No.
2326
Improved was supposed to have a line through it and now i'm enraged, just had to vent.
No.
2327
>>2326Happens to all of us
No.
2328
>>2327no it doesn't you liar this has been my biggest blunder
that's it don't come to lizchan tomorrow
No.
2329
I swear this month was designed as a humiliation ritual for guys like me. My parents almost burst out laughing when they seen the cheap ass gifts I got them.
No.
2331
>>2329Theyre boomers what did you expect?
I got a 20 dollar gift card to a store I dont even go to and asked could I get the $20 in cash instead? They said ok and took the card back.
Ff a week later, they already spent the gift card on themselves and pretended to forget it ever happened.
No.
2332
Couldn't get past my negative emotions for a good while and finally I gained my desire to do things back for a bit, time to play STALKER and watch aylien docs and movies.
>>2329have never gotten anyone a present except maybe once or twice
>>2330Looks like it'd be fun to explore in an apocalyptic scenario.
>>2331absolutely owned
my mom always tells me to come visit for 20$ then doesn't have it when i get there, it's been this way for 6 years.
Don't mind to much since I have little interest in my future and would spend it right away anyways.
No.
2334
>>2332>never gotten anyone a presentbased! I wish I had the courage to disengage from this rotten consumerist holiday
No.
2337
>>2332>have never gotten anyone a present except maybe once or twicehaha amateur ,I never did, even in school when everyone was drawing cards with names I always managed to get mine by trading.
Once there was a girl that had my card and didn't want to trade, told her that I'll get her anyone she wants.
>I'm fine with youIn the end I told teacher that I'm not comming and made up some story.
No.
2342
Sometimes I feel like every single day I'm going backwards. I would reach a place too high, and in/voluntarily I would start leaving those places, or stop using some tools, because I don't feel I should be there.
Feels strange man
No.
2343
Fucking christmas jews raising the cost of pc cases just day before xmas.
niggercocacolaman ritual,already wrote half a stars reviews butthurting about raising shit for ridiculous amount.
Hopefully no one buys them because of my review,greedyfucks
No.
2347
>>2334You must simply be so lazy the money to spend on others never happens upon your path, and if it does so selfish that it doesn't matter.
>>2337>In the end I told teacher that I'm not comming and made up some story.abjectly obliterated, a truly devilish liz.
To be fair the few presents I gave were either really cheap or given to me to tell someone I got it for them.
>>2343Imagine making a living off scalping and not feeling the least bit bad about it, kind of jealous of them to be honest.
>>2342Maintaining a skill is a lot like picking your favorite bolder to roll up an endless mountain, some of us just want to stay near the bottom and roll around different ones to pass time if we get bored.
No.
2352
>>2347>be so lazyAre you implying that laziness is a bad thing?
No.
2356
>>2352nope, just a very handy trait if you wish to straddle the line between poverty and homelessness.
No.
2363
>>2361I thought it can't be worse but it is. I was in bed for 6 hours and didn't even fall asleep for a minute. Today wageslaving till 3am. Fuck
No.
2375
>>2374Oh I forgot
>friends that bullied me for my ethnicity end up becoming liberal/leftists cuckolds>spoiled the latest star wars flick to them, they inmediately fuck off
No.
2376
>>2374>>2375I think you have no obligation to preserve the people who dislike you so much, unless you're like me and can't turn your back to objective duties
No.
2377
>>2374>Sometimes I feel like I was born with the worst cards Woah Lizzie I'd be more than happy to take that job and immigrate, additionaly clean the house and cook. I can sleep on the ground,that's not a problem for me.
I'm for real
No.
2383
>>2381I've maybe not heard worse but that stuffs pretty common around here, shops play country music non-stop with the same pattern, music stations are deluded with it as i can remember car rides where I was just trying to day dream and the music burnt itself into memory in the worst way as a kid, and like you said it's in this weird area of being either pop or country nowadays.
No.
2384
>>2375Man I know what its like to be bullied for your ethnicity, its utter bullshit. What makes it worse is even the leftists shit on my ethnicity, nobody fucking likes my kind. Hell even I don't like what we've become. FUCKING JUDGE ME FOR WHO I AM, NOT WHAT I AM YOU BASTARDS
No.
2388
>>2384I like the internet for this reason though. No need to be declaring your ethnicity, the only valuable thing you have to identify yourself is what you post.
>even the leftists shit on my ethnicity, nobody fucking likes my kindYou jewish?
No.
2389
oops started thinking about the implications of cause and effect and the fact that i'm a sentient material amalgamation with no free will whose only solace is his own ignorance of his fate and lack of understanding of how truly powerless and trapped he is.
weird how it's possible to be so numb to this.
nap time
>>2384one of people's main instincts is to judge by looks, herd mentality, hierarchies and social games, my biggest fear.
I have no answer to these issues, I have most of them too but with certain twist, a little better off but probably more useless and will die faster.
No.
2396
>>2394Chin up jeb, with ziondon starting WW3, your prospects of being elected are much higher!
Remember; slow and steady, wins the race!
No.
2403
>>2400>God emperor Jeb Bush, with vice emperor Lindsey Graham standing by his sideI want to live in this reality.
No.
2409
can't believe i wasn't born with magic powers, can't do anything right.
No.
2412
My brickphone bug, cant attach↑ it lol.
Your magic power is being kinda woke, think about it
No.
2413
>>2412I do NOT want be woke
i want to be sleep
No.
2416
Embedding error.
>>2415Are you standing on the edge?
No.
2417
It's weird how most our population lives in big cities, though they do function as a quarantine zone in there own way.
I'm naturally depressive sure but nothing brings out the anxious melancholy more than walking through a walmart in a huge city, being surrounded by cars everywhere, or being surrounded by neighbors.
>>2415I'll start in your absence, although I only have one bottle.
No.
2418
>>2417Ive personally been to a big city once or twice but each time it was like I was an ant. Being surrounded by ugly concrete buildings with thousands of square glass windows that all looking pretty much the same is not normal or healthy.
No.
2419
>>2416*opens beer*
not anymore
No.
2420
This thread makes me sad. I'm waiting for the new dwarf fortress to come out this month, as was said by the creator on 1/1/2020. I can't wait. 22 more days!
No.
2422
I'm wondering what caused my self to be this way, i was recently told I was always detached and day dreaming since I was very little, and this is still how I am. Yet this is the largest roadblock I face, this outlook makes anything involving much concentration in real life exhausting. Every job requires concentration, yet when I'm pulled out of my mind, from my rumination or day dreaming I grow tired so quickly, become self destructive, and it's like a pot of bad emotions has been stirred.
I don't remember my early childhood, was this caused by something or simply how I function in general? How nonconstructive.
>>2420ventings not something that makes many people happy to read, yet it is necessary. also neat i'll have to relearn how to navigate the menus.
No.
2424
>>2422>how I function in generalYeah, probably. I'm the same way, I've got no drive or ambition. My parents use to say I was lackadaisical, which I have to admit is exactly what I am.
No.
2425
>>2424I've used to be like that untill I found out how fucking long I'd have to work with minimal pay per hour to save up for some smallest flat outside of city and hikki budgEt.
Maybe if you check it yourself the motivation will come.
No.
2426
>>2425>long I'd have to workIt took me three years of working shit jobs to get my place. I was doing tons of hours but I was glad to work them because I didn't like being around my parents home.
