around any other dogs as compensation makes it worth to get bitten lol
Maybe looking at this like that will help you.

Mine doesn't sniff, worst she will throw you a stick and run away far awaiting for your action.
It's energetic breed (not my choice) and follows my every command so it runs free.
biting it's ear and pretending to eat from the bowl was sure worth it!


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I wouldn't have wasted all my free time gaming.
>I am better than most of people, can easily catch up if I want to
Had really optimistic view on myself lol

Would make tons of "friends" instead of isolating, just to have it easier in the future.
>no need for socials, my skills will be enough
Sure, that could work. Oh wait I didn't do shit towards getting good at anything.

1/3 of life wasted goofing around then being depressed.
Now somewhat adapted to living but no ideas on what to do.
From time to time getting ideas what I should do but these hold value for not longer than day.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI realized being in shitty position far too late.

Can't feel New Testament or Jesus yet tho motivated me to help parents much more which boosted my well-being. Not bad, not bad.

But not enough, read some stuff about ketamine treatments.
Most likely will try it out, after that every other shit that supposedly is meant to help. But I am afraid there are not that many left.

After that cults but I couldn't find any interesting ones.
At school we were terrorized that they often lure in people and change their lives drastically.

I am so damn tired of living. Sometimes wonder if maybe starting a social life would magically cure me.
But that thing I leave for the end as it always opposed my views and was contrary to my needs. sorry, I thought it would be funny to spoiler these

Seeking for something but not sure what.
Damn I wish I was looking for some "cute gf" like a failed normie. That would be a piece of cake to figure out.


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you're going crazy, life is not so difficult.
what you need are some trials to figure yourself out


Woah I didn't notice unnecessary "is" at start.

I'm not saying it is. Just that's rough to live with myself.
I am the one with issues, not life, aware of that.
>some trials to figure yourself out
Like what? Name few and I will go for them


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I think I kinda was a bit of an ass there.
Sometimes it just gets tough though. Don't mind it. I think the best way to keep forward is starting to look forward to the future.
I'm sure living and believing this is gonna help a lot.


>was a bit of an ass there
haha not at all
>look forward to the future
Yeah when you have some goals or stuff to want done then sure, then sure.
Got none like that.

Hmm most likely I am just overthinking shit. Will try to dumb down, will post how it went


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After a month of abstinence I broke down and gulped down whiskey.
I hate myself.


Shit happens Liz, from what you were running away?
If you have the need to dose from time to time maybe get something less destructive.

I hate alcohol, the line between feeling great and losing memory is too thin. Also hangovers suck, never worth it.


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Shit day.
Now I am slightly better, just gotta avoid feeding the bad things.
I think eventually you might figure it out. I figured out what I wanted to do with life the moment I realized most of my thoughts weren't really my own and it was just the same as schizos on imageboards believed.


File: 1693580585187.png (1.15 MB,1280x720,mirin.png)

>Also hangovers suck, never worth it.
Hangovers are strangely rare for me. I might have had one or two but not enough to count.
>from what you were running away?
My house is host for a real piece of shit, and I am doomed to coexist with this fucktard.
At least until I get a good enough job that lets me live somewhere else, but then comes my sister with this stupid thing about you gotta live with your dad so that the land isn't usurped by others and i just wis- no, I will soon enough send it all to hell and just build a life of my own.
I don't care about the loss in money, I just want to be able to be at fucking peace for one second of my life.


There's too much to know. Too much to learn. I really don't care about the outside world. Still, I have to learn to live. I can't be without skills. Also, to the people I knew of in highschool or my previous jobs, I'm dead. Don't talk to me. I just want to be alone.


>too much to know. Too much to learn
That's what happens when you wake up too late, I'm in the same spot though. Too bothersome to catch up, hitting exit sounds like good alternative for me.
>so that the land isn't usurped by others
What, how does it works?
If it's like that I would try to survive there. Houses are too expensive


File: 1693840027674.jpg (119.3 KB,1920x1080,Shirogane_learns_Volleybal….jpg)

Made a loss equivalent to ~
20% of my low shitty monthly income for just two sold units.
This wouldn't happen if partner didn't force me to list by hand.
Ofc it had to be the most expensive one from all these 64products

Quiting for sure if I have to pay for it.


It's common for people to just take others land here


File: 1693870064566.png (132.32 KB,768x576,1579069522687.png)

So I was asking to myself, why are there so many birthdays happening this time of the year, and I just noticed.
Technically these people might be christmas babies, or new years' eve babies, meaning their dads did the thing- why does this repulse me?


Politics are everywhere. Just leave me alone. No more people. No more society. I just want to stay in my room. Too bad I have to work on my feet. More suffering.


>Too bad I have to work
Ah a fellow wageslavie, whatcha doin

This job made me feel e-commerce and anything related to it.
JUST 3 MORE MONTHS TO SURVIVE, unless they kick me sooner which would be unfavorable and that has high chances.
GRRR hear how angry I am at everything!!


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As nothing helped me I tried to be more social, thinking that I may be warmblood after all and that lack of deeper contact is making me depressed or something.
Found some guy to write to in-game.
Felt no difference in these few days while doing it.
Although today some topic brought up trauma that I was never aware of.
Which reminded me that I had reason for all this hardcore isolation and that socials never did anything for me, just forgot about it >xD


I do retail at a gas station. The job's tiring and my legs hurt, but I leave at 3 PM at the latest, so I can rest for the rest of the day.


Update: The gas station is getting more customers and management wants us to pick up the pace. We'll still be paid the same, of course, but we just have to move faster. I don't think they're going to be assigning more workers, either. I want to leave.


Too bad you don't have an Aldi nearby. Their cashiers have stools.