>motivation will comeIf it was in me it would of came by now. Some people just don't have a lot of willpower.
No.
2428
Today was payday, nearly 14 months of tiresome work to go and I can slack off while studying.
If I keep not buying any stuffIt may feel and look like much but it's not so bad compared to upcomming 4 years of doing nothing expect only learning stuff and maybe some light vouluntary work to get recommendations.
Although my physical health is worse also I've been always skinny but now even neighbours ask if everything is allright because my face looks boney.
I feel so great that it feels unnatural, hope it won't change but I'm kinda worried because I've used to have up and downs in my life for no reason.
It would be hilarious if all this went to shit.
>>2426My reply didn't go through my brickphone dang it.
If U managed to work all those shitty jobs to buy Your place then I wouldn't say that U had no motivation or willpower.
No.
2429
>>2424Yea maybe it's just situational, I wonder if there's a purpose to this trait carrying on or if it's just something that hasn't been bred out yet.
>>2426>Some people just don't have a lot of willpower.Will power needs a basis imo, and so does the motivation that willpower strides upon.
For me it's always been a forked path of dying or working to live and for some reason I just want to not take either and sit and rest, seemingly for a long period.
>>2428you'll never be as charming as fatliz if you let your bones become less big with this poor pizza deprived diet.
No.
2430
>>2428>managed to work all those shitty jobsha, I sort of figured someone was going to try to call me out. I guess I would say I have the willpower to get out of an unpleasant situation to a more tolerant one. Like having the drive to go and see a doctor if I keep getting sick. I'll procrastinate a lot but eventually I'll be forced to go through with it.
No.
2431
>>2428I found it interesting how normgroids waste all of their money on drinks and nightclubbing and complain about not having any money.
No.
2432
>>2431I find it more interesting when warmies have casual sex and then get mad when they get STDs. There is a strange kind of justice at play in this realm
No.
2433
In my entire life I had at least 216 urinal tract infections.
I tried to find out what causes it but had no luck.
It's not because of fapping, got it even after 2 weeks of no fap.
Had urine and kidney tests and overall examination of insides to look for damage, everything is great.
Sometimes it goes away after few hours which is weird because those should last longer or stays for one week max.
At least I can sense it before it hits thanks to experience.
Went on shift and had to use bathroom every 5 to 10 mins.
Fortunately I had last pills of meds so the problem lasted only for hour and half.
I guess this is punishment for not fuggin
No.
2435
Comes back home after 10 hours of physical work. 4:30 am at home.
Tries to fall asleep for 5 hours, got like 15 min sleep.
Mom's faggot comes in and is angry on me that I'm laying in bed.
"what the fuck made you so tired?" etc.
I'm too angry to fall asleep.
How someone with phd in phisiology can be so dumb that can't understand that it's hard it's hard to switch from night living to day.
Especially when I'm working nights.
Retard got cucked twice and lost over 30 years of work in cash.
Suprisingly he was and still is spoiling his daughters also his wives had to do nothing too.
>>2381>never let my anger outYes, I do not, instead hide it inside and fucking rot
Forgot about it
Next shiFt start soon ,1 hour more than today tho.
I tried to fall asleep but can't well shit. Zombie mode on, wish me luck that I won't Fuck up and give someone more change
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
No.
2436
>>2435Yoof best of strengths to ya.
Im in a similar position, dont stress out it will work itself outs.
No.
2437
>>2433>shift and had to use bathroom every 5 to 10 minssounds like might need to start taking your piss bottles with you to work
No.
2439
>>2433>>2437Inflatable pants + catheter
thank me later boys
>>2435>he was and still is spoiling his daughtershate people like this, understand having a bias towards your own kid/s but not out right hating someone else's, especially if you hook up with them since you're cuck. Amazing how fragile hearted man whores can be.
>>2438what for? love misty and rainy weather, hope one day creatures start coming out of it and create innumerable The Mist sequels.
No.
2440
>>2439My house is shit and something heated up on it so I decided to hitch hike to get outside the cunt.
>love misty and rainy weatherdon't hitch hike then you'll hate it
No.
2441
>>2438>hitchhiked Probably one of the most unsafest things you can ever do. Read some true crime, pretty well everyone hitchhiked in the 70s and serial killers took full advantage of this. All you have to do is get into a car with the wrong person and that's it for you.
No.
2442
>>2441getting killed would be a blessing compared to living in absolute misery
No.
2443
>>2442I don't think you understand, it won't be a quick death. Go read about the crimes of William Bonin or Randy Kraft to see what I'm talking about.
You're better off taking a bus or riding a bike if you need to get somewhere far.
No.
2447
Deficit of 14 house of sleep.
Yay, I'll go to sleep early and wake up like 2 p.m
Falls asleep a little after midnight wakes up after 3 hours and cant go back. FUUUUUUCK
9a.m tired, goes instasleep.
Wakes up after 15 hours. It's midnight again.
ffs
No.
2448
Feel like this guy when I long post
>>2447owned
No.
2449
>>2448i wont give up. managed to go back to sleep for 3 hours , it's 3:57 am now.
It's a little closer to having normal shedule
No.
2451
>>2449>>2450Pathetic.
Stop resisting your true nature.
No.
2454
I'm ashamed of so many, many things I've done in my life I think only harakiri can repair the amount of cowardice that I have spilled all over the place
No.
2455
>>2454I've used to be like that , whenever reminded myself of something dumb I literaly cringed.
Then I understood that IN THE END IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER and my life started to look bright.
>>2450beatiful, thanks
No.
2458
I have this insatiable desire for emotional understanding yet upon those rare instances it's seemingly achieved nothing happens. I just go back to desiring more and unique forms of it.
It's like finding a single piece for a puzzle you've been yearning for, and having to keep searching for the rest but never finding the last piece.
It's like being a coomer, but my fetish for empathy and kindness can never be truly sated and only escalates.
>>2454repent evil doer
>>2455>IN THE END IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTERcope, demiurge is judging you right this second for being so cringe, he's gonno burn you for eternity, shouldn't have peed yourself that one time in class.
No.
2462
>>2459more so justice, which is revenge with less leniency.
sadly, on a large scale justice doesn't exist, there is no payout for enduring life's sufferings as we know.
No.
2464
What do you lizards do to handle stress?
I'm shut in but still have health issues stemming from stress.
I like sorting files and listening to things in the background.
Right now I'm sorting anime and listening to:
>>2463saved
No.
2465
>>2464>What do you lizards do to handle stress?I have found in my personal experience, that just taking a walk or stroll around the neighborhood/city clears my head up pretty well. Something about the steady pace, fresh air, and constant change of scenery calms me down and technically counts as exercise. At one point I had just gotten lost in my thoughts and realized I had walked from one side of town to the other, meaning I had to take a bus back.
Check for local parks in your area, or just do it at night time when all the normies are in and the weather isn't too bad (and as always, exercise common sense). Looking out from a bridge (and not in a suicidal way), feeling the breeze, or just listening to music/podcasts as you walk has been a habit I wished I began practicing earlier.
I highly recommend it, reptilianon.
No.
2466
Embedding error.
>>2464>stressed shut inwhy? fearing that U may be kicked out or sth? how long?
>>2465That's such a warm way, look how pros do it. Faster,better stronger
To handle stress I say WAOW or try to sing along embeded when nobody can hear it.
Sounds dumb but I do it to elimante stress before it hits me, works great so far lol,for real tho.
Since I learned to use that power I no longer spiral down to paranoia
*bree and pig squeal nosises*
No.
2467
>>2466>That's such a warm wayVery rarely do I encounter anybody on a late night walk, and when I do, I highly doubt they're that warm. I've had plenty of good conversations with homeless people (mostly because I look like one when I go on walks) who I would consider borderline reptilian if they were a virgin and actually sane
No.
2468
My house is exploding from the conflict and my mum is going to send me to a ghetto where a relative of her lives. The room is a 2,5x3, and the loud music is going to be even louder. If I haven't killed myself there then I enjoy living in misery
No.
2469
>>2465I really liked it too, I miss living out in the country.
Used to walk from my house to the cemetery or soda machine and day dream. rarely but now walking makes me anxious, live on the outskirts of town and there's nothing for miles to walk to outside of it. Has made it way less enjoyable but I still do it a couple times a year.
Something something "there's no bad thought you cannot walk away from" or whatever the quote was.
>>2466>why?I'm the worrying type, but i'm not sure that's the full reason.
It's gotten worse the past 5 years, I'll have pain I can't stop thinking about in my chest, really high blood pressure the doc said is primarily because of the pain.
I fear getting kicked out, the process of dying, getting the least pleasure out of life than everyone else, etc. But mainly I fear that i'm not truly in control of anything, petty but honest.
>how long?11 years, I have to go to doc appointments or i'll die and have to go shopping sometimes, but don't leave my room for anything else but those yearly walks.
Oh yea and those few weeks I worked this year to see if i'd go crazy. I did.
>that songMakes me think you get off on not taking yourself seriously, are you wagie? think i'd do more things like that if I was, I'm in small house and don't want to be interrogated about the squealing happening in my room tho.
>>2468What's the conflict about? money related? you can't die you're the only other poster besides me.
No.
2470
>>2469>What's the conflict aboutwanted to make English classes but my dad said no, he's an alcoholic and gets into fights with anyone in the house. Tried working with him but stopped after two weeks since he wanted that I worked for him for free. Now that I hitch hiked for a week he said he doesn't want to see me in the house anymore. The sad thing is that the only other place I have is this rundown shack that's just sad to look at. A little bit more and it looks like those Hong Kong pods, but t doesn't look an inch as good
I just wanted to earn some money mang
No.
2471
>>2470You seem fluent though, can you not speak it well besides typing with a literacy level of a native English speaker?
>Tried working with him but stopped after two weeksMine stopped after one day, he's never been a teacher but yours seems pretty aggro.
Sorry liz, I don't know how'd I'd handle that situation.
Will you still have electric/internet? If you can't stand the place you maybe able to use it out as a homebase/backup sleep shack. I hope you find someway to make it bearable or to somehow escape altogether if things don't improve.
No.
2472
>>2471>Will you still have electric/internet?Technically, the issue is the small space of the room, I have to think well about what to bring there, I know at least that three things already take most of the space.
but the thing is that they may also use me for free labour, that place is a mess that needs to be painted some new paint, and the window also needs to be relocated according to my aunt who is the landlord of the place. It doesn't help that she believes in this retarded garbage and has a totem outside the place and iconography inside her house
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gauchito_Gil
No.
2473
>>2472That wiki link scares me, it's a weird promotion of mercy in the face of your tormentors. It's like emotional cuckoldry being promoted as a form of godlike mercy.
Unless I missed something.
That's about 70% the size of my room if I'm going by scale of bed.
>use me for free labourIf it gets frequent I'd just leave the house at the times it usually pops up, unless you'd think they'd threaten to just kick you out for that.
Just seems like a cruel situation, a bit absurd to have kids then treat them like a burden while you buy liquor with money your family probably needs.
Would you be averse to postin' pictures of it sometime? I'd get everything valuable and use the space under the bed, on and under the table etc.
No.
2474
>>2469oh the pain chest Lizzie, that sucks. Still no info what causes it? maybe the spine defect
>fear getting kicked outIf they already let You live for 11 years while staying indoors there, the worst thing is that can get you is job
>getting the least pleasure out of life than everyone elseone year of being hikki is something that I dream of
It's the matter of perspective Lizzie
>I worked this year to see if i'd go crazy. I did.I've been through that, delusions ,panic attacks after leaving home.
Tip from me is do it slow and steady although You probably heard it too many times the other way is changing the way of thinking although I have no idea how to do that other way than observing.
No.
2476
>>2469>that songI unironically like it, even very much
>Makes me think you get off on not taking yourself seriously, are you wagie? I'm not taking anyone seriously,myself neither. Everyone is just a mere animal that can speak in my eyes,in mirror too. I'm not that silly to think of myself differently :-DD
Also I never take things personally because it doesn't matter in any way,it's just their observation.
I take their view and try learn something from it although I rarerly hear pure truth because almost every the time ppl share what they think about your persona either in anger or when they're in very good mood which distorts the reality too.
I don't need any respect towards me because I'm just an another ape.
I see respect as something that high ego creatures crave, a special treating for how they "different" "better" are. Never having any meaningful conversation with ppl like that because their world is all about themselves.
That doesn't mean that I'm letting ppl like that or any other spank my butt, I treat them the same way, in the language they understand. firstly being assertive and if there is a try to pin me down.
I kindly laugh their doings/attitude off slightly showing that their magic has no power here , works like a charm. Gaining their respect/showing me as unspankable/making them to not like me. Either way it's all good for me.
No.
2477
>>2473Sure, I'll go tomorrow again to check the place, so I can take pictures of it.
No.
2478
>>2469and Yes I'm a youngling kfc wagie that has to move out in february or march but till this moment I'm going to get a better job to make savings for studying less tiresome.
>>2477I'm pretty sure I have smaller room but with layout and well placed furniture. I'll post a pic too.
Don't worry Lizzie everything will be okayish or bearable at least.
Remember that world's look depends on how You perceive it.
Stay strong
No.
2479
>>2474>Still no info what causes it?Just a guess from the doctor, I personally think I'm just kind of weak. I'm the most emotional person I know even though I don't show it.
I genuinely get enraged at peoples stupidity and lack of empathy like it's my first time seeing it every single time.
It's like being shot as a kid, and then the wound never closes, but emotionally. Sounds retarded but you'd understand if you were me.
>they already let You live for 11 yearsI'm quite paranoid admittedly, I said those things to describe a slew of random worries that usually scrawl through my brain.
>matter of perspectiveTruly, though it seems like I'm horrible at controlling those.
>panic attacks after leaving homeThis was the main issue, I started shutting down some days.
I was thinking about the gun I had at the time and I popped a boner, and decided to quit after that.
>not taking anyone seriously>never take things personallygenerally an attitude I admire and envy a bit, my personality is like shinji but instead of not getting in the mech it's refusing to get into the rat race.
>>2477>>2478Nice, I might take one of mine too.
>move out in february or marchLettuce now how it turns out, hearing your guys triumphs or survival stories may inspire me not to be so lazy life wise.
No.
2480
>>2479From all the things that You wrote here and on this site
and if I linked them correctly,we're almost the same
when it comes to problems.
I'm just speculating but my guess is that Your family took becoming a shut in a more acceptable way than mine did.
I went through hell made by them because of my retardation and depression,well they kinda did too seeing their kid growing up to be unsuccessful person and seeing me in scars so early.