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God, Windows is so fucking DISGUSTING
I feel like I'm using a computer from the mid 2000s after getting comfy with linux.
It's just ugly, cumbersome, and annoying. The ONLY reason as to why anyone uses it it's because of being a complete monopoly, and Microsoft destroying the competition through bad practises like EEE.
I never thought I'd complain about things like these but here I am, using Windows 10 because in the case I have to use Microsoft Teams™ the Web App can't let you have a custom background to hide my horrid room.
The only benefit Windows has over Linux is that when I search something in the file manager, I don't get a furry groomer paw in the search icon. But apparently it's something wrong with my KDE, because searching on the internet I see regular search icons on those Dolphin file managers (see second pic I got off from google, I get some fucking paw in my file manager, I want it out >:( )
How am I supposed to configure that icon now?


One day, long ago, I decided to use Linux Mint. When using it, I realized a lot of programs, like their document program, ran faster. Also, their version of "windows explorer" or whatever was also faster. Microsoft word always froze up when saving, pasting, etc. while explorer would freeze up when searching. Never for Linux. I don't like using the command line very much, but I much prefer it over the Windows command line. It's way more powerful, flexible, and accessible imo. Nowadays, I've only used linux on my laptop, but it's finally lost network connectivity, so I stopped using it. I might get it repaired or something.


>JUST 3 MORE MONTHS TO SURVIVE, unless they kick me sooner
Oops, got kicked out 2 weeks ago.

But my mood is better now.
I think that the issue was being too active mentally with no proper way of reliefing stress.
After getting bored and staring at walls/lying down for most of 3 days it did the magic.
Will test this one out when I feel terrible again.

Also stopped reading Bible, sorry to Liz who recommended it.
It's just not for me.


It's been about a week and a half. How are you doing? Are you staying clean and sleeping well? Do you have a place to stay? I hope you stay safe out there. At least in the U.S., the pigs like to harass homeless people.


I find it pretty much impossible to do drugs like alcohol, watch mo

YO What the heck?
The formatting on this post screwed up big time.

Okay, it's back to normal.

Anyways, it's hard for me to do drugs or watch movies. I can't really celebrate holidays, either. My brain says to keep doing the same stuff and that starting things is hard. Also, work gets me tired, and after sleeping after work, I only have like, four hours to do stuff, so I want to have fun. You can't blame me for that, can you?


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My mind is a prison and sleep is the key
I want this nightmare to end
I want to be FREE
The internet is the jailer,
My prison is vast,
My world is a sea of gray
present mixes with past

I'm tired, man. While in some people's youth, they regret their choices and ignorance when they were kids, but instead of that, I made no choices. Life has become a blur that passes me by. And while these things, people, events, pass me by, I find myself unable to care or even express myself. I see kids younger than me go on to other things while I feel like I'm in a time loop. Even typing this out or saying all this, I have these doubts in my head. Even wizchan and this site give me no relief. I see the sad posts on wizchan and I end up feeling nothing. I come to this place, and it's pretty much dead. There's really no other place I go to.

If this were a video game, I would have turned off the system and restarted my game, but I can't restart my life and I don't want to turn it off.


woo bud, sounds like you gotta let go of many things and ideals that are keeping you weak and strive for the best from this clean image of yourself.


What >>7293 Liz said.

Also that may sound like rambling, but maybe it will help you like it did for me.
You should get rid of someone's thoughts/views about you from your head.
Untill you realize that these thoughts are fake and basically previous experiences on loop, it's gonna hurt.

I mean, it's super rare to self hate without experiencing it first from outside world.


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I'm just so pissed off about imageboards. It's clear that they're not for me, and the types of folk that use them are just unhinged maniacs. I wish I could find a place to find myself comfortable but it always feels like most social media is just window shopping and there is no way I can interact with most people.
Will I be forever alone? Life sucks enough already.


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Awww poor baby, not normal enough? :CC


Yes, I'd like to be normal, but it seems I forgot the memo and got stuck in these lairs for too long.


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>I'd like to be normal
Ahahah. Wrong chan buddy
What's up with people like you? Going to places where others are reclusive by choice.
To cry about loneliness and their failed normie life.

Can't you just fuck off to a place dedicated for such issues?
Why shit all over this place with your normal faggotry…
Is this concept so hard to grasp?


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Eh, I take it back.
Forgot that current admin had no issues with a guy writing about losing virginity lol
So your post is alright with today's standard.

I should be asking myself what the fuck I'm doing here instead.


It's not healthy to believe things that way bud.


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>not healthy to believe things that way
Haha what way? Sounds like you have some interesting backstory about me.

I just pointed to look somewhere while being a dick about it.
Can do it nicely too. LOOK

Hewlo, if imageboards are not for you…
Perhaps finding some friends in online game might help you.
There are also discord groups but idk how that works.
Honestly the best place to find a friend is getting a penpal through Slowly app.
thought I needed something like that and left after realizing it being different cause

Social medias are not a place for it.
It is a lengthy process but I believe that everyone can find their soulmate if they try long enough.

>Will I be forever alone?

No, don't worry about it. Some day you will not feel like that but first you must put some effort into it and keep trying.



Sometimes I think "I don't want to do this any more", but I don't know what I don't want to do. The closest thing that comes to mind is "everything". It's not about doing something else in life, but life itself is tiring. I'm sure other people have thought this before, too. I also get this weird feeling or realization that I am one of many people in my community, city, county, state, country, etc. There are other people around, and it's just that we're all separated by our houses. Weird feeling.


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I wish


no killing just a lot of puking.
Right after preparing bunch of food the aura hit me.
Well with the plate full it would be shame to wait few hours.
I should chew more

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