Cutting straight to the point they got papers on me that would send me straight to juvenile detention center, like place for young criminals because I was missing school lol. Meanwhile me a faggy 14 kid with hardcore social anxiety,depression and delusions around bulky bald scum that would be a certain slow death or a path to suicide. In that center there were some suicides and a loud real story about kid being forced to drink bleach and other cleaning detergents.
It wasn't just a spook ,my mother still has those papers even tho they're outdated, fucked up.
After that I started going to school but I was evicted to my father where there was an attempt to reform me by beating and bullying.
Kind of a blogpost but just wanted to highlight the difference.
edgy emo past me dancing in the embeded
No.
2481
Embedding error.
>It's like being shot as a kid, and then the wound never closes, but emotionally. Sounds retarded but you'd understand if you were me.
I've been like that too until I got destroyed emotionally, don't want blogpost but it was the worst thing I've ever experienced. This taught me to never count on empathy. I hope that Your naiveness won't be fixed in such a way.
>I'm quite paranoid admittedly
I'd advise getting other Lizzies view as reality check on some things that bother You, or other ppl tho I think lizzies have a better ability to umm see things as they are?
>refusing to get into the rat race
No one besides You expects beceoomin the best ,Lizzie.
I read half of anthony de mello-awareness,helped me to sort some thoughts.
funny enough firstly I brainwashed myself to believe in all this without thoroughly understanding. It was hilarious how hard it crashed with reality some time later.
Wish Ya all best
No.
2482
>>2479Oh and it may be neuralgia, I had it.
No.
2483
>>2480Yea it sounds like we played the same campaign but on different difficulties.
My family is very quick to place the blame on brain problems, so they never really get too mad at me directly.
>straight to juvenile detention centerDamn, I started skipping school pretty early and while I did end up in a court room at one point, ultimately my parents enrolled me in homeschooling I never actually did after a few years of unending detention and teachers scolding me.
I did end up in a mental hospital for a bit, and it sounds like your experience but with training wheels and someone feeding me grapes in between peddles.
>reform me by beatinglike, physically re-form you?
sorry liz I can only make bad jokes at this time.
>taught me to never count on empathyIt's a form of understanding you need to be truly intelligent, but it's also taboo and avoided at all cost by most people. The worst part is you can understand it fairly quickly, but need something to make you stop ruminating on it like you've experienced or it can waste a lot of your time. Not trying to glorify your experience, though i'm glad it lead to your current mindset as it seems pretty positive, under your circumstances.
I'm always hoping the lizards are doing well, don't know why but it helps having this site to come back to.
No.
2487
>>2480>juvenile detention centerBased prison lizard. I bet you have all kinds of cool stories from your time in the joint.
No.
2490
>>2487>they got papers on me that would send me straight to juvenile detention centerWould but I wasn't send there since I'm still writing not being ded
No.
2491
>>2490Damn, hate to say it but your story would be a million times cooler if they did lock you away for a little while. Well, too bad.
No.
2493
>>2491Yeah I know, I've been locked up in madhouse 3 times but it's not cool, kinda lame
No.
2496
Here are some pictures of the room a Lizzie asked me for
No.
2498
>>2497God I wanna hump and lick that leg
No.
2499
>>2498that's my aunt, it's kinda creepy that she looks old as hell and has tinder installed on her phone
I think she's over 60
No.
2500
>>2497what's with all the wires?
No.
2501
>>2500that is how ghetto electricity looks like lizzie
No.
2503
>>2497New season of bunker park boys looks lit.
Gl with renovating it Lizzie.
I'd still chose that concrete room over renting one
No.
2504
>>2503Technically my mom is renting it, 40 dollars a month
No.
2506
>>2505why don't you try applying for russian scholarship? apparently the russian state would give you housing as long as you go there to form yourself in college. I'm thinking of doing that if I don't get out of the gutter.
No.
2508
>>2506I guess the lectures would be from monday to friday, if yes then oddly enough it's more time efficient to stay here even when working the minimum pay.
Also I'm not so sure of my mental stability and that would be a big problem going nuts in different country.
Finding a job related to studying subject on 2nd/3rd year wouldn't be a problem.
In Russia I'm sure they would only look for native level speakers.
I always couldn't learn anything while being in group or just surrounded by people.
Thought it may be because I'm not trying to focus enough but full-time courses in higher education proved me wrong.
What if U fail? Gotta repay all this?
Lmao I calculated it wrong last time. Gotta save up much more for studies. Welp, it seemed so easy
No.
2509
>>2508>In Russia I'm sure they would only look for native level speakers.They actually give you a preparatory year to learn the language there
>Gotta save up much more for studiesI think only Americans are the ones getting in debt for college, funny how you hear a lot of people claiming that college is a scam when in many parts of the world it's a public institution.
No.
2514
>>2509>only AmericansNot in America and I had to drop out in part because of costs. The instructors have a strong union so their wages kept going up while everyone else's wages stayed the same. When I first stated taking classes school was actually somewhat affordable, but as time went on tuition just kept going up and up.
No.
2519
>>2518my mother uses cbd,recommends it, has it less often and easier to bare.
Personally I had few migraines but they were killers.
Couldn't even walk straight,gibbering talking and puking my insides out.
It was so bad that my family accused me of taking designer drugs as I was dying with my head in toilet lol.
I feel sorry migraineLizzie
No.
2521
>>2497I'd live in there If it meant not being a wager. It has weird positioning though.
It's good you don't have to go right away, gives you some planning time.
I'd leave the door open during light rains etc, if you get internet it will make it bearable I lived in a similar scenario for a few years.
>>2498ban
>>250440 usd? what's that compared to a minimum salary there?
>>2517owned
>>2518yea only sleep cures mine
No.
2523
>>2522
Underage?
No.
2524
>>2523I wish, life was much a simpler time back then.
No.
2531
Stressed for no reason to the point that my whole body is shaking.
Not a single negative thought.
Every client and staff is nice.
Dunno why it's so bad wtf
No.
2532
>>2531Maybe you swallowed some meth?
No.
2533
>>2531Yea, I get the same thing but with chest pain too. I'm wondering what the cause is but it could be anything from being nutrient deficient to some unconscious trauma. I'm think the information flow has something to do with it.
>pastgrow up in shitty village, die young, limited perspective.
>nowgrow up in shitty town, die old, perspective and knowledge greatly increased selectively, jealousy or anger no longer limited to that one dunce in town or that race you don't see but entire populations and legions of individuals.
No.
2535
>>2532must've been freaking chemtrails
>>2533I once replied that it may be neuralgia but I meant pain caused by stress, shitty translator.
Used to have it.
Well it's more of jerky movement of body than shaking and arm tics at least not so hard like ppl with tourette have.
All this because of stress.
I was paying attention to my thoughts and mood, didn't noticed anything bad.
Neither anything stressful happend so I'm wondering what's the problem.
Although I spoted how the things start. First ppl's faces look to start dumb, like if they were about to take a shit.
Then I see their stares, this doesn't bother me but after a while I can feel stress on my body which gets stronger with time.
Same thing happend week ago and was exactly like that but it hit harder and I almost cried when manager told me "everything is okay" after she noticed my weird behaviour.
I have no idea what's going on, great mood but uneasy with stress.
Weird stuff, I'm guessing it's high cortisol level. Worst case scenario I'm going delusional lol
>unconscious traumadoubt it, I have two, one related to smell and other to touching my hair. See no reason in having third which is not conscious
No.
2536
>>2535>Well it's more of jerky movement of body than shaking and arm tics at least not so hard like ppl with tourette have. All this because of stress.I used to have the same problem with my neck gorwing up it would spasm really bad randomly and it would flare up when I was under a lot of stress. People thought I was retarded or I injured something. It took me multiple years to realize all I had to do was crack my neck everyday and the tension went away. I think it was because I slept with two pillows stacked and that gave me a thick/strong neck but created muscle spasms.
I read shit online on how you should take drugs to relieve the stress when i was figuring out what was going on but I didnt because Im not a druggie. But eh my advice is find something to lower your stress or massage the area that flares up, I know how ya feel and I hope for you it gets solved over time.
No.
2537
Wow, I'm in a class that has homework that's a lot harder than the stuff it' teaching. What the heck. I'm overdue in most things. I have two assignments overdue and a textbook thing overdue as well as a test for this one chapter, but the next chapter is in like, a month. It's crazy. I hope tomorrow I can get some help with this crap and actually finish some of my other homework. Yeah, I have other homework in other classes that are overdue. Two in another class I think. One was overdue for a week now and another one has been overdue for two days. It's the first chapters. Owowowowow. If this actually kills my grades before I actually do anything, I'll have lost all hope in the schooling system.
I'm in college, of course. Not high school.
No.
2538
Reality is disappointing, pointless, and horrifying.
Humanity just seems like a bunch of self replicating monsters.
It's a hopeless feeling when you recognize how bad it is, yet everyone gaslights you because they're retarded, evil, or both.
No.
2540
>>2536Will massage it tho I doubt it will help.
I have no idea to to lower that stress since nothing is causing it, at least that's what it looks like.
I'm guessing it's chemical imbalance dunno why tho. I eat a lot of veggies and shit, move a lot.
If it gets much worse gonna meet doc or therapist but without taking jewpills.
Woah does neck growth works like that? Do U have any pains because of that?
I think that sleeping on high pillows would distort Your spine and not make Your neck thick
No.
2541
>>2540>I have no idea to to lower that stress since nothing is causing it, at least that's what it looks like.I'm guessing it's chemical imbalance dunno why tho. I eat a lot of veggies and shit, move a lot.
I thought as well for my problem that if I exercise more, my spassms would go away, they did temporarily but only because of the addrenaline and they would come right back.
>If it gets much worse gonna meet doc or therapist but without taking jewpills.Yea massage therapist is your best bet, but you should research online if others have similar problems and try lots different techniques and see if those work or not.
>Woah does neck growth works like that? Do U have any pains because of that? >I think that sleeping on high pillows would distort Your spine and not make Your neck thickIve read that online but it never gave me any problems until I was in my final growth spurt. Everyone in my family doesnt have a defined lower neck like me and I dont even exercise my neck, they also all sleep with one pillow. Some of them suffered concussions from physical activity accidents easily, but I have been hit in the head alot before and dont ever feel concussed because my neck absorbs alot of the force. Its soprt of like how some people dont like sleeping in soft beds and prefer sleeping on hard surfaces like the floor because theyre body is accustomed to it.
Like I said maybe Im retarded and wrong but thats my two cents
No.
2542
>>2497A continuation on this
My mother seems to be threatening me so that I stay in her house by claiming she will adopt a baby if I leave, and a year ago she was mocking me with getting a brown baby.
The thing is, I only want to give classes so that I could invest in the cryptosphere, get a thinkpad with a Ryzen CPU, and buy a gas mask and a Hazmat suit if Coronachan floods the streets, I can't be living by the choices of others, I need to choose for myself one day.
No.
2543
>>2542Based neet enabler, I'd take the cheapest option and invest in what you want, unless you need to move to do so.
No.
2544
>>2543I have to move, I'm particularly motivated now because apparently there's a halving of BTC in may, so I want to earn as much as possible to place it in some safe assets (XMR, DASH, LINK surprisingly enough, it has been the only token that has lifted it's value in the bear market).
My plans to study in Russia are kinda floppy though with the recent virus outbreak.
No.
2546
>>2545Hope your ass isn't grass
No.
2548
>>2547This.
Just another ebola/H1Z1 scare to alarm the public to be clean.
No.
2549
>>2547Boy do I hope you're wrong. I want this thing to spread in India, that country desperately needs a massive culling.
No.
2550
coming back from my vacation in china and i've had headaches and a bad temperature the whole flight (I think i got the guy next to me sick too LOL)
what an adventure
No.
2552
>>2551>wasn't wearing hazmat suit better get your affairs in order. RIP liz
No.
2554
>>2551Being brainwashed in a nutshell
No.
2557
>>2554>45 million Chinamen quarantined>brainwashed go away bateater
No.
2558
>>2557*tips straw hat*
still it's only 0.0032% of chinks quarantined (2018 or 2019 population too lazy to check)
and almost every case is in one place,4k+ infected,100+ deds
it's nothing moar than cheap sensation
You're more likely to be killed by vending machine so keep Your eyes on those
*slurps batsoup with silk moths*
No.
2559
>>2556cont.
nvm I went aperage, looks like I overexaggerated my ability to keep calm at all times,welp.
It's funny how edgy I become once the emotions take over.
cringeGonna work 4 months more then leave them a middle finger since I'll have enough for over year of slacking and in that time find a better job.
Oh and btw talked with my ma for over one hour,talking about her negative emotions and from where they come also pointing that it's not finacially worth to kick me out.
Soooo I'm allowed to stay,nice
No.
2561
>>2556>>2559Well at least you have a job
No.
2562
>>2561>hes not happy with being neetGey
No.
2563
>>2562I'd rather wage, place my money in a 100x, and then neet forever, than neet now and risk living in lower conditions later.
No.
2564
>>2563youre better off enjoying your young life now rather than the future because when you are old you look and feel like shit, plus its not like the future is looking too bright either
No.
2566
>>2558>4k+ infected,100+ dedsthat's right, trust the chicom official state released numbers. good guizi
No.
2567
>>2566not enough but who cares this weill fizzle out in a month or too
No.
2568
>>2567Who knows, the virus has a two week gestation period, and because of the joys of multiculturalism there could be Chinamen all over the world right now walking around cluelessly spreading the virus.
No.
2574
>>2567SARS took 6 months to fizzle out and this has already affected more people in China at a much quicker pace.
No.
2575
>>2574>SARSWhooo? This virus will be another whooo pretty soon. The populace probably dont even know what the swine flu or ebola was.
No.
2577
>>2576>That isn't wrongJewish thinking tbh, some people cant be bought, bullied or reasoned with
some men just wanna watch the world burn:^)>tfw powerlessAbsolutely niggerpilled
No.
2579
>>2578>You can't pay rent, buy guns or land in the middle of nowhere without money thoughWhy pay for any of that? All of my shit is free like with pirating. Im not saeyingg that money is bad and we need a communist revolution, but the ways people will screw each other for that extra shekel is sickgening.
No.
2580
>>2579>Why pay for any of that?Stealing is a crime lizzie.
No.
2581
>>2580Not when its against jews.
I mean would you spend a gorrilion dollars for a bottle of water??
No.
2582
>>2570>money is power>survival of the fittest>greed is goodIn a perfect world these wouldn't ring true, but those with those prospects certainly gain greater advantages towards living more pleasurable lives, at the least.
>>2578you're not supposed to beable to escape
No.
2584
>>2583If anything, embrace death with a smile on your face.
No.
2585
>>2584It's mostly children and the elderly that will die, I'm young enough to survive it. I just don't want to get floored by the worst flu of my life because some Chinaman spat on the ground near me.
No.
2588
too unhealthy to have a long life expectancy, too healthy for corona to bless me with eternal rest.
No.
2589
>>2587those are some rookie numbers.
You guys think this was all manufactured by the CIA to keep china down and the general populace in check?
No.
2590
>>2589>You guys think this was all manufactured by the CIAOh please fuck off with the CIA, they consists of boomers and retards patrolling white nationalism on the internet and keeping the fed alive. If anything China collapsing is detrimental to their interests, this isn't the cold war anymore.
No.
2591
Upon a very bleak realization, I may play Silent Hill 2 again.
No.
2592
Anyone has the chart on how to install it? It was a long one
No.
2594
>>2589res, res! da evir cia did it!
*slurps down last bit of delicious bat soup*
No.
2595
I felt like pac-man going through the mall avoiding diseased Chinamen today, hopefully the provisions I acquired while there will be enough to last me through the pandemic.
No.
2597
>>2596Relax bro, where the hell do you live even?
No.
2598
>>2597US I'm just shitposting as actually ranting would just lead to posting the same issues reworded constantly.
No.
2600
>>2589Weird how we probably have the ability to manufacture or mutate our own viruses to the degree that these types of scenarios are even thinkable. I wonder if an airborne virus will be what gets us, I'd figure it'd be a lot easier to create a deadly airborne virus than something that could cease the possibility of it being a threat.
No.
2603
>>2602>texttexttexttextjesus, these people need to meme better
No.
2607
>>2606>heterosexualvery discriminatory post, fear based perhaps? we lizards won't stand for this.
>>2599god i hope so
>>2602based Cool Intelligent Agency
No.
2608
next to no one debates anymore, it's all just fallacy, have sex, cope even from most of our proclaimed best thinkers they're just better at hiding it.
>express opinion
>"wow u must suck dicks"
and bam your thoughts are banished to the shadow realm never to be considered or refuted by anyone because jamal learned computers.
No.
2609
>>2608you can't truly debate with someone fixed in his position or opinions based on fallacies, which is why some retort to that nowadays.
No.
2611
I sleep a lot. I slept from something like 4 pm to 11 pm and now I'm feeling tired again at 3 am. If I didn't have to work, I would probably sleep until 12 or 2 pm.
No.
2612
Frequent urinal tract infection, meh.
Strong pain in my right ball, wth!
I have it for like 12 hours now and it's getting worse.
Nothing happend to my balls that could cause that lol.
Is that a true fight between ape body and lizardly nature?
What do?
No.
2613
>>2612WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK
MY CUM IS JELLY BLOOD
No.
2615
>>2612>>2613cont. I had a day off so decided to visit granfather and go with him for eye operation.
My E G G ache was getting worse.
After traveling 3/4 of road I started to feel extremely sick and powerless.
Asked some bigman to move a little so I can sit because I feel dizzy.
Few secs later I barerly can sit afraid of puking or falling I sit on floor.
Everyone is looking at me tho I can barerly see anything because everything is blinking white.
FUCK
I tell them I don't know what's going on and that I didn't take any drugs.
Some ukrainian asks if anyone has some water to give me,le granny gives me a bottle.
Still I begin to feel worse,trouble with breathing.
That ukrainian tells me to lower my head to the ground.
Woaw now I can see shit again.
Helped me to get out of the subway then she's going to buy some water bottle I ask her to take my credit card. She refuses and rushes for it.
Then took my hat off and helped me undress from jacket.
Stays with me until I feel better then leaves,she was in hurry but helped me anyway even bought the freaking water when I didn't ask for it.
Le gets on train again,walking to gramps was hard, walked like junkie with huge shivers.
When I got there he was afraid of getting sick and didn't even help, not a long time after he left the house LOL
at least my grandmother was trying to help by trying to force me to eat the soup.
While agonizing on bed called stepdad and he picked me up. Went to ER
Orchitis, got high on pain killers.
Interesting day
No.
2617
>>2616another poor soul marked by the chinksoup virus, send your prayers lizards.
No.
2628
>>2626>Shes a big girlYes, yes she is. And she's growing bigger and stronger by the day, unlike EbolaChan who simply let us all down.
No.
2632
>>2631I'm guessing that wart was just hair stuck in skin.
Dunno bout butt though
No.
2634
>>2632I
asked my mum to check out my ass and it seems to be hemmorroids.
I'm having old fart diseases at the age of 21
No.
2636
Had to go fetch neet supplies and thought I saw my brother at the other end of the store, waved and this man and the woman with him gave me "who is this flea ridden homeless man paying tribute to our existence" grimices and had to walk out tard shamed hard.
No.
2637
>>2636I automatically hurry away from people I know at the store. I won't even give them a chance to see me.
No.
2638
I bet you racist fear mongers will feel stupid after seeing this. The coronavirus is no more deadly than the flu, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
https://twitter.com/XHNews/status/1226864532917612544?s=20
No.
2639
>>2638>corona now makes it's victims unable to cease dancing until they spontaneously combust into a swarm of batswow this is evolving fast
>>2637I put on a shallow mask and act like an indecisive kid in a candy shop. That's about all I was gonno do, I have a habit of waving or head nodding then waiting for others to stop talking and "have a good one"ing. I've gained lots of neet cred just by not doing meth and greeting people sometimes, old people love that.
No.
2642
>>2639>spontaneously combust into a swarm of bats>chinaman catches bats>makes a hot bowl of delicious bat soup>"ooh me no feel so good"and so the cycle repeats itself
No.
2644
>>2643In short.
New offer with normal "cheeser" burger but they get black gloves and black bib exdi.
I bring them that shit wearing special tight fitting kitchen apron.
Pouring the watered down normal sauce that is used in sandwiches on burger and fries.
Meanwhile they're recording me and taking pics lmfaooo.
It's not even a new burger.
Imagine overpaying more than 1/3 of normal prize for overpriced sandwich just to watch a lizzie pour a sauce.
Whole thing is awkward,shameful and kinky.
I hate it but it's kinda fun how cringy it is.
If I had to work similar jobs for the same pay for a life I'd kill myself straight away
No.
2645
It's weird seeing how internet culture evolves constantly while things in real life tend to stagnate.
>>2642such is the dance of evolution and decay.
>>2644weird how school shootings are so popular instead of fast food worker restaurant shootings.
No.
2646
>>2645it might have something to do with the high employee turnover in fast food restaurants otherwise im sure we'd see more of them go postal.
No.
2647
>>2646this
also ppl that would go postal are more likely to switch job to more "succesful" one or stay here and sweat for raise.
Imo only the ones who are incompetent would do the shooting.
Although I doubt that someone who is motivated enough to do shooting,wouldn't take his time to learn basic shit and get a manager position.
Here are two huge dummies that probably don't even think but just do the things they've been taught and they're managers.
fortunately the rest is fineI'm the newest employee here but everyone here likes me, getting special treatment and stuff.
Director's favorite and lets me stay longer for extra bucks even when everything is done
It's weird how well I blended in,even better than those who work longer here.
Never expected being able to play-act so successfully
No.
2650
Do people actually give a shit about Kancolle now or everyone just hopped to Azur Lane?
No.
2652
>>2651Are you trying to say you have anthropophobia?
No.
2653
after a 50 day uptime my pc blue screened, and then while I slept turned off, only booting after I fiddled the power switch. He's doomed, my precious PC is doomed.
>>2651I think it's human nature liz, hedonic treadmill and all that. It's truly a battle of who has the greatest combination of copes.
no tips, me tard.
No.
2655
>>2653>my precious PC is doomedRIP computer, hopefully you can at least upgrade. From my experience desktops never really run into problems but laptops usually have a limited life span, especially when you're using a cheap, garage acer with a hdd.
No.
2656
>>2655Maybe I could, i'm less worried about the pc parts failing now than my hard drives being effected.
I've got a nice pc and my interest in new game releases is dwindling, so i'm comfortable keeping the same one for a good while.
And yea the cheap labtop I got a few years ago I hardly ever used freezes when playing youtube videos, it's quite sad. I'd probably be better off putting it down.
No.
2657
>>2652Oh I guess that's what that is +/or aspie.
>>2653having strong arsenal of copes dunno if it's possible to hold more.
none of Lizzies have magical protip to solve my problem instantly, this is madness!
>>2656Most likely it's winbows boot failure.
Small chance for dead hdd, even less for short circuit.
Maybe overheat?
No.
2658
>>2656>freezes when playing youtubeThe old fella was probably made to handle no more than 360p.
>better off putting it downThat's a painful decision to make, I hate seeing old laptops being put out to pasture. The problem if you decide to get new one is you just missed out on all the killer Black Friday deals and who knows how the wu flu will affect future pc inventories and prices.
No.
2659
I think fast imageboards becoming normalnig wastelands was a good thing for me, now I spend time on hobbies a lot more, and always have /jp/ likes and lizchan to browse.
>>2657Shouldn't be over heat, my room was like 60 degrees, my pcs a bit dusty though. wouldn't be surprised if the ssd is failing, never had a non decade old hhd fail on me but ssds hate me.
>>2658>was probably made to handle no more than 360pthat was with 360p
>a painful decision to makeI had high hopes for it, I think i'll still carry them out. was gonno install a ton of eroge and ancient games on it incase my pc ever dies, i gotto move, etc. I will keep it, at the very least to steal the hdd.
No.
2660
>>2659>can't handle 360pthat's about as bad as an old netbook
>high hopes for itgive it some ram and maybe even a nice solid state drive
No.
2662
Since I had dental work done, I've gotten sick twice, have had multiple ear infections, and a list of other issues. The dentist rushed me before I lost coverage and now besides all my other issues I'm near constantly infected some-wear. Think my bodies defense system has become as apathetic as me, I bet those bastards are reading manga and eating ramen.
No.
2663
>>2662dentists are straight up crooks, don't even get me started on them
No.
2666
>>2665I meant not choosing external studies.
Lost password,can't delete… fuck
No.
2667
>>2665>>2666every member of my family bullied me if I took online courses or didnt go to class during the day Id be kicked out
No.
2668
>>2664uni belongs to the black man whitey
>>2663just gonno rip all my teeth out and build my own teeth, flip the dental jew.
>>2660tested it and it plays old eroge really well, but freezes while playing youtube videos still.
What an oddity.
No.
2672
>>2667My family was mad at me that I'm not studying externally.
Had to leave full-time studies and wageslave.
I had IQ test and score was high, they think that I'm sort of genius.
The funny thing is that the test imo was done incorrectly just to boost my confidence lol.
What subject are you on?
Do you learn anything from classes?
In my case I couldn't learn a thing and after some time of unsuccessful trying I decided to just read manga there.
At least year of wageslaving left. Lost some cash because I lended it to mother but she's not willing to give it back.
It was quite a lot, shiet
No.
2673
>mental health going down
>killer urethral opening infection AGAIN
>still on shift
Oh yeah, make me feel alive this way
No.
2674
>>2672>What subject are you on?It was a beginner cs course.
My boomer parents tried to push me into a cs degree because they say
im good with compuers bc I built my own pc and I sit in my room all day.
>Do you learn anything from classes? No, I dont understand a damn thing I fucking hate all those classes they dont teach
anything and its all mindless busywork.
>I decided to just read manga there. I tried playing flash games a couple of times during class but I feel guilty that Im
doing something bad by not paying attention and it will bite my ass further down the line,
but that never really is the case. Memorize shit for a test and go take it, forget about it
the moment im done and move on to the next exam where I have to do the same thing over, over
again thats been my life since I started school.
>wageslavingI worked at a gas station cashier job and it was so fucking easy doing the same shit and i atleast
get compensated for it while at school I make nothing and probably wont get a job thanks to low job
growth in my area and businesses import foreginers cheap+get tax breaks for taking them in. Those
same boomer business owners, (i met one of them while in the college for a project) complain young
kids dont work (they are "lazy" when its their parents who force them the meme to go to college and get any degree)
and so what he does is give visas to cheap workers from bulgaria/east europe and pay them
minum wage and give them tax breaks. I only got that cashier job because of family nepotism, otherwise Id be fucked.
No.
2676
>>2673>mental health going downwelcome to my world
>killer urethral openingI'm worried about having another stomach virus. I might need to get a barium test, which could take months with my shitty medical system.
No.
2687
Gonna visit psychiatrist or sth like that on Saturday.
It got worse and I'm having delusions.
I was good for two months of social interaction (job) and when the third started shit went downhill.
Naisu laifu
No.
2688
>>2687I'd go insane being surrounded by insane people too liz, 2 months is longer than i'd make it, even if you start seeing shadow people or horrifying delusions i'm sure you'll beat the shit out of them or endure and outlast them.
No.
2689
WARNING: CRINGE
>>2688Fortunately shadow ppl or things appearing out of nowhere for a millisecond don't scare me.
Thanks Lizzie I'll try my best to not go mad even more.
Although it's really hard for me.
Already have suicidal thoughts, with everyday it's getting worse.
Well it's normal, things get unbearably bad and you feel like there is no way to stop that so suicide feels like the only remedy.
Even if things causing it are laughable, the mental pain is excruciating.
Funny thing is that if I switched job to one where there is no full time contact with apes my problems would be gone.
Can't do it since I'd get the same or worse kind of hell from my family if I didn't work for even few days.
Funny and sad but it's real.
Talked with them about my problems and they went mad.
So here I am going mental then taking jewpills that make me feel even worse for half a year then the post-pill depression after that happiness and the cycle repeats when something stresses me constantly for certain amount of time.
Thinking about cutting myself just to show them since my words never get to them and blood is the only thing starts to spin their brains. Sounds dumb and edgy I wish there was different way to do it.
What do?
No.
2692
What would You recommend?
I tried talking many times.
Thing that I wrote is really retarded but I'm lost and have no idea what to do
No.
2693
>>2689>Already have suicidal thoughts>Well it's normalCertainly in the scenario you find yourself in, most parents are just grown up children but yours seem pretty unforgiving and ignorant, sorry about that liz.
>Funny and sad but it's real.Funny by divine comedy/tragedy standards. Would you beable to hunt for a more secluded job while still working your normal one? It'd take time but you could try to line up your first day of employment with the day you quit.
>taking jewpills that make me feel even worseNoticed that too, feelings are for the most part pretty awful but once you hide them with medicine but do nothing about what caused them it makes you feel a bit existentially invalidated, and hollow in a way which is also oddly painful in a unique way.
>What do?Advice is kind of like telling someone how to die slower, and it's a bit hypocritical for me to give since i'm speed running life myself. Cutting yourself would probably just make your family angrier, as they seem to respond to resistance or sadness with a lack of will to understand it.
(It's also not that great, it helps you get out of your head for awhile but stresses you out even more)
Don't even know what I should do let alone someone else, I just ignore reality, if I was in your shoes I'd be homeless or dead, not to encourage that for any fellow lizards, i'm just weak/unwilling to compromise/and uninterested in my prospects.
No.
2694
What did you do on Harmony Day?
Did you feel apathy from not being in the moment and instead being on an internet where no fun things are done now?
If so then welcome aboard!
No.
2696
>>2694>Harmony DayI feel sorry for white Australians, not only are they getting ethnically displaced but they're forced to celebrate it. What an insane world we live in.
No.
2697
>>2696im pretty sure harmony day is a /v/
eddit thing.
No.
2698
>>2694I played Let It Die and posted an anime girl on Lizchan.
Living it up lizzies.
No.
2700
>>2697>im pretty sure harmony day is a /v/eddit thing.See, this is what I'm talking about. The internet no longer is about finding something amazing and sharing the experience, it's about belittling others now.
No.
2701
>>2699got two step sisters who sleep around, parents would pay them out of anything. I'd just be told to get a job.
Wish I never had to work simply due to being born as a hole haver, reality lame.
No.
2702
>>2697https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmony_DayI thought he was talking about this. In either case it's a gay and lame holiday.
No.
2703
>>2700>See, this is what I'm talking about. The internet no longer is about finding something amazing and sharing the experience, it's about belittling others now.You wont find me praising that shithole. If you want a happy vee circlejerk by all means, go on over to 8kunt.
No.
2704
>>2693>Would you beable to hunt for a more secluded job while still working yes and no, even writting CV and sending it stresses me hard.
I've made one they called me the next day but couldn't answer cuz customers.
8 calls in 4 min and when I called back they didn't answer,tried many times during that day but same result.
As escapism I just play games after work till it's time to fall asleep.
>speed running lifewhat You mean by this?
>>2695Unfortunately that's not the problem.
Lately I stuffed myself up so much that I got a headache but it changed nothing when it comes to stress.
>>2699Fake it for free bucks Lizzie
Last two days I didn't schiz out that much,stressed only tiny a bit but it was bearable. Weird stuff
No.
2705
>>2703>he thinks I'm talking about 8/v/ and not /v/ in generaltard
No.
2707
Psychotherapist said that I'm stressing because of internal conflict.
I don't think so but I'm just a dumbdumb and know nothing about psychology stuff.
Didn't ask me about social stuff but probably thinks that I'm an incel that is too "lame" to have friends.
At least that's what I felt but it's too early to assume that.
Good news is that the whole conversation went quickly without unnecessary words.
1 hour of therapy costs me 8 of mine,epic.
No.
2709
>>2704>even writting CV and sending it stresses me hard.Same, I don't know why but I hate the process.
>As escapism I just play games after workI enjoy parts of every media but it's hard for me to become to enamored with an escapist activity no matter how much I love them, I'll have a week where I get into something then a week or two of staring at walls or my monitor reading.
>what You mean by thisJust setting myself up for failure, long term isolation, unhealthy living habits paired with disease and bad mental health, me vs world mentality, kind of waiting for my death flag to pop up and take my leave.
>>2707Wouldn't even go to see one if I had to pay for it myself and didn't gain some neet cred.
All I got from female ones were a bunch of pill pushing and "advice" that comes across as condescending.
The male ones are always jordan peterson likes, or woke psychedelic users who usually don't really have advice but are willing to act nice to you for 300$ an hour.
No.
2710
>>2707>psychotherapist I was seeing one for a while. You have to get deep into your inner life with these guys, it was way too intense for me. I honestly felt bad for the guy for having to listen to guys like us tell our twisted tales.
The dream analysis stuff was interesting and helpful. Dreams really are just your unconscious mind trying to communicate with you.
No.
2711
man is 2020 turning out shitty. I want 2019 back
No.
2712
man is reality turning out shitty. I want the void back
No.
2715
>>2714I do not wish Buddhism was real.
I think it's probably pretty accurate though.
>>2713return me to nothing raptor jesus
No.
2720
>>2718weird how many people get dogs just to cage them, I had a good few when I was young and they were never really loud being able to run around freely.
No.
2721
When I stress hard there is a strong urge to punch my head or objects.
Yesterday I was sitting in corner for like half hour fighting the ape rage and hyperventilating.
I'm losing my mind
No.
2722
>>2721if you're not hyper poor look into getting a punching bag, I've been wanting one and I don't think it's unnatural to want to beat the shit out of something to vent, it gets you out of your head too.
No.
2724
>>2721>punch my headbe careful liz, you don't want to break yourself
No.
2728
>>2722I barerly have enough space in my room to make a proper push-up.
>>2724I'll be ,the problem is that when I'm in state like that there is not much logical thinking.
Just a rollercoaster of emotion and fight to not do anything dumb.
Yesterday I felt terrible after a shift. Therapist told me to express my emotions so that's what I did.
Mother was not impressed and rather anoyed,she played a role of victim.
BUT after some time came to my room and talked with me.
I almost instantly bursted into tears.
In short: I told her that I'm losing my mind.
The good news is that she finally understood that I'm not bluffing and that problem is real.
I have two days left of work and then I can resign without any fears of experiencing hell at home.
I'm just gonna look for something where there is no full time contact with clients.
I'm also thinking of changing the therapist because in her opinion my random schiz out related to social stuff is caused by internal conflict,
that is playing games which in "reality" is something I don't want to do. (???)
I'll talk with her about it on the next meeting and maybe cancel it
No.
2729
>>2728>where there is no full time contact with clientsI'd suggest anything night shift. If you can get a night shift job at some dead industrial park you're basically a hidden person. You'll hardly have to interact with other people and you'll have little to no supervision.
No.
2730
>>2728Glad you escaped KFC Hell Liz, good to hear they heard you out at the least.
No.
2731
How do normal people memorize names and phone numbers so well? I can't even remember the dates of holidays, the order of the months, birthdays, names that aren't repeated to me often.
Maybe I'm just full retard.
No.
2732
>>2731Keep in mind that normies are constantly phoning and taking with each other, helping them memorize these things through pure repetition.
No.
2735
>>2729there is nothing like that in my area,lurked on many sites and the only night time job is cleaning or heavy work that I can't do due to shitty spine.
>>2730t-thanks, now I have 2 weeks to find something although it's gonna be hard since almost everything is around contact with client.
So far I've applied for pc building/maintenance and game tester.
>>2733Same but I have no backlog.
Bought cheap 144hz monitor but it's useless since my budget gpu has single link dvi port but it's build like double so I can't go pass 60hz
What U playin?
No.
3110
I'm feeling sad, and I feel like even if I go outside, I won't stop feeling sad. It's not because of any particular reason right now, but it just is. Also, a bit tired, I guess.
